Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends?
Most people have a pic of an ex or ex"s. She doesn"t have them on display. Why does this bother you? Do you think she has never loved another before? Do you have any pics? If you threw them out, it"s probably because of personal preference. Whether she says you can look around (she assumes you trust her). It isn"t right to snoop. Usually, this question is asked by a much younger person.
Last edited by muzicman66; 12-26-2005 at 03:17 PM.
Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends?
So what? They're just photos. Everyone over the age of 20-something will probably have photos of their ex-boyfriend. I do. I don't remember the last time I looked at them. She can't just completely erase her past just because she is dating you. Just because she has these photos doesn't mean she wants to get back with her ex-boyfriends or that she's not serious about you. My friend is married and both her and her husband have photos of their respective ex's, but not on display and not for the purpose of looking at regularly. It's just a part of their personal history, and that's all it is.
Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends?
Some day you will have children and maybe she'll pull them out and tell the story of "back when"..... I have pics of my ex's and sometimes I pull them out just to find myself, to remind myself of where I have been and the things I did. They are just memories. Give her time, she'll probably throw them out eventually.
Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends?
people keep photos of all the people from their past, normally. i would be more disturbed if she HADN'T kept them. they're just photos. a mature relationship does not include denial of what's happened in the past. i would be happy if my boyfriend felt close enough to me to share those photos.
Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends?
I agree with a couple of the other postings on here. Personally, I have kept a photo of my first serious boyfriend, even though we broke up over two years ago, when I was 19. Does she talk about any of them still, or refer to things she used to do with any of these guys? I see where you are coming from in a sense (i.e. it might bother me a tad). However, if your relationship with this girl is strong, and you love each other and there has been talk of marriage, I would try and trust her. Good luck
Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends?
The only person you are hurting by persisting with this issue is yourself. Chances are she never even thought about or looked at these photos before you brought it up... and now they are a big issue - which again is making you even more eager to get rid of them. Vicious circle. And it is a little selfish to expect someone to get rid of their own personal belongings to make you feel better.
I keep photos of my ex, my past friends that I am no longer in contact with, pics of when I was at school, holidays etc etc etc. Why? Same reason anyone keeps photos of ANYTHING. It's just to remember a part of my past, where I came from etc. Because it's my life, and I want to remember the good and bad times... I don't display them to flaunt around, but it's just like my own personal diary of my life. Just for me or others close to me.
Being upset by her having pictures of exes packed away shows alot of insecurity. Instead of worrying about the pictures that didn't seem to mean a big deal to her in the first place, I would work more on why you feel so insecure in your relationship and what you can do to improve it so that it doesn't end up ruining your relationship.
Good luck... and for your own sake... let it go. It's really not a big deal. Nearly every girl or guy you meet will have a stash of photos with their exes.
Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Citron
Not out of spite, but just cause I don't keep things like that.... I have seen pictures of an ex-girlfriend that a mutual friend of mine happened to have, and I looked at it once, chuckled, and moved on. He offered it to me, but I just didn't need it, so I declined. So to me, when I see girls have a lot of pics of ex-boyfriends, I just am kind of confused about the reason. Sure, I don't like them because I am insecure and don't like the thought of her needing them or hiding them or whatever, but I asked the question so that maybe a rational explanation could help me get over it.
asking this question is like asking why anyone ever keeps any pictures. i had a boyfriend once who threw photos out, and i found that sort of cold and disturbing. why would anyone even take pictures to start with if they didn't intend on preserving a memory? that's your answer- people take photos to remember. it's that simple.
Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends?
Where did you get the info. that 90% of the people don"t want their partner to have photos of an ex or ex"s? Everyone I know has some amount of pics. Most people on this board seem to also.
Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends?
how can you possibly know what any other person's motivation for keeping photos of exes is if you don't keep them yourself? to say that it's some sort of retroactive pat on the back or anything else is purely speculation. bottom line is, you asked why women keep photos of ex-boyfriends, and the answer, for me at least, remains the same: we keep them for the same reason we keep all of other photos. we don't have some mental category of 'ex-boyfriend photos'. there really is no deeper reason than that, at least none that i know of. it seems like you're looking for the answer you've already come up with verified.
Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends?
Personally, I am uninterested in keeping my old flames pictures. To me the past is where it belongs, and not in any of my boxes hidden away! Of course, many women (some men) are quite sentimental and like to keep these momentos for whatever reason. I think their was another thread on here about some girl wondering why her man when keep pics of his old flame. This is a sticky situation, that needs to be resolved promptly. Either someone is fully dedicated to keeping their relationship in tact by alittle compromisse or they aren't. I feel there should be a taking into account the feelings of ones SO, especially when the securites and slighted feelings come creeping in. Good luck on this one!
Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends?
Point taken. They"ve only been together for 10 months though. When you put this thread ,with his other thread about his thoughts on his girlfriend and her ex"s. You have an unhealthy situation for him, her and their relationship.
Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends?
I just think that it is very unfair to ask someone to part with their possessions because you don't understand it. I don't for any part understand why someone would want to throw away their photos, but hell, if you want to do that, go for it. But to say that someone keeps them for the purposes that you have written... well there is something just not right there. There seem to be some very hidden and deep seated issues. And really, if the current relationship was as important to you as you say, you should try to resolve them before it ruins your relationship - because the stats aren't so great for women who will put up with that sort of behaviour either. In effect, what you are doing is saying that this is why YOU think she keeps them - because you won't accept any other possibilities. In reality, the reasons are much more simple. Some people just do, just like any other photos of anything. There is no ulterior motive or conspiracy, and let me tell you, it would take a quite shallow person to keep photos for a 'pat on the back'. That's just sad for anyone to even have come up with the suggestion and shows serious insecurity problems.
If I knew that someone was going through my things and telling me to throw away old unlooked at pics to make them feel better about themselves... well I'd be jack of it very quickly and they wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.
So you obviously won't accept any of our answers, so let me ask you something... why is it so important to you that she throw these photos away? YOU are the one that made the big deal out of them, not her. How will it make you feel better if she was to throw them away? And why do you believe that she should do that to prove to you that you mean something to her? BTW, I'm not being sarcastic, just trying to get you to see another point of view because you seem to be unwilling to believe that people who keep pics of their exe's may have very innocent reasons... as you have seen here.
Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends?
Quote:
Originally Posted by muzicman66
Point taken. They"ve only been together for 10 months though. When you put this thread ,with his other thread about his thoughts on his girlfriend and her ex"s. You have an unhealthy situation for him, her and their relationship.
Maybe, but how exactly is throwing away some photos going to help resolve anything. What exactly does that prove?
Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends?
If your relationship was healthy. You would have these feelings to the extreme you do and wouldn"t be hiding them. When she finds out your true feelings about her. She may want to end things. Most woman will tolerate this behavior from a guy for only so long. These thoughts are not normal.
Maybe you should ask her casually and playfully, What makes her feel love for you? What she"s learned from her past? What happened to these other guys? Then you will have a better insight and knowledge about your relationship with her. Try it.
Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends? 
Re: Why do girls keep photos of their ex-boyfriends? 
