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Old 12-27-2005, 03:31 AM   #1
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Is my relationship over

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 1 year 4 months we have a 6 month old daughter and she had 2 children from a previous relationship which i took on. When she fell pregnant I got scared and wanted to escapr so I got back together with my ex and becasue i though i didn't wan t baby in my life i had just finished uni and paniced. Anyway within a week I decided i cannot do this i don't love my ex I want my ang back.I told Ang I am moving back to my mums to work in london so i can progress as there was a good opportunity there she agreed to it however was not happy at the same time i thought slowly i thought i could get rid of my ex but when i said its over she began harrassing me and tried driving me of the road in her car, she threatened to ruin me my mum and my work. Eventually she followed me and found out where Ang was (ang had no idea what was happening) she then saw ang and me togeter and saw that she was pregnant and flipped, she told her everything and exaggerated it all. This all happened in Jan/Feb 05, then me and Ang talked and got over it I told her I want her since then the baby was born everything was good and we was however still arguing and bickering. She then had enough and told me to move out, so i did however i still came and saw her and the babies as much as possible 3/4 times a week. I got her a diamond ring for xmas and everythig seemed she said its an engagement ring and why i didn't ask her to marry me I was so happy and the reason I did not was not to get rejected. but then out of the blue she said a week before xmas its over , we had an argument about her lending money to someone just a few days ago. I was heart broken. she say she loves me and cares for me but cannot carry on like this and she etill brings up the fact that i cheated on her. my family disown me becasue they don't like ang and the baby but i stood by them. I get her flowers we were going to go on holiday etc. I found out her brother doesn't like me and that his mate fancies her. I don't know what to do I want her back, what do I do ?

Last edited by jag943; 12-27-2005 at 05:35 AM.

 
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Old 12-27-2005, 12:33 PM   #2
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Re: I my relationship over

I think you messed up by going back with your ex. You were being very selfish and not considering anyone's feelings but your own. I think you hurt both of them really bad. Ang doesn't have trust anymore in you and why should she? I think you need to figure out what it is you really want before you start messing with other peoples emotions. There is a baby involved now and that baby needs security. Not a father who wants to play house when its convientient for him. Getting married is a commitment for the long haul. I don't think Ang takes you seriously. Your going to have to prove it. Her brother has a reason to be angry with you, you left his sister pg and alone. What do you expect? I think you need to do some deep down soul searching. Both girls deserve to be happy and not have their emotions played with. Good luck

 
Old 12-27-2005, 02:47 PM   #3
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Re: I my relationship over

Your family disowned you? I resemble that remark! I have one of those kinds of "fair weathered families". Sorry to hear that when you need them the most! I guess your family is like mine and never makes a mistake and know everything about everything! Grrrrrr......I think that your GF wants you to ask her to marry her and make a date of marriage and DO IT! Not talk about it! But if you two fight like cats and dogs and can't get along then you two need to move on. But if fights are just about your non- commitment then if you commit to her that fight should end. Good luck!
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Old 12-27-2005, 04:09 PM   #4
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Re: I my relationship over

Quote:
Originally Posted by keepsgoin
I think that your GF wants you to ask her to marry her and make a date of marriage and DO IT!
My thoughts exactly. I mean, you haven't exactly acted the most responsibly lately have you? The poor thing had to suffer through alot. She was pregnant and you left her. Then another woman is involved... gee I'm surprised she even wants to talk to you. Of course she is going to have some resentment... you left her high and dry when she was pregnant. Just because you have made brief attempts at making things right doesn't mean that she should just be over all the hurt you caused. She is looking for a long term commitment from you that you really want to be with her. She is probably very insecure because of the way you have treated her and wants to feel some sort of security in the relationship. She wants to know where your intentions really lie. If you feel you can not commit, I would probably just walk away and let her find someone who loves her enough to want to share her life with her and give her the security she is looking for. If you really want to keep her... I mean, she is giving you the hints but you're not taking them!

In response to her family not liking you... are you kidding me? Can you blame them? I can't imagine any loving family would love a guy who got their daughter pregnant and then ran off to be with his ex... Maybe I just don't know all the details, but to me you are playing the victim, but the only person that can change things is YOU because you put yourself in this position.

In answer to your question though, unless you start taking responsibility, make some commitments, and mature to the point where you don't feel the need to run everytime things get tough... yes it probably is over. With 3 kids, she doesn't have time to play kiddy games or to wait for someone to grow up and know what they want from life and stop being afraid.
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Last edited by StormGirl; 12-27-2005 at 04:12 PM.

 
Old 12-28-2005, 01:15 AM   #5
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Re: I my relationship over

I really appreciate all your responses, and I am taking all this in. She said to me last wednesday its over , just out of the blue, her brother is now often staying there with her and his friend who also stays over their with him now fancies her, he is one of these criminals who says he wants to turn good, however he has an intermittant job and hardly does anything I don't know ho he would support her. I messed up big time but deep down I am a nice person, I sort of led 2 lives one with her and another with my work and friends, but I really do want to marry her and I want to be with her. Should I call up and arrange to meet her or should I just turn up at her doorstep and see what happens ? also often she is at her mums im staying a fair distance away from her should I just turn up ? On xmas day I spent it with her and her family and she still kept saying its over, however she left at 3 in the afternoon and said she went to her nans and left me with all the kids (bareing in mind it was our daughters 1st xmas) she went with her brother and his mate and said she would be abck at 9 but then made an excuse saying the taxi firm messed up the booking and she'll be back at 11 I knew there are several taxis available , why would she do that ? her parents spoke to her and said that Ang said "if you don't baby sit then the I can't stay round hers" when she turned up she resfused she said that and said " if jag aint doing anything he can babysit if he's staying round mine" does she want to be wit her brothers friend ? she even gave me a peck on the lips before shge went to bed on xmas eve and stroked my arm while I stroked her stomach for a few seconds. Is she confused ? Even on boxing day (26th) she said shes going out, I don't know if I'm fighting a lost battle here. I love her cos I want to be with her and for my daughter. I get the impression that as her brother is there with her often she is not lonely and is becoming accustomed to be me not being there as he is probably bad mouthing me, how do I get around this ?

 
Old 12-28-2005, 01:33 PM   #6
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Re: I my relationship over

If you want to marry her, then why don't you? No girl wants to constantly hear that it's 'coming one day' all the time. Do it, or shut up about it and let her be free to find someone who might want to marry her.

You are so worried about someone else moving in on her, but you are doing nothing about it. And she can see that. You are, in effect, letting it happen. If you love this girl so much, why are you doing nothing? Why aren't you fighting for her? You were the one who let her down time and time again, now it's up to you to fight to save the relationship.

If you feel afraid of committing to a life with the mother of your child, don't bother her... she doesn't need to feel that all over again.
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