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Old 12-27-2005, 07:29 AM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 87
rd1978 HB User
turning in more than friends ?

have a long time friend 14 or so years we have bolth been there for each other through other relationship's- in between relationships we have kissed flirted -- skinny dipping etc.etc. but i have never slept with her,, prob could have taken things further but as being a shy guy i never did,, we bolth are out of our long term relationships-- bolth 5 years-- we are mid 20's,, its been about 6 months for her 8 months for me -- we are on the phone for hours and hours a week-- mom has been telling /her /us for a long time that we are crazy for not being togethor- there has been times when she is jelious of other girls - and much more since her breakup ,,

we have kissed 2 times since her breakup ,, she initiated it,, bolth been drinking ,, cuddling on the couch,, etc.etc. comments like her ex prob always thaught me and her were going to be togethor --and if anyone her ex would want to see her with me because he knows i would treat her right.. saying stuf to me like which side of the bed do you like to sleep on ,, wanting to know if i would take her somewhere and if i would take her romantically,, the list goes on and on,, she told her friend a little while back she had feelings and really wanted to do this with me -- i know things were changing because there were times she got nervous around me and i got "that look"....There have been alot of "signs " she has given me and im not that cocky guy who thinks every girl wants him, I tread lightly with this because we have been friends for so long and are so comfotable with each other.....

now here is the sticky part - I am almost positive there is another guy in the picture,,introduced by the family -- he is labled her "friend" but it always seems on certain nights of the week she can be mia or not call me back untill the morning -- we talk like 2-3 times a day ,,,but i always get the gut feeling when i think she is hanging out with him,, it almsot seems like a pattern-- i honestly dont know anything for sure -- but i dont think im to far off -- i dont beleive he has done anything nice for her they just hang out at her his place most of the time

do i have the right to be annoyed ,, i mean tecnically she is single so i suppose she is allowed to do whatever,,but as a best friend it annoys me she hasnt filled me in on him,,{ i havent asked either though} just the other day i told her how i felt about her ,, we couldn't talk at the time but all of her replys were"" i know what your saying ""-- i was telling her how i look at her differently and stuff like that.... and she suggested we talk this week in person ,, so prob tommorrow --

I am very confused as to where her feelings are,, and the deal with this other guy, and if i have the right to be a little mad,, esp since a little while ago i had a fwb that i would hang outoccasionsally and she asked me not to see her ,,, i know my only true awnser will come from her ,, but any suggestions would help , and i would like to see how close other's and
my own feelings are on with what she tells me, thanks.....

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Old 12-27-2005, 04:27 PM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Australia!!
Posts: 880
StormGirl HB User
Re: turning in more than friends ?

Hi RD , long time no speak! I see that you are well and truly past your ex. It's good to see. But when one ends, another one starts and the issues come all over again!!!

Honestly, I do think you have a right to be a little peeved at her behaviour. Especially because from what you've said, she does seem to be leading you on. I just hope it's not a rebound thing for her? What do you think? Like she's looking for attention from whichever guy will give it to her and it makes her feel more secure? Just a thought... cause I'd hate to see you get caught up in that.

I mean, of course she is single and can hang out with another guy if she wants. But having asked you to stop seeing someone, and making suggestive remarks... why hasn't she done the same? Maybe she is not sure where things are going with you 2, so she is keeping her options open?

I'm really not sure. The only way is to ask her about him, just casually. But firstly, I would make your intentions clear. If you want to be with her and make a go at an exclusive relationship, let her know and go from there. If not, then tell her that you need to cool things down in order to not ruin the friendship. When everything is out in the open, it's the start that you need to draw the lines from there...

Good luck RD, I hope it all works out for you.

Let me know if you want to bounce some more ideas or if I can help in some other way... Nice to see you about again!


Old 12-28-2005, 02:43 PM   #3
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 87
rd1978 HB User
Re: turning in more than friends ?

nice to hear from you storm girl,,, its been a long time .nice to hear froj you...... first thing... I dont beleive this girl would ever mess with me ,, although she may like the attention,, we are very close friends and have been for a long time ,, but like i said there was always kinda something there and comments she has made ,, its not like a brother sister thing,, its so stupid how some people are like your in the friend zone,, thats crap-- ive hooked up with a bunch of "close friends" over the years,just never persued it passed that
my biggest fear was the rebound thing,, thats why i wanted things to take there course but im at a point in time where something needs to happen one way or another,, she has made more comments to make any normal person think she is interested but like i said i tread lighty and wont get a big head over it,, rebound,,, attention ? ,, i really dont know...
i need to find out about how she feels about me ,, then the other guy will be discussed,, if she choses him over me there will be nothing in the future ,, i will not be second best,, but anyway we hung out all day today and it went well lots of firting ,, lots of laughing joking around and eye locking,,I almost feel as though she is waiting for me to become more romatic towards her and start making some moves and showing her how i feel ,, but 1 way or another I will have a serious conversation by the end of the week ,,

Old 12-28-2005, 04:06 PM   #4
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Australia!!
Posts: 880
StormGirl HB User
Re: turning in more than friends ?

Good for you rd, have that talk the sooner the better. It doesn't even have to be dark and serious, just to get it out in the open. Hopefully she is just waiting to see how you feel about her. She may be confused about how you feel, so is also being cautious... and you know... 2 cautious people = not alot of action!!!

I'm sure if you guys have been friends for so long, you must know her really well. But I guess until you both make your intentions clear about where you want this to go, you won't truly be able to recognise if it's a rebound thing for her or not.

I really hope it works out for you. It sounds like she makes you happy. Good luck!

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