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Old 12-27-2005, 11:52 AM   #1
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Angry Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

I hope all of you old timers are doing well, and the new timers, I hope you are getting the help you need!

I don't really want to make a long sob story here, but for those that remember some of my posts, I do have issues with my sister in law....on my husband's side (his brother's wife).

Well for Christmas we spent all this money on them and their two kids and I got from them, 2 pairs of slippers (the exact same ones just different colors) that was it, I didn't quite understand...why 2 pair? Not even a variation in style. We got her this really cute shirt and a pair of cute slippers from a store she likes to shop at, we gave his brother a game for his Play station 2, and my husband gave his brother $40 for gas money. They also gave us a gift card for a restaurant.

Do you think I'm being petty and ungreatful? My husband's mom got me this nightgown that looks like something my mother would wear and gave my sis in law a nice sweater. Last year I got a Maternity top and wasn't even pregnant!

 
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Old 12-27-2005, 12:11 PM   #2
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Re: Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

They might have got you them from a buy-one-get-one-free shop Joking aside, I would probably not get very hurt if their financial situation was not really that good. But yeah, I would prefer a more thoughtful present for the same price. His mum might only have a poor taste and doesn't mean any offence? The Maternity top might be an indirect expression of theor desire to see your babies?????

 
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Old 12-27-2005, 12:12 PM   #3
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Re: Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

try not to judge the meaning behind the gifts by how much they cost. giving a gift should be just about giving the gift- not about what you get in return. i would focus my energy on having a good relationship with your sister-in-law instead of finding more reasons to not get along.

 
Old 12-27-2005, 12:21 PM   #4
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Re: Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

Ok, thanks

I know that you all probably think I'm shallow, but I didn't want to write the entire story here, it probably wouldn't fit. Sister in law was emailing my husband saying to get them a gas card cause they don't have money for gas (which is fine) but then, when she didn't get a response from husband, she emailed me asking if he got that email! I would never do that.

By the way, they may not be well off with money, but NEITHER ARE WE, and they think we have all the money in the world, we are struggling just as much as they are.....they just don't have a clue.

Last edited by here4support; 12-27-2005 at 12:27 PM.

 
Old 12-27-2005, 12:53 PM   #5
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Re: Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by here4support
I hope all of you old timers are doing well, and the new timers, I hope you are getting the help you need!

I don't really want to make a long sob story here, but for those that remember some of my posts, I do have issues with my sister in law....on my husband's side (his brother's wife).

Well for Christmas we spent all this money on them and their two kids and I got from them, 2 pairs of slippers (the exact same ones just different colors) that was it, I didn't quite understand...why 2 pair? Not even a variation in style. We got her this really cute shirt and a pair of cute slippers from a store she likes to shop at, we gave his brother a game for his Play station 2, and my husband gave his brother $40 for gas money. They also gave us a gift card for a restaurant.

Do you think I'm being petty and ungreatful? My husband's mom got me this nightgown that looks like something my mother would wear and gave my sis in law a nice sweater. Last year I got a Maternity top and wasn't even pregnant!
I think we somehow must have the same in-laws! I was just thinking this morning how much money and time DH and I spent on his sister, her hubby and their two kids this year. I got a plain white turtleneck shirt and DH got a hat from them. Finances aren't an issue for us, nor them.

I don't have any advice; I'm sorry. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I would never, ever not give my neice and nephew the best Christmas I can in exchange for teaching their parents some sort of lesson by skimping out one year. I think it's just one of those things

P.S. You know, after writing this, I may have some advice -- some advice I might use myself next year. What about a wish list? Some families do that, you know? It doesn't have to be expensive stuff, either. You could request a gas card or a video store gift card ($10), thermal underwear in a proper size or a specific bottle of wine or liquor. My family's never done this, but I have plenty of friends who love it. Food for thought for next year

 
Old 12-27-2005, 01:02 PM   #6
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Re: Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

I think the best solution would be to set a price range for gifts everyone would get one another. Wish list is also a good idea. Also, I never understood the purpose of spending ridiculous amounts of money on Christmas gifts. To me, it should be more symbolic. I hate all the commercialism of Christmas. My friend and her family decided this year to only get gifts for the kids in the family and that's it. I think it's so smart. It's just such a waste of energy on petty things, having to worry who got what for whom and for how much.

 
Old 12-27-2005, 01:16 PM   #7
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Re: Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

I guess I like the idea of a wish list, but on the other hand, just don't wanna deal with it anymore. I told my husband I don't want to take part in the gift exchange next year. I know that won't happen.

I know what the real meaning behind Christmas is, and it isn't all about the gifts.....that is for sure...however the gifts aggravate me each time so why bother!

 
Old 12-27-2005, 01:40 PM   #8
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Re: Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

that's why I'm so glad I'm not married anymore!!!

dealing with all that BS with my inlaws....

 
Old 12-27-2005, 01:54 PM   #9
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Re: Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

LOL Rosequartz, I'm glad you are happily UNMARRIED....

I wouldn't trade my husband for anyone else in the world!

 
Old 12-27-2005, 02:25 PM   #10
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Re: Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by here4support
I hope all of you old timers are doing well, and the new timers, I hope you are getting the help you need!

I don't really want to make a long sob story here, but for those that remember some of my posts, I do have issues with my sister in law....on my husband's side (his brother's wife).

Well for Christmas we spent all this money on them and their two kids and I got from them, 2 pairs of slippers (the exact same ones just different colors) that was it, I didn't quite understand...why 2 pair? Not even a variation in style. We got her this really cute shirt and a pair of cute slippers from a store she likes to shop at, we gave his brother a game for his Play station 2, and my husband gave his brother $40 for gas money. They also gave us a gift card for a restaurant.

Do you think I'm being petty and ungreatful? My husband's mom got me this nightgown that looks like something my mother would wear and gave my sis in law a nice sweater. Last year I got a Maternity top and wasn't even pregnant!
Let me ask about the slippers. Is one pair pink and the other purple? Do they have a snow flake embroided on the top with fur going all the way around? Very curious here.................
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Old 12-27-2005, 02:31 PM   #11
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Re: Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

It amazes me how many people give gifts for Christmas/Holiday for insurance as to what kind of gift they get in return. A gift is just that, a GIFT. It shouldnt be about "what they can or cant aford to give".

Merry Christmas.
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Old 12-27-2005, 03:14 PM   #12
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Re: Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

It comes a point in families(they get too extended) that all that gift giving needs to come to a screeching hault...There ain't no santa...there ain't never gonna be no santa so "stop the insanity". Families need to just get together and enjoy the company. In my family it got so ridiculous with all the gift giving that people were getting into financial problems over it...that's just silliness. It was so silly, everyone would have to buy everyone some present and it wasn't anything anyone wanted...we were all just spending a whole lot of money on a whole lot of junk! Finally I said, "enough is enough...I'm am not doing this anymore!" I mean I had my family and about a million nieces and nephews and I had my husband's family and another million nieces and nephews!
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Old 12-27-2005, 03:52 PM   #13
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Re: Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

A few years ago, my mom told me to get my ex-husband something "from our son", even though he hadn't bought anything for me in years. I was on a very tight budget so I just got him some kind of flavored coffee and chocolate (he likes both). He called me up and read me the riot act, calling me cheap, yelling and carrying on! I told my mom I'd never buy him anything again.

 
Old 12-27-2005, 04:13 PM   #14
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Re: Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

There! You see what I mean. Its not the purchase price if its a gift! I will NEVER understand why some act like this.
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Old 12-27-2005, 04:23 PM   #15
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Re: Kind of hurt-probably will sound selfish :(

Talk about an ungrateful receiver, right? I even signed the Christmas tag that it was from our son and when he opened it in front of him, he said "Big deal". Later on he proceeded to call up and scream at me!

 
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