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Old 12-28-2005, 12:17 PM   #1
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BostonGirl44 HB User
The talk about taking online profile down....

I've been seeing a really great guy for a month now. My online dating membership expired a day after I met this guy and I never bothered renewing. I was disappointed with the guys I had met but I really like this current guy. Out of curiousity, I checked his profile and it said he's been active within the last week. We've never talked about being exclusive or anything but of course it bugs me a little. I don't want him to think I'm pressuring him in any way at all to take his profile down, but when is it ever a good time to mention where a relationship is going and if a profile is going to come down? Is there even a good time?

 
Old 12-28-2005, 01:44 PM   #2
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Hiya HB User
Re: The talk about taking online profile down....

I'm not sure you really have to mention it at all. As long as his profile is still not only up, but still showing current activity, then I think it's pretty safe to assume he's still out there looking. When he decides he's really into you, he'll take the profile down, or at least stop using it and forget all about it. I could be off base here, but it seems to me that exclusivity is something a man can give the appearance of, but it's not something a man will truly give just because you discuss it or ask for it. It's something he gives if and when he feels like it, not before.

 
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Old 12-28-2005, 01:58 PM   #3
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SophiaM HB User
Re: The talk about taking online profile down....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hiya
I'm not sure you really have to mention it at all. As long as his profile is still not only up, but still showing current activity, then I think it's pretty safe to assume he's still out there looking. When he decides he's really into you, he'll take the profile down, or at least stop using it and forget all about it. I could be off base here, but it seems to me that exclusivity is something a man can give the appearance of, but it's not something a man will truly give just because you discuss it or ask for it. It's something he gives if and when he feels like it, not before.
Yeah, I agree with everything Hiya said. In my opinion, the man should take his profile down out of his own free will. When you have to ask him for it, it's not such a good sign. The good thing is that he hasn't been logging on in a week, as you said, so hopefully he'll take it down soon or will stop using the site alltogether. I would say if after a while of dating and beeing intimate with him, he keeps logging on, it would be an indication he's not looking for a committed relationship. I think if after, say, two months of dating he doesn't take the profile down, he might not be the right guy to invest time and emotions in. But hopefully it won't be the case here.

 
Old 12-28-2005, 02:15 PM   #4
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opielonghorn HB User
Re: The talk about taking online profile down....

a month is a pretty short time to have been dating someone. in the future, i wouldn't bother checking to see if he has left it up or not. just relax and see how the relationship goes. i don't know that i ever had an actual discussion that addressed exclusivity in a relationship. it was just always sort of assumed. give it time. and maybe you should continue dating others as well, if you feel like it's still in a casual stage.

 
Old 12-28-2005, 02:29 PM   #5
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LittleRose1982 HB User
Re: The talk about taking online profile down....

I think you first need to establish what your relationship is. Is it exclusive? Serious? Wait until those questions are answered, and you're probably wise to wait until he is the one to bring it up.
Once he's done that, if he's still checking his online profile, then it may be time to ask him about it. My boyfriend's profile still existed, although he never checked it. When I finally asked him about it, I said "Are you a 'single guy waiting to meet the right girl' (his profile headline)?" He said of course not and he had already met the right girl. I just smiled and said "Well then do you really need that profile?" He took it down immediately, saying he had forgotten it was still there and thought it automatically got deleted after he cancelled his subscription. Sometimes you just need to bring their attention to it!

 
Old 12-28-2005, 04:15 PM   #6
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muzicman66 HB User
Re: The talk about taking online profile down....

Keep things casual until he takes it down. Better yet, date other for now. Chill on the intimacy until he knows what he wants.

 
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