Ken-Y

I have posted numerous times before about a girl I had been dating who I recently broke up with a while ago and wanted to get back with her. I told her I wanted to try things out again and she told me she would think about it. She wrote me the other day and told me she doesnt think it would work out. She has alot of stuff goin on and shes leaving to visit her best friend in London at the end of january or mid february and doesnt know how long she is going to be gone. Im really having a hard time now. It seemed she wanted to try this again and then she tells me this.

I dont know what Im going to do. Im so sad and feeling so depressed over this. I didnt just like her alot, she was also one of my best friends and I thought things could still work out. Before we got together and when we were together she would call me all the time at night and we would talk for hours and text me all through the day and tell me she missed me and wanted to see me. Even when she went out with her friends. When I read that email I understood where she was coming from even though I didnt want this at all but what really made me feel bad was the way she ended it by saying "call me sometime". I was so use to us talking everyday and night all the time that when I read that it made me think she just doesnt want to really talk anymore. I havent heard from her (except from reading her email) in 2 days. Thats the longest I have gone without talking to her since knowing her for 2 years.

Im so sad and dont know how I can replace the attention and feeling that she gave me. Yea I have other friends that I go out with and stuff but they only call sometimes when they want to go out and theres no one else. She would go out of her way to call me and I think thats why I feel so bad about all this. The past 2 nights I would leave the phone next to my bed like I use to and wait to hear from her, but she never called. I figured shes busy because shes always the one to call. I think she just doesnt want to get to attached either before she leaves or something. She told me that in the email to. Its her birthday today and I just sent her a message saying happy birthday so I know I wont hear from her today either because she will be out.

I dontk now how I am going to replace this void that I have right now. No other girl seemed to care about me like this. Where am I going to find someone to talk to now on these nights when I dont go out and can just talk about anything for long time.I feel so lonely now and dont know what to do. I dont think I will find someone like that for a very long time. Sure I have plenty of friends that are girls but it was nothing like what I had with this one. I guess I just needed some place where I can write about all this and I appreciate you all for reading this. I know I need to move on I guess but it just feels so lonely now.