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Old 12-29-2005, 12:45 PM   #1
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monoose HB User
is he losing interst? please help me

blah blah blah blah blah

Last edited by monoose; 10-16-2008 at 04:40 AM.

 
Old 12-29-2005, 02:05 PM   #2
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Re: is he losing interst? please help me

an hour on the train isn't too bad, sometimes a bit of time apart, a couple of hours or a day not calling or texting can be healthy. You'd eventually go mad if you were hearing and with each other all the time, being apart is what makes the good bits feel better when you do get together, which you appear to still be getting from each other.

I'd back off and try not to give off any impression that you may be feeling insecure (nothing wrong with this, happens to us all) - past experience has done more harm than good for me here demanding clarification, it can scare the other person away. It's horrible though because it's always playing on your mind, the worst thing you can do is let your thoughts wander too much.

You say you haven't really settled at uni yet (again, been there at college, uni, new jobs, it happens) this can blow the other thing a little out of proportion (feeling irrational, a little needy) especially if you're not hearing from the other person all the time.

It's hard but try and settle down a little, make friends, enjoy uni, give him a little bit of space. He sounds like he still cares about you, this is the next step of the relationship (especially if you're an hour apart and circumstances have changed) rather than fearing the worst there's also signs in your post which indicate it could be getting stronger, even if you can't see them at the moment

now if only I could take my own advice

 
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Old 12-29-2005, 02:52 PM   #3
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Re: is he losing interst? please help me

thankyou fro your advice, it means a lot to me. do you think it sounds fatal though? i feel so upset, i just want him to be crazy about me again. i don't know if i'm being irrational or if there really are obvious signs that he's losing interest

 
Old 12-29-2005, 03:23 PM   #4
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Re: is he losing interst? please help me

If you have a BF that you love more then anything, the first thing to do is consider where you want the relationship to go, and where he wants it to go. If you both agree on taking it up a notch or at least having interest to then it's time to really staat pushing yourself and your relationship awareness to a whole new level. Let's start by summing up your knowledge of your BF. What 3 words best describe him, do you know what his true passion in life is? What are some of his pet peeves? Does he have any fantasy's and what are they? How supportive are you of him and his goals? Do you try and help him achieve his goals? How much positive feedback do you show him? (Acknowledgement) You see, men are just like women in the sense that they also desire and need support and attention, to be noticed even. Also, men tend to lean towards a woman who not only attends to him, but is strong enough to do things on her own too! Men like to be the knight in shining armour but at the same time would like to be taken care of or see that you can still function without them for at least a day or a few hours.

 
Old 12-29-2005, 03:30 PM   #5
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Re: is he losing interst? please help me

someone has just lost interest in me, so I'm kind of feeling the same, I asked her to clear things up and it's made it worse, said she couldn't be bothered with all the small things and little talk anymore, looking back I should have eased off maybe. It may be different for you. I guess if I could have done it differently I'd have not let it play on my mind about her not talking to me as much as she used to, turns out it was a turn off for her. It's tough but try and go along with it, be happy, be independant and make him keep wanting you by being confident rather than uncertain or, in my case, paranoid, make it so you never fail to surprise him without going too far and being too pushy. If the worst ever did come to the worst, which it doesn't sound like, then you'd have done nothing wrong. It's weird and hollow not having that 'in love crazy' feeling after having it, but it's a feeling that does sometimes ease off without meaning the relationship is in trouble or it's no longer there anymore, sometimes it's the just next step and too much familiarity can be a killer rather than being apart.

 
Old 12-29-2005, 03:44 PM   #6
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Re: is he losing interst? please help me

My two cents? I think you need to quit bickering over petty things. If you do care for this guy you need to STOP doing that. If you have it in your mind that you are going to push him away then the chances are good you will. Pick and choose your battles. Also a relationship isn't CONSTANT communication. He doesn't have to email you, text message, call you, hop on the train, reasure you...omg that is alot of work to keep a relationship even if you love somebody. Plus he is going to college to? YOu need to relax and take it easy. Regaurdless if you do or don't argue if he wants to leave you he will. Now quit giving him reason to leave you and love the man for who he is and respect him when he takes a few hours to call you. You need to relax and just take things as they come or your going to lose a good man from freaking out so much. Good luck

 
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