her was her response - Relationship Health Message Board

kalbc311 · 12-29-2005, 01:49 PM

ok, just looking for some feed back.. i had posted earlier about my situation.. i followed some advice and wrote her an email saying how i felt and asking for just a little response as i was not trying to push things.. here was her response... comments and feedback is apreciated...

Im sorry if you are hurt about the whole new years thing. Believe me, that
is not my intention. I really am trying to work everything out. I've spent a
long time being hurt and angry at you (thats not to make you feel bad, that
is just the truth). I know that everything isnt your fault and I'm just as
much to blame and over the last year and half I getting better at it. But I
spent a good part of a year in deep despair (I don't want to say depressed
b/c I'm not sure that was it even though looking back I probably could have
used the drugs) and I felt like you didnt even notice or care. I've also
developed a major insecurity problem and I'm not sure how to shake that. I
really am trying. So it confuses me when you say that you love me or want to
be with me or that you want kids....all things you weren't interested in
before. I know you have changed and grown up some, but you have to see where
my confusion lies. I'm stubborn; Its hard for me to forget. I know I owe you
more of an answer but please don't press me today. What I just wrote was
very hard for me and I don't want to talk about it more today. I've kept a
lot of feeling and anxieties bottled up for the last couple of years. sorry.

what do you guys think? back off and give her more time or keep pushing

reddoorblack · 12-29-2005, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kalbc311

what do you guys think? back off and give her more time or keep pushing

Yes, back off. The only think you will be doing by pushing her is pushing her further away. When my bf broke up with me, I wrote him a long letter, pouring my heart out to him. I didn't receive any response from him so a week or so later I sent an email. I finally got a reply from him and it wasn't the answer I wanted to hear. I think it's a good sign that she replied to you so quickly. Give her some time. I know it's hard but give her space.

Destea · 12-29-2005, 02:00 PM

Back off for now, it sounds like she's let out as much as she can at the time being.

LostMyHeart · 12-29-2005, 02:17 PM

I think you are pushing the wrong issue is what the problem is.
If you know all she's gone thru, and her mixed up feelings she's still dealing with, why not try just simply being there for her. You'd be amazed at how much quicker she will come around.
Quit all this talk about getting back together.
Quit telling her you care - start SHOWING her. It's the little things that are gonna help you most.
Ask her what she is feeling so anxious/depressed about. Ask her what you can do for her. NOT what can you do to get her back, but what can you do to help her feel better, as that is what you most want for her.
Push to be there for her, not to get back together.

blueeyes05 · 12-29-2005, 02:22 PM

i agree with lost!!! be there for her!!! the more you show how you feel and the more you show her your not going anywhere and that you really have grown up and changed the eaiser it will be for her to forget her insecurities and know that you mean it!!!