It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-01-2006, 12:55 PM   #1
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 49
Jasminda HB User
Fiancee's father died......

Hey everyone,
My fiancee's dad was gravely ill since this past November. He passed on Tuesday the 27th. It's been a long difficult road for everone involved including my future mother in law and her three children. We spent every day in the ICU since he got sick. We live, eat and breathe his illness and now his passing. Christmas and New Year's have passed and I have neglected my own family and my work too. Now that he has passed the Hindu religion requires 13 days of mourning and praying every night. I feel like I am going crazy. I told my fiancee today that I was not going tonight and staying home to rest. His mother wants us to be at her side 24 hours a day. She calls our apartment and my fiancee runs out the door either with or without me. I am trying to be there for my fiancee but feel completely comsumed by this. I feel like I need a break. Am I a bad person? My fiancee and I are not even speaking now. Our relationship was not solid even before this crisis. We always fought a lot about his family. Please help.

 
Old 01-01-2006, 02:47 PM   #2
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 112
summertyme HB User
Re: Fiancee's father died......

This is a bad time in his family's life. As his FIANCEE, you are certainly not required to participate, but if you take your relationship seriously, you might want to take this seriously as well. By the way, are you Hindu as well?

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 01-01-2006, 02:53 PM   #3
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 49
Jasminda HB User
Re: Fiancee's father died......

no, i am catholic.

 
Old 01-01-2006, 04:54 PM   #4
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 112
summertyme HB User
Re: Fiancee's father died......

Well, if you hope to have a happy marriage with this man, you must sign on to his cultural beliefs. Hinduism is a far cry from Catholicism, and they do things VERY differently. A Hindu co-worker of mine took a whole month off work when his father died to return to India to settle his affairs and mourn with his family, so 13 days sounds not so bad. I also think that women in the Hindu culture are very dependent on their menfolk (husbands and sons), so your widowed mother-in-law will probably be looking to her son and family for care and attention in the future. If that is not something you are interested in, you might want to reconsider. When you marry a man, you marry his ENTIRE FAMILY, living and dead, and you better like each and every one of them!!!

 
Old 01-02-2006, 02:17 PM   #5
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 49
Jasminda HB User
Re: Fiancee's father died......

bumping for further posts.........

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
My father died a year ago, my mother just now. heatherton Grief & Loss 2 10-13-2009 05:35 AM
My father just died and I feeling so sad and confused. heatherton Grief & Loss 16 09-18-2008 04:48 AM
Need advice for father daughter relationship.. Michelle94 Relationship Health 6 05-27-2008 06:57 AM
Fiancee wants full custody of his 3 year old daughter Hazel_Eyes Relationship Health 27 03-03-2008 07:14 AM
Did my father visit me in a dream before he died?? tcoult Death & Dying 4 08-05-2005 11:03 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (273), rosequartz (255), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (159), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (102), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (856), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (670), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:34 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!