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Old 01-01-2006, 08:04 PM   #1
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Posts: 16
wednesdayblue HB User
Help!!

Im married to an *******. Thats to put it basically. To cut a long story short, i wasnt looking for love, but stumbled across it totally unknowingly, and in the most unexpected place. Anyway, i keep meeting this man, and now im helplessly in love with him. But, my life is very complicated. But i cant stand being here with my husband, all i think, live and breathe is this other man. Help me, i also have a child. I cant go on like this.

 
Old 01-01-2006, 08:18 PM   #2
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Hiya HB User
Re: Help!!

Can I ask what your financial situation is? Have you exhausted every means to try to salvage your marriage? I would say that's step one, try counceling if you havent' yet, do whatever you haven't tried yet to save the marriage. If it can't be saved, then get yoru financial feet under you, and think through ending the marriage, NOT in order to be with this other guy, but because the state of your marriage has left you no other choice.

 
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Old 01-01-2006, 10:37 PM   #3
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Location: The UK
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Nina000 HB User
Re: Help!!

Our emotions and feelings change, and it sounds that your husband is not treating you right from your description of him as an ********! I am sure that you have your reasons to fall in love with someone else, although you don't make them really clear here!
Having said that, for your own sake, you should try to get divorced before you take your other relationship further. Be more decent than he is and just tell him that you are fed up, you moved on to someone else who makes you so happy, and ask for divorce!
I don't know if I am oversimplifying the situation here, but it would be helpful if you provide us with more information.

 
Old 01-01-2006, 11:44 PM   #4
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,910
chevyman HB User
Re: Help!!

if you don't love your hubby...seek a divorce..then go to your new love..if your affraid he might be mean to you harm you or something get ya a restraining order from your couthouse in your city/county....a woman that don't love a man but stays in that relationship to me is not a real woman, it just makes it that much more difficult for your new man to do anything about it as long as your married.

Last edited by chevyman; 01-01-2006 at 11:48 PM.

 
Old 01-02-2006, 04:00 AM   #5
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 214
JennaLynnK HB User
Re: Help!!

I agree with the first poster... you need to make sure that your marriage is truly over before you do anything. Right now this guy is a fantasy and you don't really know him all that well, and hes probably playing a huge factor in how you view your marriage whether you know it or not. It happens to a lot of people these days, they build this perfect life with the perfect partner (the person they have so much in common with, and is so sweet and caring, their supposed soul mate) and eventually leave their current partner to be with the other person and things aren't as great as they thought they would be.

In my opinion, you need to completely eliminate all thoughts of this other guy for right now and focus on your marriage, all the good things and all the bad things, and if its right for you maybe you should try counseling together. After you have exhausted all your means to save your marriage and you still truly believe it cannot be saved then start taking steps to end it. Make a life for yourself before you move on though. So many people rush from one relationship to the next, and its not advisable. Most therapists would say you need at least a year being alone after a marriage is ended... before you get into a serious relationship.

Make sure you are doing this all for the right reasons, mr. right might not be all hes cracked up to be and by the time you realize that the person and the life you wanted was what you had it might already be too late for you.

Last edited by JennaLynnK; 01-02-2006 at 04:01 AM.

 
Old 01-02-2006, 05:16 AM   #6
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 151
muzicman66 HB User
Re: Help!!

Well said Jenna. There is a big difference between a guy who wants a married woman (why? That"s a whole other thread) and one who will take on the responsibility of being a partner to a woman who has a child.

 
Old 01-02-2006, 07:17 AM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 900
Music4All HB User
Re: Help!!

It looks from your other posts that you are having sex with this other man. I agree with others that you need to work on fixing or end your marriage before complicating your life with an affair. Having an affair that is found out could seriously double yoru problems and potentially impact your rights if a divorce is in the future.

 
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