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Old 01-03-2006, 07:27 AM   #1
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(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4
Tiaz HB User
Please some help will be much Appreciated

i really need some answers or ill go insane
this is a complicated problem..
i dont really even knoe where to begin and how to explain it msyelf : (
ok
ill try from the start Ive been with my bf for nearly 3 years the 1st maybe 6 months were perfect i mean sexuallly. we had no probems after that it was still ok he told me he looked at porn. and at the start i ahd no problem with it. but i started thinking why should i be ok with it when hes looking at other women and not showing me anything sexually?
anwyay so then i began to be different about it and my opinion was why should he rather that over me..
so i told him to please stop looking at it.
some days he didnt even feel liek me but the next day hell be telling me he got off from porn thats why i started getting very weird..
cos sometimes i would be rite there infront of him and he woulndt do anything sexual with me..
anyway then i started telling him he could only look at porn on certain days.. and then it got to a point were i said never.. and he prmised he wouldnt look but anyway then he broke down and told me he only stoped for a month and thats it. then he started telling me other things like impure thoughts about people we know. like even freinds of mine..
this came to a shock to me anyway from August 2005 he promised he woudlnt look at porn anymore and he didnt until today he said he couldnt hack it anymore he said he cant be that perfect for me and that no guy is.. he said he feels like his in a prison and im making things into to much of a big deal.
anyway recectlty he has been saying he really wants to look at other women and he feels like releasing himself through this. anwyay this has made me really upset . I just dont understand how someone could prefer porn or miss it so much? I dont get why it has to be a part of his life.. he said its cos im the only person hes seen for like 6 months and he jst feels like seeying other womens bodys??
i never knew stoping someone look at porn could have this affect he has lost control some days he said he cant handle the pressure and he gets all paniky and vomits and gets really depressed anyway.
he said maybe if he starts looking at porn again our Physical/ sexual side of our relationship might get better.now i am really confused.
anwyay so today i let him release himself from porn and now he feels a bit better.. but he thinks maybe it will be akward to do things together?
anyway but then he said on the other hand maybe looking at porn will make him differnt towards me and maybe we should try and do sexual things again
please tell me is this right should i when i next see him.. do sexual things with him? or shouldnt I?
isnt that like saying porn saved us? and if he hadnt looked then he coulndt perform with me?
I really dont get it? its confusing me too much and making me emotional and physically sick?
maybe if i continue doing sexual things with him its wrong? maybe i shoudlt put msyelf that low?
Im scared that maybe somthing is serious wrong maybe were trying to fix something that cant be fixed maybe were not meant to be togther maybe things arnt meant to be fixed? i really dont get it.
is it wrong if tomorrow we try to get involved sexually and it is possible does that mean the only reason were sexually satisfied again because he looked at the porn? please someone show me your viewpoints?

 
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Old 01-03-2006, 08:01 AM   #2
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(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 163
Aalyisha HB User
Re: Please some help will be much Appreciated

hi,

for a start i feel the same: if my bf is getting all of his sexual desires fulfilled by me why should he need to look at some hussies having sex? its a no-brainer for us women but a little more complicated for men..or not! for most men its just what they do-simple as that but unfortunatley it sounds like its a little more complicated and seems to come from some deep seeded problems...im sorry to say that his behaviour does not seem 'normal' to me. Maybe i am wrong but to me he seems to be acting seriousley strange. I mean he actually seems to be loosing control...and the 'reason' being that he cant look at porn???.......i dont think so! there is definatley something more going on there and you need to decide if you can stick by him while he works through his problems but i am telling you there is definatley something else..something that goes alot deeper than simply being able to look at porn going on here.

Just for example (and i know everyone is different) but my bf was looking at porn a few months ago and told me but i didnt mind because he was away from me working for a long time and i would prefer him looking at that than actually living out the acts with someone.. anyway when he came home he had a porn movie still andi was like 'your not looking at that now' and he was fine with that as he has me.
i actually broke it and threw it in the bin!

what i am saying is he wasnt having a panick atack or telling me he was imaginign sexual scenarios with my friends or that he couldnt make love to me....... see what i am trying to say here?

Want my advice hun?

*NO-DONT SLEEP WITH HIM
*SEND HIM TO COUNSELLING-IF HE WONT TALK PROPERLEY TO YOU ABOUT WHATS REALLY GOING ON WITH HIM
*YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY-JUST AS HE DOES SO MAYBE TAKE A BREAK AND SEE HOW YOU FEEL WITH OUT HIM....?

Sorry to be harsh but i had to say it.

Good luck! xxx

 
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