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Old 01-05-2006, 07:06 AM   #1
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: san jose, ca.
Posts: 82
TTBABM HB User
update and a question of reality

Hi all
A couple of years ago when my marraige hit the skids(13 yrs) , I found out my wife was having an affair . she also told me part of the reason why was that I was not capable of having an intimate relationship so she fell out of love with me .She is also going thru menapause and mid life. well since I went to counseling to turn my life around ...it has....and I have moved out. she tells me she is torn on what to do because of who i have become. I do still love her and she says she does not see the ex anymore (though she still talks to him ).

She has not asked me to move back in but does want to see me. The thing I want feedback from you guys on is this ....when a woman tells you she is not "in love" and is not physically attracted to you any more what is the reality of us getting back together even though she told this to me 2 years ago. is she fooling herself ...and me or what is really going on

 
Old 01-05-2006, 07:25 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 633
LostMyHeart HB User
Re: update and a question of reality

Personally, I think she is fooling herself. She sees you moving on and making a better life for yourself, and is probably taking it as a personal blow against herself. Now she's wants to prove she can still have you.

My vote would be to say no - I mean times got rough and she cheated. What's gonna happen when things get rough again --because they will, that's a fact of life. But IF you really want to give it another try, I would take things realll slooow and start all over again getting to know each other. Don't let her just drop in and say lets try again. Make her show over some period of time that she's willing to put the effort into proving she really wants you.

 
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