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Old 01-05-2006, 07:33 PM   #1
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Lazer-LXXVII HB User
I cant get connected with any other person, but one person. Please help.

Well, this is basically a regular teen issue, but i feel that i am more mature than most teenagers these days so its a little more serious to me. I honestly feel that i lack "true friends", i mean i have tons of friends, but with very few of them i can share my secrets with and come to when im feeling down. I can honestly say that i dont openly trust any of my personal friends, some more than others, and the ones i trust the most still dont get but 70% of my story. The people that i have been able to trust have pretty much backstabbed me, or i changed my mind and ended up not giving my full story either.

I feel kind of alone alot of the time, i have many friends at school, but i dont hang out with many of them outside of school. I have only had one girlfriend in my life, not that is my main problem, but it just shows something. I think im an alright looking guy, i think im very intelligent, but there is one thing that always makes girls stray away from me.

But i have found one person whom i feel a VERY strong connection with, but the problem is i have never met this girl in real life. She is an old friend of my ex-girlfriend (my only one), she moved here from California, and this girl lives all the way back in California. I have spoken to her many many times, but i actually began talking to her on AIM like a regular friend about 3-4 months ago. I had a really early case of pneumonia and i was out of school and work for a week and a half, and i wasnt able to see anyone during that time, i just sat around the house. I developed a little crush on her, and i told her about a month in, and she surprisingly told me she feels the same thing (and still does to this day). Then about a month ago i realized that its more than just a crush, its like a subconscious mental connection. I feel that its something special, because lets face it, as a teenager most relationships you have are hormone driven, but since i cant see Brittany (this girl im talking about) in person, i think it means much more than that. I trusted her with all of my secrets, which none of my real life friends even know about, and i know you might think this is because its an online friend, what harm can she do? But i cant even trust my other online friends, im just really secure about certain things because they mean alot to me. We might meet this summer when she comes here to visit her friend (my ex). I just feel extremely connected to her, and i dont know what to do because we are 3,000 miles apart. She hasnt been able to get online the past few days because she is grounded, and i must honestly say that i feel really hollow without her words before i go to sleep. Maybe im just overanalyzing things and making small things pointlessly serious. But i will admit i have never felt this before, despite the fact that i havent even met her.

Well, my question is how do i go about this? I mean, i put myself through some extremely depressed stages because i dont have any contact with her. How do i manage to control these feelings, because they hurt me deeply very often. I just dont want to lose her as a friend either way.

Thanks in advance.
-Pawel

 
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Old 01-07-2006, 09:45 PM   #2
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Re: I cant get connected with any other person, but one person. Please help.

Can anyone please help, this means alot to me.

 
Old 01-07-2006, 10:42 PM   #3
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Re: I cant get connected with any other person, but one person. Please help.

Hey dude, I'm sure it is hard for you but realize that both of you don't even know each other in person. You say you have a lot of friends in school so try to hang out with friends that you feel are true to this friendship with you. Be happy for what you have. Guess how many friends I have? Zero, that's right, nothing. It is a long complicated story but I do not have any, save for few friends that I do see very rarely. My life is extremetly hard as it is, so yeah I do kind of resent people who got things going (even though it is hard) because they don't realize what they have. Be in my shoes for a day and you'd be glad for what you have. As for this girl, well don't stress out too much over her as she might not be all that that you see online. Just try to go out, have fun, work out, play basketball, read books. That is what I do now these day to try to make myself feel better even though it really doesn't. I went through the same thing that you have twice, with two different girls and I can tell you that it never pan out and I wouldn't do it again no matter how strong her feeling may be for me until we meet and spend time with each other in person for few months before I open myself to her, not to mention holding these feeling and the need to see her. So we can't really help you much expect to trust your instict and see what happen. It may work, it may not work out. Just remember there will always be other girls to meet down the road, even though I doubt it could happen to me (for different reasons) but I just hold hope, after all, I'm still very young just like you are.

 
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