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Old 01-06-2006, 10:45 AM   #1
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spider37 HB User
Husband want's me to get out

here is my story i have been sick for five years now with several gastro problem's to many to list all of a sudden this morning my husband can't stand me anymore and decided that he need's to go out by himself tonight and he told me that i can get the f out if he think's he can't take anymore of me being sick how the hell does he think i feel any thought's on my situation would be helpfull

 
Old 01-06-2006, 11:43 AM   #2
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becca112 HB User
Re: Husband want's me to get out

Sorry that your in this type of situation. Someone who is suppose to love you no matter what bails. I guess my advice would to be 1st off STAY STRONG. I would have a sit down with my hubby and see exactly what is going on. There might be deeper issues than just you being sick. Maybe he just needs a breather? You can't help that your sick all of the time, it is part of life for some people. If talking doesn't work maybe you two can take a break from each other for a bit...unless there are children involved and then that would be kind of difficult. Not sure if any of this helps but good luck. I hope all things work out for you.

 
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:00 PM   #3
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Music4All HB User
Re: Husband want's me to get out

This is a sad situation. There must be quite a bit more than your health that has brought him to this level of anger. Can you help us know more about other issues that might be contributing?

 
Old 01-06-2006, 12:41 PM   #4
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reddoorblack HB User
Re: Husband want's me to get out

Any chance there's an affair going on?

 
Old 01-06-2006, 01:03 PM   #5
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Nina000 HB User
Re: Husband want's me to get out

Oh Spider ,I am sorry you are going through this!

Your husband is extremely inconsiderate and actually cruel to have said what he said. However, we all say stupid things that we don't mean? out of frustration and desperation. Is this the first time that he gets nasty to you, or is a pattern in his personality? Are there other issues putting you both or him under pressure?

I think it's very important that you don't take it to heart. Tell him how hurt you feel by his behaviour. I can't imagine that he really meant it. It can be a build-up of pressures inside him, although this is not an excuse to treat you like that!

 
Old 01-06-2006, 01:39 PM   #6
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spider37 HB User
Re: Husband want's me to get out

when i tell him he hurt me it doesn't affect him at all all is i know it seem's odd to me that it is a friday night he took 100 dollar's and now is gone out to a bar which he never does he allway's drink's at home when he does i really don't know if there is anyone else but my intution is telling me there is

 
Old 02-20-2006, 03:32 AM   #7
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nanna02 HB User
Re: Husband want's me to get out

hi there Spider

I know it's a while since you posted , one month or so, but I saw your letter and had to ask how you are doing now in case you read this ?.

I am in a similar situation as you and can understand your frustration and confused thinking . ;

I have a bad disability too, , have had it 6 yrs now , it has caused a huge strain on our marriage of 34yrs ,

I have been the one trying to hold it all together ,talking it out , speaking to a councellor , but he doesn't want to try ;
he doesn't seem to see there is a problem ;

Every day goes by , he just drifts , works , talks to his friends , goes for walks with his dogs for an hour every night , has his weekend hobby every Saturday without fail which I can't be included in whatsoever due to my disability ,..

I am left on my own completely all day , so I only get outings for a meal 1/ week , or to town 1/week, when he's in the mood .. if not , there's a big argument to try and make me feel guilty for asking to go.

I have very few friends who can visit , only telephone ones to talk to , due to where we live ,..my computer is my outlet to the World , so it's a real 'Friend !!'

He won't move house 'cos it's his " paradise " , never mind that I can't even get down the steep pathway to my letterbox for my mail , in my wheelchair !..
Other people are astounded we still live here , with me 3years in this wheelchair bound situation , but he just laughs and says " We'll be ok , till I can't push her up the path anymore !"

He's so selfish at times , snarly and moody and so rude , gets into terrible tantrums in front of other people , out in public , doesn't care who sees him; or how embarrassed he makes me feel!.. yet just at times he can be nice and friendly to people to look good , a real Jeckyll & Hyde!..

I am often considering leaving him, I know I would manage with Govt. help , then all of a sudden he seems to change for a while , he can be nice , and I think ,

" maybe he's going to try and be the loving husband/ personality I want " and give him a chance ,

then all of a sudden , it changes , and he goes back to the nasty attitude again, with his bad temper ,..

something just triggers him off..

I'm so sick of always having to be 'on Guard , never knowing if what I do or say is going to cause him to explode !

later , he apologises if I bring it up to his face , but if I don't say anything , he'll just not mention it , thinking he's got off with hurting me .

Oh , yes , there have been a few 'strange incidents of 'possible' women ' maybe lurking in the background , but that is only my suspicious thinking I guess , I have no proof .

So , I am interested to know if You did get out as he asked you to do ?
what have you done , Spider since you last posted ?..

What do you suggest I do , what would You do ?..

I'd love to read anyones' opinions ? suggestions ?
thanks Nanna02
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