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Old 01-06-2006, 05:51 PM   #1
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idared04 HB User
Best friend and Boyfriend dont like each other! Need Advice

My best friend and I have been friends for like 10 years and we were so close almost like sisters! lol When we were not together people would ask were my "partner in crime" was? Anyway after we graduated from high school she became a very very very religious person! Totally changed who she was because she needed "to find herself!" Which is not a bad thing, if thats what she wants to do than fine, I'll support her 100% but we do not talk as much anymore because I do not want to be associated with the people at her church. In my opinion they are hypocrites and true Christians do not judge people. I am very content about the person I have become.
Anyway, my boyfriend seems to get bothered by some of her Godly comments and the reason for this is because he was raised in a very religious family as a witness. He is no longer a religious person and he does not like to be told what to believe in. My best friend and boyfriend dont talk, but when they do an out burst always seems to occur about religion! I feel like i am caught in the middle and it really sucks! I love both of them and I'm not ready to lose one or the other over this! How can I talk to them about how I feel! I dont want to be disrespectful to either of them! Need advice thanks!

 
Old 01-06-2006, 06:17 PM   #2
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GypsyArcher HB User
Re: Best friend and Boyfriend dont like each other! Need Advice

Wow, that sucks about your friend. It sounds like she is more involved with some kind of religious cult. People can be spiritual and find (their version of) god without alienating those around them.

I can see why your boyfriend is upset. But do the three of you hang out a lot or something? My best friend doesn't live near me, but if she did I couldn't imagine hanging out with her and my fiance at the same time. (Mostly because with her I am always making fun or complaining about my fiance, which would probably be rude to do to his face). I would just try to keep the two of them separate.

Aside from that, I would tell your boyfriend that regardless of what he thinks of your friend's religious delusions, she is YOUR friend and you do not want him getting into any arguements with her. And if he doesn't listen, then later for him, because you don't want a guy who doesn't listen to you. And as for your friend, tell her that you are happy she has found happiness, but you would appreciate she not argue religion with other people. It's tacky.

 
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Old 01-06-2006, 07:20 PM   #3
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idared04 HB User
Re: Best friend and Boyfriend dont like each other! Need Advice

No we all do not hang out at the same time! I dont know how to explain it, it's weird because WE have to watch what we say around her and her boyfriend!! I wouldnt want my boyfriend to feel like he has to act like someone he's not! My friend and I go to the same college but rarely even see each other due to our schedules! ha ha ha and I think its great that you can talk to your best friend about your fiance! See i cant say anything about my boyfriend with out her comparing and/or judging! Thank you for the advice I really appreciate it!

 
Old 01-06-2006, 07:41 PM   #4
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goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
Re: Best friend and Boyfriend dont like each other! Need Advice

I think that you should ask both your boyfriend and best freind to refrain from religious discussions when together, that you realize that they both differ on their beliefs but that you expect them to be respectful of one another and their particular beliefs.

You can even bring up with your best friend that even though you do not share her particular beliefs you still consider her to be your best friend and since you are able to do so, that she should be able to accept your boyfriend on the same terms. That should help alleviate some problems in the future.

Good luck ~ Goody

 
Old 01-09-2006, 08:23 AM   #5
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Aalyisha HB User
Re: Best friend and Boyfriend dont like each other! Need Advice

ok i think what you have to do is sit them down seperatley (for the time being anway) and expalin to them that you love them both but there arguing is getting too much and you cant take anymore and that it really upsets you that they fight the way they do. ask them each to just forget about the other persons belifs etc and to just see them as a person,and yes they may never be best buddys but could they not at least be civil to each other just to keep the peace.

maybe even say that you understand that there seperate belifs are extreemley important to them but could they not just accecpt that they both belive in different things and might not have alot in common except one thing-YOU! So for your sake just keep things civil and to help do that not discuss religion in each others presence seeing as that is what starts the arguments...you never know if you could get them to do that they might even start to like each other!!!

Although that second thought might not be an ideal one to jump right in with!

 
Old 01-09-2006, 02:01 PM   #6
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phoenixgal77 HB User
Re: Best friend and Boyfriend dont like each other! Need Advice

Well, this may sound odd and different advice to you...but I think your best friend and boyfriend actually like eachother. This is my opinion. My best friend became very jealous of my relationship with my man and convinced me that my man was bad and to leave him and move in with her. She did not want to see me happy. I hope your best friend is not like this. Just be sooo careful when you get the two of them together.

 
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