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Old 01-09-2006, 09:31 AM   #1
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Jasminda HB User
Another In Law Related Post

Hey all,
My fiancee and I have been together for about 11.5 years. I love him dearly but there is a lot of angst in this relationship regarding his family. There are a lot of arguments regarding how much time should be spent with them. He wants more and I want less. Fights of this nature have gone on for a few years.
His dad just passed away. He has 2 older sisters who are married and his mom. I wonder if anyone might lend me some insight into what the furture will hold for this relationship. I already felt that I took a backseat to his family. Will this make it even worse? It just feels like my fiancee has two women in his life and I am so tired of fighting about it all the time!
Sometimes I think it would be easier on me if I just ended this relationship already.

 
Old 01-09-2006, 11:04 AM   #2
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summertyme HB User
Re: Another In Law Related Post

Are you his permanent fiance or is this relationship expected to end in marriage at some point? After 11.5 years of being engaged, you should probably already be pretty familar with things and see clearly what the future holds.

 
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Old 01-09-2006, 11:10 AM   #3
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Re: Another In Law Related Post

The old axion is simple and true: what you see is what you get. You are well informed by this point to know what awaits you based on the various choices you can make. The situation with your bf is likely how it will remain. If that is not how you want to live your married life, moving on before another 11 years passes may be a good idea.

 
Old 01-09-2006, 04:42 PM   #4
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Re: Another In Law Related Post

LOL summertyme, I am not a "permanent fiancee." We met when I was 18 and I am 29 now. Been engaged for approx 2 years. I just wish there was a better compromise to this issue. I was thinking of suggesting we should see a counselor. I am wondering if that would help us create boundaries and reach resolution on these issues.

 
Old 01-09-2006, 05:09 PM   #5
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summertyme HB User
Re: Another In Law Related Post

I wouldn't spend any more time with this guy. If you have been together for 11 years and are not married yet, it doesn't look too good. Since he is really into his family, you should also be really into his family if you want a happy life together, because that won't change after you are married. Just because you get a ring on your finger doesn't mean everything magically changes to the way you want it to be. The good stuff stays pretty much the same, but the bad stuff gets so, so much worse and more annoying.

 
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