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Old 01-09-2006, 11:57 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 6
loveriot HB User
boyfriend issue, help girls!

alright, so i've been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now.
we've had some rocky times, but we both know where we stand with
eachother.
we're both in love, and have a steady relationship.
he's at a point in his life where he is trying to get his life sorted out, he's 22, and he is looking for a job, he lives with his friends parents, and needs to move out, and he feels the need to help out a lot where he is living.
though he may not spend his time doing a lot of things, i know that his life is stressful, and he is the type to be easily frustrated.
i'm 18 and still live with my parents, and i'm pretty content with life, andi don't have many stresses or problems.

so now that you know the basic stuff..heres the problem
he's not the "talking on the phone" type, you know.
but since we don't get to see eachother more than once or twice a week, i like to talk to him when i can.
but a lot of the time, when i call him, he just seems so stand off-ish, and just the way he talks and his whole attitude in general makes me upset, because it makes me feel like i did something wrong, or it comes off as him being a jerk.
and when i talk to him about it, he tells me that he's sorry and i shouldn't feel that way..and that he'll try harder not to do it.
but it always happens. and it upsets me.
and also, i tell him that he needs to do more little things to make me feel loved and cared for.
girls, you know..the little things, like telling me i'm beautiful out of the blue, or calling me just to say i miss you, or telling me how much i mean to him, things like that.
because i have some issues from past problems we've had, and a lot of the time i get paranoid that he's going to change his feelings about me, and that im going to get heartbroken. becase once that did happen, but then we spent time together and he told me that he realized that he really was in love with me and wanted to be with me more than anything. i guess i'm just the kind of girl that needs to feel that security in a relationship, and know that he loves me as much as i love him.
imean he does things like that sometimes, but not nearly as much as it seems he should, or atleast i'd like.
and i tell him that if he would just do those things more often, i wouldn't get paranoid, and i wouldn't feel upset as much as i do, but then he doesn't do anything about it?
so am i over reacting? what should i do about the situation?

 
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Old 01-10-2006, 03:41 AM   #2
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 163
Aalyisha HB User
Re: boyfriend issue, help girls!

hi,

I feel bad for you because i know how you feel, although i love my bf very much and i know he loves me and he tells me he does sometimes thats just not enough, so you ever feel as though what you are saying is being made to sound un-reasonable by making these requests....well i do! ist not that he would give out to me for asking but when i do it feels like i am naggin him when in actual fact i am just asking for that little bit extra to make me feel loved, i would say you understand what i am talking about?

anyway i think you have done all you can do, you have said it to him,by the sounds of it,countless times so short of forcing him to say/do these things theres nothing you can do...sad isnt it ?

but if you are anything like me in your way if thinking,which you seem to be,then you wont want him to say/do these things because you are forcing him,you will want him to say them by himself ,that way they are his own words and you know he means it as you havent practically force-fed them to him..

Well anway the only solution i came up with was to either just take things as they came, eg:* if i loved him enough to stay with him, even though i wasnt getting everything i wanted or because i wasnt getting everything i needed and wanted from him emotionally then end it....

as i said i think they are the only 2 choices.....

Feel free to reply and chat

 
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