Spider ~ Yes, you are young and if you are able to you need to get out more and meet others. Seems to me that not having any friends or family to depend upon only makes matters worse. I know you said that you have some GI problems but how limited are you?? Are you able to drive and get out a little bit???
I have had chronic back problems and know that when I do not get out things are far worse. You must have some good days that you can get out and meet others in your community.
I hope I do not offend you too much with what I am about to say...but I think that the best resolution to this all may be to show your husband in some way that you do not see him as your only source of happiness or support. To expect one person to be all of that is far too overwhelming and may be the source of the problem. He cannot be the one to be responsible for all your happiness in life....you have to seek it out yourself.
If you were to get out and show your husband that you can do some
things on your own and find support and happiness outside of him alone I think that this would be the beginning to perhaps mending things. You must have some interests or somethings you can do around your GI problems.....I know with my back prblems I am limited but I find that if I do things I am able to do I am so much happier and so is my relationship with my husband.
Perhaps it is too far gone, only you can tell, but illness certainly places alot of strain on a relationship especially when the other is known to be depressed. You MUST somehow find some other form of support and outlet other than your husband...he is telling you by his actions that he has had enough and needs for you to come up with some relief. He is only one person and so are you.....if he sees you doing what you can do to help the situation he will feel relieved and perhaps not want to get away from it all.
Your husband's actions and words are saying that he has had enough!!! 5 years of being the only one to take care of one's physical, emotional, and overall needs is alot without some type of relief or respite. His staying at his friends is a desperate thing to do...I recall when I had one of those moments as a sleep deprived mom taking care of my chronically ill daughter. I will never forget the day I walked my infant daughter & 3 year old daughter out to my husband on his rider mower...handed them off to him with a list of how to take care of them and told him I would be at the Holiday Inn a mile away. I checked in and slept for 16 hours straight and although a desperate act on my part, it was the best thing I could do for my family and myself. I am almost afraid what would have happened if I hadn't done so.
Too much dependence on another could really drive them away. I am sorry that you have no friends or family to take the pressure off but you need to do something......because the way it stands your husband isn't able to do it anymore and you are going to have to find another means of doing it anyway.
Pick up the phone and call for some help. I suggested social services.....you need to be proactive in this situation, other wise it will only get worse.
(((HUGS))) and plenty more for you ~ Goody