This isn't about a problem I have but just something I've been thinking as I read some of these posts and think about my past relationships. Since the internet and cell phones have become so commonplace, it seems like people in relationships have a lot more ability to keep separate, private lives from each other.
In the house I grew up in, you'd always have the possibility of knowing who's calling if you answer the phone and who's writing if you get the mail. When I moved in with a boyfriend about 7 years ago, we had a land line, one cellphone that we both took turns using depending on who was out, and we used his e-mail account to dial up to the internet. We always assumed the other might overhear a phone call or see each other's e-mail. It was no big deal. I didn't usually read his e-mail, but I didn't feel like I wasn't allowed to. And we both always knew who was calling or who is being called.
Now it's standard to have separate cell phones, separate e-mail accounts, etc and often considered a privacy violation to look at those. I know privacy is a personal preference, but I'm curious how many think that e-mail and cell phones should be kept separate and private when in a married/live-in relationship?
You make a very interesting points! I've thought about this a few times myself, there's probably a much larger amount of untamed curiosity in relationships these days as a result of all of the different ways we can keep to ourselves now. I wonder how much easier (and in some cases, harder) affairs are for people, hiding calls under friends names, secret emails... who really knows right?
This definitely makes you think... my boyfriend and I each have separate cell phones, and email accounts - but we share a land line and our email boxes are on the same laptop and we both don't use passwords... hm.
I wonder how much easier (and in some cases, harder) affairs are for people, hiding calls under friends names, secret emails... who really knows right.
Exactly! On one hand, you have this separate little world, but on the other hand there's a much more detailed paper trail if someone decides to make the effort to find out. I was just thinking about it because so many posts start with a guilty confession of reading a husband's/boyfriend's/wife's/girlfriend's email or cell phone record, yet at one time, this kind of information (about who is writing or calling) was easily accessible to anyone who lived in the same house.
I probably just posted the newest in a series of "I read e-mail, etc." type problems. I always thought that privacy was a good thing but that with time it breaks down as the bond of a relationship grows. I used to view it as the keys to an apartment. Once you exchange it's like trust is gained. It's those steps that lead to being able to live together or try to remain a couple for any long period of time.
Not to mention how easy it is now to browse personals online and no one know. Heck, there are even websites that cater to the descreet interlude. Technology has in some ways ruined the typical relationship. It is so easy now to snoop, but yet it is also so easy to be a cheater and no one know.
