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Old 01-12-2006, 09:28 AM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 81
richdaws1984 HB User
Thinking to much...

Hey,

Does anyone ever feel like they cant be bothered to talk to there girlfriend?

Iíve met this girl 3 months ago. We donít live in the same place so we only get to see each other at the weekend for a day.

Sometimes I feel like I really love her and that all I want to do is be with her. When I look into her eyes it feels so good. But then other times, I just canít be bothered with her. We talk on the phone every night and text each other all the time. Its just sometimes I feel like cant be bothered to speak to her.

Sheís got lots of male friends and I get soooo jealous of her. Because I donít get to see as much as I want, its like I feel the need to impress her all the time. When we are on the phone I feel like Iíve got to keep her interested in me and thatís why sometimes I canít be bothered. (Sheís gorgeous by the way and attracts loads of attention)

I really do think I am falling for this girl and I know she feels the same about me.

Ive not really had many girlfriends and sometimes I get this gut feeling that Iím never going to find the right girl. I feel like I cant let people get close to me. I always worry that girlfriends are seeing other people or are going off me or something. How can I change the way I think and live for the moment.

When im with this girl at the minuteÖ.i feel a bit upset that its only going to be for a day and so the time spent with her is wasted!

I drive girls away because Iím stupid like this!!

I really like this girl but I want her to be all mine. I donít want other people to be near her. Thatís sounds stupid and selfishÖ.believe meÖI know thatÖ..but I cant stop it.

 
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Old 01-12-2006, 10:42 AM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: The UK
Posts: 1,315
Nina000 HB User
Re: Thinking to much...

I think that you are translating your insecurities into indifference, but you are obviously interested enough to come to these boards and ask for advice.
Distance doesn't help you much to figure out how much you are in love with her. You might be only missing her.
I am not sure if she is making you feel less self-confident or whether it is only in your mind. Let me ask you first, why can't you see each other more frequently?
There is nothing wrong in her having male friends and it is not really her mistake that you don't have female friends.
At the very least, try not to show her your jealousy,this is my advice.

Last edited by Nina000; 01-12-2006 at 01:58 PM.

 
Old 01-12-2006, 01:34 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,566
Hiya HB User
Re: Thinking to much...

First of all, not to freak you out too much, but I really do believe in women's intuition. How many women do you know who would be won over, fall head over heels in love with a man who sometimes feels like he "just doesn't want to be bothered" with her? She may "smell" that on you, or pick up a vague sense that sometimes you just don't want to talk with her or be around her, and she will sense that something is off. I think the first step you need to take is to stop seeing her as a project, as something you're trying to obtain or snare, and start seeing her as a fellow human being you want to get to know better. You say how great she is, but you didn't say much about her other than she's gorgeous, then you say how you will never find the right one for you. Is this girl not the right one for you? If you know she's not, why ARE you bothering with her? Just because she's beautiful? I think the first thing you have to do is clear up exactly who you are and what you have to offer simply by being yourself, and are YOU satisfied with that? When the answer is yes, then you won't feel like you have to stand on your head while twirling plates and whistling dixie just to keep a girl interested. Then be clear about what kind of girl you want and why, and when the answer to that question is in keeping with compatibility, kindess, mutual respect and less in keeping with "she's a total hot babe!" then you'll be well on your way to setting up circumstances conducive to the right woman coming into your life. And as far and the possessive, controling thing about not wanting other people around your girl, that's the trouble with dating a really beautiful woman. Men will never leave her alone, so you have to be extra sure and secure in your feelings for her, and your trust in her, and her feelings for you.

 
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