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Old 01-14-2006, 10:14 PM   #1
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sherbear88 HB User
...Confused..

Hi2all, new here...

have been really frustrated with the situation that I'm having with my boyfriend recently. I'm 17, he's 19. We've been dating for about 4mths now... everything was going great...and still is. I've been having some issues with him alot recently though. He is bipolar...so his moods change alot. Often times, he gets mad at me...for no apparent reason, or even if there is a reason...he takes things way too serious. He talks really negative about himself. Sometimes says " I have the sudden urge to cut myself... I hate my life...I wanna die..." and like it would affect anyone else, it's affecting me. His parents know he is bipolar...he's on medication.

However, I think it's affecting our relationship. Sometimes, he acts like everything is cool with us..and at other times, he'll seem unhappy. I sometimes, don't know, if he'd be this way if I wasn't in the picture. I've just worried alot about him...I want him to be happy. I know he wants the same for me. Over the last two weeks, he broke up with me twice...and each time called me back saying he was sorry...he didn't mean it.. Weird thing is, he says...he didn't have a reason for it, he just did it. Sooooo...I don't know what to think. I mean, I've talked to him countless times...and he does try to reassure me. And yesterday...I spent the whole night with him...and it's always great, I feel really happy when I am with him...I couldn't have a care in the world. And he was really happy too...I could tell.

I know that other things are contributing to when he feels down and stuff, and yeah, there have a been a few little arguements over silly things...but we get over it and it's fine. I just want to know...if anyone else has been in a relationship like this, where they have to be on guard alot...because you'll never know when something will trigger their down...

Thanks for reading... I know I rambled alot. But, if anyone is going through something similar...or has before. I just want to know...if you think it's something that we should stop the relationship for? I feel like I can handle it, and be there for him...because things are so great when nothing is wrong.

 
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Old 01-14-2006, 11:47 PM   #2
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bluegreeneyeguy HB User
Re: ...Confused..

Bipolar is a serious mental disease. You may want to reconsider whether you wish to remain in a relationship with a man who"s behavior will have it"s ups and downs for years to come. You are young and so is he. The immaturity he will show by his age will be multiplied by this disease.

 
Old 01-15-2006, 12:33 AM   #3
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Hiya HB User
Re: ...Confused..

Quote:
Originally Posted by bluegreeneyeguy
Bipolar is a serious mental disease. You may want to reconsider whether you wish to remain in a relationship with a man who"s behavior will have it"s ups and downs for years to come. You are young and so is he. The immaturity he will show by his age will be multiplied by this disease.
Well, this is a good point, but on the flip side, not to put too fine a point on it, crazy people need love too! I think this guy is very very lucky to get to be loved even though his behavior can be erratic, tiring and maybe eve borderline abusive at times. I've never been diagnosed with any kind of mental illness at all, just shyness, and have never for one minute ever been loved by anyone, so I'm envious of this guy. But I think the key here is to work together. As long as he acknowledges his problem and continues treatment for it and you both keep the communication lines open, who knows? Stranger things have happened than having a full, loving, mostly positive relationship with someone who is bipolar.

 
Old 01-15-2006, 01:40 AM   #4
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sherbear88 HB User
Re: ...Confused..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hiya
Well, this is a good point, but on the flip side, not to put too fine a point on it, crazy people need love too! I think this guy is very very lucky to get to be loved even though his behavior can be erratic, tiring and maybe eve borderline abusive at times. I've never been diagnosed with any kind of mental illness at all, just shyness, and have never for one minute ever been loved by anyone, so I'm envious of this guy. But I think the key here is to work together. As long as he acknowledges his problem and continues treatment for it and you both keep the communication lines open, who knows? Stranger things have happened than having a full, loving, mostly positive relationship with someone who is bipolar.
I agree with both opinions...lol werd crazy ppl do need love too .. I think the way to keep this working is ultimately keeping communication open. We're both young...and still have much to learn

 
Old 01-15-2006, 12:53 PM   #5
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bluegreeneyeguy HB User
Re: ...Confused..

One should get as much love as one gives. Being a mortar will not get you further in life. It could hold you back.

 
Old 01-15-2006, 01:07 PM   #6
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: ...Confused..

I hope that you'll visit the Bipolar Disorder board. There are alot of folks there, who are bipolar themselves or who are married/dating a person with bipolar disorder.

That said, I have bipolar disorder. Anyone who attempted to date me from the ages of 13 - 30 was in for an extremely stressful relationship.
Medication is key for him.
Education is very important for YOU.

A bipolar person's moods and behaviors are SYMPTOMS of their illness, just like a wacky blood sugar is a symptom of diabetics.

The thing is, you have to have skin that is Teflon, and about 3 inches thick to survive life loving someone who is bipolar. I don't know many 17 yr olds who can do that. I am NOT saying that you don't love him - only that loving him alot will only cause more pain for you while dealing with his illness.

If he is properly medicated (I finally was at age 30) you stand a fighting chance - but it doesn't sound like he is...
Yes, he deserves love just as much as I did when I was younger. But none of my relationships were good ones then because I was not healthy mentally or emotionally because of the chemical imbalance in my brain.

Its a rollercoaster - think long and hard about this - and do visit us over on the Bipolar board - they are like a family there also.
Ruth

 
Old 01-15-2006, 01:11 PM   #7
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bluegreeneyeguy HB User
Re: ...Confused..

Well said. The posts I have wrote are based on their age. She may go thru h*** with him. Then find later, when he matures, he gives someone else the type of love he can"t give anyone now. She may regret it.

 
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