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Old 01-15-2006, 03:24 PM   #1
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Ruby13 HB User
problem with friend and fiance

Hi everyone-

I just got engaged a couple weeks ago, and I'm completely thrilled. The only glitch in my glee is that one of my long-time friends basically said she was "bewildered" that I was doing this. On one hand, I understand her point of view. She's only met my fiance twice since she lives further away than most friends. The first time was fine. The second time we were out at a bar for a holiday and both he and her boyfriend had too much to drink and got into a very stupid verbal argument, the kind that only happens when drunk (e.g. over absolutely nothing). Both the guys were embarrassed and apologized the next day, so I thought we'd all moved past it. She's also been married and divorced and has seen the bad side of marriage.

On the other hand, I'm kind of hurt and annoyed. I've told her all the way along we were talking about it and said many good things about him. I also told her, after that first exchange which was really just through voicemails and then e-mail, that I'd love to talk to her more about it and see why she's having a hard time. She hasn't returned any calls or e-mails in a while.

I don't really understand her behavior. Everyone who has spent time around my fiance and I as a couple have been really supportive of this engagement. No one else has been surprised at all. I can understand that her impression of him is different, but I can't understand why she would react so strongly to a personal decision that I'm making. I feel like she's mad or taking it personally that I would choose someone she doesn't approve of.

I guess I'm just looking for others' perspectives on this. I never fight with my friends, so I don't really know what to make of it.

Last edited by Ruby13; 01-15-2006 at 03:26 PM.

 
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Old 01-15-2006, 06:36 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2003
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SophiaM HB User
Re: problem with friend and fiance

The only thing that comes to my mind is that your friend might be jealous deep down because she would want to be engaged also. I might be way off, but her strong reaction is just too strange, especially that you told her many good things about your fiance. I think that despite the fact her first marriage was bad, she probably wants to experience a good one, and now you have a chance at that while she doesn't. She'll get used to the idea of you getting married--just give her time.

 
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