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gymgirl · 01-18-2006, 10:15 AM

I need advise on dealing with someone who lies to make themselves feel and look better to others. I'm dealing with someone who has lied about several things that invlove a family member of mine. He is completely devasted by her actions. She has told so many lies. I don't think she even can keep them straight. He is younger than her, which she knew before getting involved with him. She has turned that against him. Stating that he is immature. When it is her that is immature about relationships - they are not just about sex - you can have a relationship based on love and respect for each other. She even went as far as accusing him of coming to house to have sex with her - when it has been her who is the aggressive one. She has even taken his first kiss from him. She has also accused him of accusing her of cheating during the relationship. You have to understand this is his first relationship and all he was looking for was someone to have fun with. This girl is a physco!

She has stated he just doesn't get the picture but it's her that keeps writing things about him - using him as an example for her problems. This girl hates her co-workers, talks with her hands as hand puppets, pulls her hair out when she can't handle life, stand in the shower acting out her day that she just had - do to anger. She has made ugly comments about my parents - whom she sidn't really know (coming from someone who knows them- they are wonderful people who would give you the shirt off their backs - if they thought you need the help) for this I completely dislike the girl

. She stated that at one time she was on medication for depression and has stopped - but from her behavior we think that maybe she needs to be put back on it. This girl has lied at school about his behavior towards her - it is her that is acting like a immature little brat!

. Need your advise on how we make this physco leave him alone - Or how we get my brother pass this! For this girl is truly no one he needs to be involved with. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

Ruth6:11 · 01-18-2006, 01:55 PM

If he's under 18 you can tell your parents.
If he's over 18 he's on that path to independence where you can say what you want to say - but he's still going to have to make his own mistakes and learn from them.

Sorry, but I don't think I've ever heard where family intervening in a love relationship has ever ended up particularly well.

GypsyArcher · 01-18-2006, 03:46 PM

Some people, especially when they are younger, actually feed on dramatic, stormy, crazy relationships. If he is stressed out and upset about how she is acting, yet doesn't want to break it off, then he must be getting something out of all this. Maybe on some level he enjoys all of the excitement and drama. I had an ex-boyfriend who's ex was just as nutty as a nut can be, sounding a lot like the girl you describe. My ex would tell me all about her, and I thought he was happier with me because I was calm and peaceful. Then reality was that he thought our relationship was dull because I wasn't regulary flying into rages, calling him at all hours, stabbing him etc.
For some people, any attention they get in a relationship is good, even negative attention.

You can't learn someone else's lessons for them. Either your brother will see the light one day, or else he just has a thing for bat-***** crazy women. He might have a lot of issues himself, if he wants to be with someone like this. If he's still in high school then your parents can forbid him from seeing her.

Quote:

stand in the shower acting out her day that she just had - do to anger

Just out of curiosity, how do you know what this girl does in the shower? I talk out loud to myself in the shower, hope that's not too odd.

gymgirl · 01-18-2006, 04:13 PM

My brother isn't seeing this girl anymore, but she just want let it go

As far as the shower goes she loves to talk to people from behind her computer. She has told alot of people about herself. I feel as his sister I'm justing trying to help with advise from others and on how to deal with someone like this.

I wouldn't know I have been married for 18 years

That's why I' m here - Thanks for your response

GypsyArcher · 01-18-2006, 05:14 PM

Oh, okay, I didn't realize they weren't still together. Well, that is a start. Your brother is just going to have to do his very best to ignore her. It sounds like she is an compulsive attention-seeker. I can't stand those people who are constantly babbling about every single little thing they do as if everyone cares. They don't. Any way, really that is all your brother can do, just keep ignoring her and hope she finds another poor soul to inflict herself upon.

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