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Old 01-18-2006, 11:00 AM   #1
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Emilysmommie05 HB User
Need male input here please!!

I am going to make this as simple as possible to understand. My boyfriend does not want me to see my best friend anymore because of her boyfriend, because i dated him when i was 16. Then when i was mad at him i told him that i had sex with my friends BF. ( i didn't say i cheated on him i said i had sex with him before i met my boyfriend. Just to make him jealous i mean i was 16. Then after we broke up 2 months ago i told him i did not have sex with him that i was being dumb and made it up. Now i am 22 years old and he still cannot get over this and plus i did not even have sex with him, my past sex life is so important to him and he makes me feel bad over it, like i was dead before i met him, so i did not have sex with my friends BF it was all a lie and he still says the only way he will get back with me is if i stop talking to my best friend. Would any of you men feel this way about your girlfriend or would you forgive her for her dumb lie and let her keep her friend? He ended the relationship over me not stopping being friends with her by the way. Help!!

 
Old 01-18-2006, 01:40 PM   #2
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artful HB User
Re: Need male input here please!!

Ok, if he is going to be that inflexible and stay broke up after this you are probably better off without him! Jealousy is a horrible emmotion that can eat at both of you and make you both miserable for a long time. If he can't get over the fact that you dated guys before him then he has the problem. The fact is anyone he meets is going to have had previous relationships and he is going to have to deal with that. He sounds very insecure and very immature. You may want to tell him that you have no intentions of cheating on him and that you have no intentions of ending your friendship with your friend over this. Also tell him that if can't deal with that then you don't want to be with him. Good luck you deserve better treatment...

 
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Old 01-18-2006, 05:10 PM   #3
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GypsyArcher HB User
Re: Need male input here please!!

Babe, why do you keep asking this over and over? You don't need to get male input, it has already been established that your (ex?) boyfriend is controlling and manipulative. I know you don't want to hear it, but it is true. There is no excuse for him telling you to stop seeing your friend. He is jealous and painfully insecure and cannot handle knowing you are in the presence of another man. There is no way around it hon...this guy is bad new.

 
Old 01-19-2006, 10:57 AM   #4
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kalbc311 HB User
Re: Need male input here please!!

I hate to say it but usually that "little thing" that ends a relationship is just the tip of a hidden iceberg. If he really loved you it is doubtfull something trivial like that would stop him from being with you. It is just the "out" he is using. I mean no disrespect when i say this but also the "dumb lie" you told would really turn me off if i was in a relationship with you because it was so unnescesary and just doesnt make a whole lot of sense.

 
Old 01-19-2006, 04:53 PM   #5
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Emilysmommie05 HB User
Re: Need male input here please!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by kalbc311
I hate to say it but usually that "little thing" that ends a relationship is just the tip of a hidden iceberg. If he really loved you it is doubtfull something trivial like that would stop him from being with you. It is just the "out" he is using. I mean no disrespect when i say this but also the "dumb lie" you told would really turn me off if i was in a relationship with you because it was so unnescesary and just doesnt make a whole lot of sense.
The only reason i lied was because his ex was always hanging around because she was friends with his cousin and she was always flirting with him and it was making me jealous and he did not seem to care so i wanted him to feel the way i did, i know it was dumb but i was only 16!! I didn't think it would blow up into this whole big thing, i regret it but i still don't think it should end a relationship and then for him to tell me who my friends can be? It makes me mad, i do love him i smile ever time i see him, but i just don't think he is right in the head! He dosen't seem to understand how bad it would hurt to lose my best friend and he does not seem to care.

 
Old 01-20-2006, 08:23 AM   #6
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Hiya HB User
Re: Need male input here please!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emilysmommie05
The only reason i lied was because his ex was always hanging around because she was friends with his cousin and she was always flirting with him and it was making me jealous and he did not seem to care so i wanted him to feel the way i did, i know it was dumb but i was only 16!! I didn't think it would blow up into this whole big thing, i regret it but i still don't think it should end a relationship and then for him to tell me who my friends can be? It makes me mad, i do love him i smile ever time i see him, but i just don't think he is right in the head! He dosen't seem to understand how bad it would hurt to lose my best friend and he does not seem to care.
Have you ever even considered the possibility that maybe, if he allows his ex girlfriend to flirt with him right in front of you, and not care about how you feel about it, and makes unrealistic, unreasonable demands of you, that maybe perhaps, he's just not the right guy for you? Doesn't it feel like you're trying to cram a square peg into a round hole? Sometimes, it's just not right, and no amount of reasoning, talking, understanding or explaining can make it right. I think you really need to take a minute and make room in your head and heart for that possibility, for your own sake and happiness.

 
Old 01-20-2006, 09:59 AM   #7
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whackedback HB Userwhackedback HB Userwhackedback HB User
Re: Need male input here please!!

I agree with everyone here. He obviously want you to be held to a higher standard that him.

Ask yourself "who would be here for me 20 years from now if I experienced a major trauma in my life?" Choose that person. In other words, kick him to the curb.

wb

 
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