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Old 01-19-2006, 10:08 AM   #1
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My confusing UPDATE...PLEASE READ LAST FEW POSTS

Sorry, i think this is going to be long. So the other day i thought I had it pretty much figured out who my ex was hanging out with b/c I had a seen a picture of her on his comp, she worked where he works, and she coincidentally broke up with her bf to explore "other options." So, not that i have to say it, but I really upset and wondering/comparing why she was better than me and what she had to make him want to hang out with her and that she was possibly the reason we broke up. Now, however, i am really confused again becasue she got back together with her bf, which i guess is a good thing b/c I guess that means she's not interested in my ex. But at the same time that kinda sucks b/c that means that she missed her bf so much that it only lasted a few days, but what abou my bf? you ask what is he thinking? well, he called me this morning to ask for the millionth time when my credit card payment is due, and to say when I could make a payment. OK... then i asked about my other pug and he asked about the one I have, just small talk. So asked what was new and he said nothing, nothing? i say and he goes yeah why? and I was like well, i just thought something might be new over the last month. Then I asked what he had been up to he said what do you mean, and I was like I mean besides work what have you been doing? he goes not much, just went to disney a few times. Oh, I say who did you go to disney with? he says some girl. some girl? i say and he goes yeah. silence for a sec, then he goes we aren;t going out or anything we're just hanging out, then i asked her name and he told me (was the girl i thought is was who got back with her bf) and said she worked at a different publix and they were just hanging out, i asked him if he liked and he just said they are just hanging out. then he says that he didn't call to upset me but that he didn;t want to lie to me, and I said good and it wasn't his fault since I asked after all. Then i said I missed him and he said miss you too. Now here is where it gets messy. I asked him if he still had feelings for me and he says "I don't know what I want" and i said well that doesn;t really answer my question and he just said that he didn't know and "I guess we'll talk about it later" ( he had to get ready for work) . And I was like well i guess it's not really any of my business but I kinda feel like it is since when we broke up or took a break or whatever you kinda left the door open for us to get back together and that eventually I am going to need to know either way so I can do what I have to do, and he was like go ahead and do what you have to do, and I was like what I mean is I need to know how you feel so i can..move on? he asks and I was like yeah, but I don't want to b/c I still love you and he was like I know, but I don't know what I want. And that was pretty much the gist of it and then he said he had to go get ready for work.

now, i am confused as usual. i think if he didn't have feelings for me anymore that he would be able to say no pretty easily, but maybe not. After our convo I sent him a TM saying sorry and that I didn't mean to get upset, that I was just trying to figure out what was going on in his head and in his heart. I also said that I know if he wanted to we could give us a second chance and really talk and work things through and that things could be great and we could be happy again like we were for 3 years. then i wrote one more saying that I know he doesn't knwo what he wants and i am not trying to push him.

i'm so stupid i don't know what to do or say and then when i do or say something I feel weird about what I did or said and wonder if if was the right thing to do or if i just screwed myself over more, again. It probably seems stupid I know, but I don't want to do anything wrong or anything to make him not want to come back , if he does decide he wants to come back. I don't want to jinx it or ruin the chance that he might come back by being crazy or saying/doing the wrong thing. does that make sense? or is it just pathetic? I still love him.

Oh and i should mention that after I asked him about the girl and found out what he'd been up to he asked me the same questions. he asked what I was up to and I said work, school, and hanging out. And he's like who are you hanging out with and I said my friends and he goes who? and i said my cousin. So it seems like he still cares, b/c if he really didn't care he would not ask, but I dont know maybe he was just reciprocating my questions.

I am so confused, it's such a strange feeling. i don't want to wait around for him but I feel like I would wait around forever. i don't want to be alone, but I also don't want to be with anyone else, unless its him. Help. Advice, comments accepted as usual. Thanks for anything, i am very grateful for the support or anything.

Last edited by steakie46; 01-26-2006 at 07:18 PM.

 
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Old 01-19-2006, 10:30 AM   #2
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Re: My confusing UPDATE...

Ugh, I'd turn and walk away for a while. He's being pretty clear when saying "Go do what you have to do". Don't sacrifice your achievable progress by holding on to someone who is giving you clear signs that he has no clue what he's doing. It sucks he can't be precise and just say "I'm not into it, I'm moving on and you should too."

But... if he said that you should do what you have to do I think that's the best advice. Keep yourself busy, do NOT talk to him on the phone for a while, or at least until you feel you can have a mutual conversation without talking about the "us" that used to exist.

I know it's not easy, and I don't mean to place my advice as though it is, I know it's not! But you DO need to do what YOU need to do. Heck, you never know, you could end up meeting someone or going on a few dates and suddenly he could be jealous and realize what he lost? You never know how it will work out, but the only real option in life is to do what's best for you, and holding on to someone who is saying they haven't a clue what they want isn't typically an ideal or good situation.

Take care of yourself first, and try to move on, that'd be my advice!

 
Old 01-19-2006, 10:39 AM   #3
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Re: My confusing UPDATE...

Steakie-
You know my story. You can read my new thread right now of my update.
What your ex is saying to you is almost IDENTICAL to what mine was saying to me, despite the fact that the situation is not quite the same. However, mine was much quicker to move on than it seems yours is...it might help that the girl your guy was interested in got back with her boyfriend. THe girl mine was interested in won't. Plus after all Ive told him regarding my feelings I think he knows he has no chance with me again in hell.
Use me as an example. I am going through a nightmare right now and have just scheduled a psychologist appointment for tomorrow morning. Cut things off and dont look back. He will drag you out while he doesnt know what he wants and it will slowly kill you, as it did to me, and then if you look back (as I did) and try to figure out what he was doing, I find out the truth and am completely and utterly destroyed beyond belief. I dont want to make this about me, I have my own crazy thread...Im just saying- LEARN FROM ME.
This guy wont know what he wants for awhile. Im starting to believe that for a lot of people, the early 20s is the age where no one knows what they want and this has seemed to happen to a lot of people.
I feel for you because I am dealing with it too, its just that my ex was a lot more deceitful, messed up and hurtful than yours seems to be (not undermining your situation at ALL, it is hell for both of us), Im just saying I know that makes it easier to want to hang on and...please dont. I know you have ties with him...please try to cut those ties off with the financial stuff and, well, I dont know about the dog but does he really need to call you and ask about the dog when he has one of his own? Dont take his calls. This is the only way you can heal. Im back at the beginning with my healing in a way, but I will never speak to my ex again and I think he knows not to contact me.
*I forgot- just to show you of the exact similarities with his words:
When I told mine I wanted to cut him off, he said "Do what you gotta do I guess". What a bast*rd. Sound the same?

Last edited by lady346; 01-19-2006 at 10:41 AM.

 
Old 01-19-2006, 11:09 AM   #4
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Re: My confusing UPDATE...

Destea,

hi thanks for the response, i agree. Also, not that I am trying to defend him or anything but when he said "do what you need to do" I don't think he knew what i was talking about which was I had to clarify.

Citygirl,

Yes seems our ex's sound very similiar. And I agree with the comment about how they aren't going to knwo what they want for a while. For me I think that mine would either have come back already after a week or so because he missed me a lot, or that it will be a while (few months or more) before he can really see whats missing in his life without me. In a way, i like the latter better b/c if he comes back after a week it could be because he misses you but it could also be because he does not like being alone and it could be a lie (know what I mean) but if they come back after a few months it is definitely more sincere in a way because they have had all that time to really think about it and come to the conclusion. It makes sense to me anyways

Anyways I figure that as of now mine will not be coming back for a while if at all. I guess I cannot really wait around for him but I am not looking to get involved either, b/c as sad and pathetic as it sounds I do at least want to give him that chance to come back b/c I really think he's going to miss me after a while. not to be self centered but I was really good to him and he knows how much i loved him, and I was the onyl person he had to talk to and stuff. i guess we'll see, but I do love him and i still want him back. i am trying to move on, but not too far on...

I mean could it really be that he is confused and sincerely does not know what he wants/what he's doing? or am i being stupid here?

Last edited by steakie46; 01-19-2006 at 11:11 AM.

 
Old 01-19-2006, 11:20 AM   #5
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Re: My confusing UPDATE...

You're not being self-centered. You need to say those things to get through this- I say them all the time in these threads because its true, and Im sure its true for you too. Yes, Im not gods gift on earth as far as girlfriends though, Im not perfect and no one is. But I was incredibly amazing to mine to the point where I even surprise myself as far as how deep I can love, how much I am willing to give and how understanding and compromising and selfless of a person I am. Its nice to recognize about that yourself, even through all of this. And I will never understand how someone would want to let me and what we had go when it was the way it was...but theres nothing I can do.
Mine will not be coming back. I know it, havnet accepted it yet, but am desperately trying to get there. Start trying to think that he will not come back and really try to believe it. Its near impossible right now but one of the worst things you can do is have hope...I mean, it could go on forever and you'd NEVER get over him. You have to assume he wont.
(I know I know- easier said than done. Trust me Im not there yet, even though I dont want the a**hole back. Its just the rejection and hurt keeping me from fully believing what I just told you for myself, even though I know its the thing to think).

Last edited by lady346; 01-19-2006 at 11:21 AM.

 
Old 01-19-2006, 11:46 AM   #6
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Re: My confusing UPDATE...

I just don't what to take of the other girl. I mean could it really be he just wanted someone to hang out and they thought there might be something there (enough for her to break up with her bf) but then there wasn't? i mean he went to disney with girls while we were together (with other guys too though). Maybe he did not want to be alone? i just don't know how I should be looking at it. i don't think he is a jerk for doing it and I found it amusing that he had to elaborate about the girl and tell me that they were not going out, just hanging out. I don't know, i was hoping she would make him see why we fell in love, but I don't think they hung out long enough to make him see that. And its funny, b/c this girl is pretty opposite of me, and she's only 18 for crying out loud, i mean doesn't he want an older girl who is going to college and has a career path and knows what she wants. not to mention is mature and wants a future and to grow up. I used to think maybe he wanted me to be more mature, since this was my frist real relationship i had the fairy tale idea in my head, but how can that be true when this girl is only 18? when we met I was 17 and was about to graduate frmo high school, does he really want to start all over again? I mean he must loves proms or something! I mean at 18 you are not really thinking about getting a house and getting married and career. She has dark hair, i have blonde, she has dark eyes, me blue, I am a little thick (lol) she seems pretty skinny. It's almost like my bf is not ready to grow up, but he's 23 and he should move out of his parents house! but instead he wants to spend all his money and run around with 18 year olds? It makes me so mad b/c its like the whole time we were together we did not get to spend that much time together b/c I had school and he worked at nights, now I am almost out of school (two more years) and he has gotten of his night schedule and NOW he wants a break, after I dealt with not seeing him a lot for 3 years, now when I get to see him more he wants to break up. i am confused, I though he liked me b/c I was mature and he still says I am the coolest girl he knows, so what gives?

Last edited by steakie46; 01-19-2006 at 12:23 PM.

 
Old 01-19-2006, 12:04 PM   #7
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Re: My confusing UPDATE...

Yep. I feel you. Mine told me when we were togehter that...
I was the most intelligent girl he'd ever met, I made him think, I was gorgeous, I had the perfect body, I was a good person to my core, I was a strong person, I could do anything I wanted to, etc etc. And even after the break-up, 'you're still important to me' and I 'still care about you'.
BS.
You dont do this to people that you care about, and if you do, its obvious that you care about yourself more.
I understand everything you are saying about the other girl, because its the same for me- the girl my ex is now doing whatever with is the opposite of me too. Shes like 90 pounds and shorter and indian and has no butt and sure, shes probably a very sweet and fun person and have nothing against her for the most part. But I cant help comparing either. What my friend told me last night that I will try to remember is: IT DOESNT MATTER, and I will only knock myself down for comparing. HE IS NOT WITH ME either way, even if he is with her. And from what you're saying, your ex is not with this girl anymore, she got back with her bf. The way I see it is, if a guy came up to me and wanted to hang out and gave me attention and mild flirtation, id go with it, because it would build me up, make me feel like I might have hope for future relationships, and allow me to forget about the ex. However, I am so not ready for anything more than that to come out of it because I cant imagine uttering 'I love you' to someone else for a very long time. I waited 6 months to say that to my ex and I cant imagining developing a deep rltsp like that again for while. My point is, these types of rltsps I just described above are called REBOUNDS. They are there so you can 'find out what you want' and most of the time dont amount to anything. I know there are exceptions in which people leave their sig others for other people and get married to the other person, as messed up as that is. Look at the celebrity couple making all the headlines. I just think that if you want to analyze your ex's behavior, it is most likely him having interest in other women in general (as hurtful as that is, I know) and picking this girl to sort of test it out with, and maybe her bf ditched her and she was trying to forget about him too. Who knows. And he still cares about you and is scared to lose you completely because then he could be alone. But to be honest, he doesnt want to be with you because then he would be. Hes unsure of what he wants, just like he said, so hes trying it out.
My ex obviuosly doesnt know what he wants and I wish he could have told me that instead of saying "I want to be alone". I could choke him. Its clear now that our relationship's intensity was too much for him when he found a new life with new friends of his own and other girls that could be more light and fun. All Im saying is, these rltsps are most likely 'tests' or 'rebounds' and probably wont last. And if they do, well, the more easier it is for us to get over them.

 
Old 01-19-2006, 12:18 PM   #8
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Re: My confusing UPDATE...

Yes, i understand what you are saying. But at the same time I don't know if he really wants to "test the waters" so to speak or not, I don't think he knows either. And if he does maybe he'll realize how good he had it with me. If not I wish he would realize he doesn't want anything else and stop being stupid! I know what I am trying to say but not sure how to say it. What I mean is i don't know if he was even interested in her or if he just wanted someone to hang out with but not necessarily a "rebound." Maybe he did need to see if he felt the same about any other girl since I was his first serious relationship, how can he know how he can feel at his full potential when there is nothing to compare it to. I am not trying to defend him, just trying to understand him ( impossible, i know!). i don't know what to write and i don't even know what I want to hear (or read), I just want him to come back.... Everything was so great and I loved him so much (still do) i just don't understand what went wrong, and if this girl got back with her bf wouldn't that make him realize how great I was, b/c I would never ever do anything to hurt him intentionally (besides a few times when my tongue spoke before I thought). I am tired of him not knowing what he wants!!!!!! How could he not want me, I'm awesome, loving, honest, caring, patient, kind, fun, pretty, i mean c'mon!!!! And we were so comfortable and ourselves around each other, i can't imagine being that comfortable around anyone else (wonder if that was a good or bad thing? to me it was good). And I mean, i will admit, sometimes i was a pain in the @$$, but this was my first real relationship too so I was a bit in the dark and expecting everything to be like a fairy tale, i know now its not, but through it all I never loved him any less and always tried to work on things for him, for us. i hate to sound so pathetic but now that I realize what I am missing without him in my life I really wish he would give us second chance so i can show him that I'm willing to work on things in our relationship if he is, I am very stubborn but I would do anything for love and I would try if he would, and I know things can be better then they were the last couple months. I just want to show him that if we BOTH made some changes and compromises things would be wonderful! when i asked him about his feelings so that I could now to move on or not he didn't really say one way or another to move on or that he had no feelings, now I know in a way this is him being selfish, but also in a way isn't it that he doesn't know how he feels sincerely and that he doesn't want me to move on because he still cares about me and loves and might want to be with me again? For me him not saying for me to move on means he still loves me and is just as he said, confused and he doesn't know. i hate being like this and ina sense "defending" him but he is a pretty straight forward guy and I think if he really had no feelings for me he would just say it and tell me to move on. I think he going through a weird period in his life right now and he is having second thoughts about breaking up but also about getting back together, its tiring for me so i can only imagine how he feels! I know he cares or he would not even call or he would say he had no feelings so...yeah....I am pathetic and weak but he was my first love and I hoped he would be my last and even though i have no one to compare him to, i don't need the comparison to know I want him, and it's ok if he does, b/c I want him to be sure. I just want him to be happy, but at the same time I WANT TO BE HAPPY. Is that too much to ask? but he makes me happy.... I so ready to just be with him for the rest of my life, but i guess he is maybe not ready to be with a wonderful, stable girl for the rest of his life. I hate to think that he lied to me wehen we broke up in saying that it wasn't b/c of another girl, but how could he meet her like a few days later, sounds fishy to me. Also, that he said when we broke up that he didn't intend on being with anyone for a while and just wanted to be alone, which I guess is still true if you aren't actually with the person, which he isn't. And I guess our break didn't necessarily have anything to do with her, but somewhere in the back of his mind and intentions, i think it had an affect on his decision to.

i just wanted to add even if he is is, or was i guess, just hanging out with this girl as friends it still hurts that he would share with her something that was so "intimate" in a way to us (disney was our thing). That he would take her there and go to all the places and restaurants we went to and do all the activities we did, just really hurts. It is like he wants to replace me, but he doesn't, b/c there is no one like me but he wants someone to be like me and do the things we did, its weird.....its like he wants to have the same thing we had but with someone else, but he's gonna realize thats not possible, she's not gonna be like me, if he wants me so much than whats the problem????? I don't know if this made sense, hopefully you know what I mean

Last edited by steakie46; 01-19-2006 at 01:53 PM.

 
Old 01-19-2006, 05:49 PM   #9
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Re: My confusing UPDATE...

You know what really worries me is the uncertainty. Like I don't know if he is telling the truth that he really doesn't know what he wants, or if he's just too scared to tell me the real truth (which would be no feelings, and that I should move on). At the same time though I can't really ask b/c I don't want to **** him off if he is really just confused, and I don't think he would lie to me, b/c he even said it himself that he wasn't going to lie and he didn't lie about the girl so why would he lie about his feelings for me. Sure I know he probably doesn't want to hurt me, but I think he realizes it will hurt just as much no matter how long he waits and he is not one to beat around the bush about his feelings.


What do you all think?

Last edited by steakie46; 01-19-2006 at 05:51 PM.

 
Old 01-19-2006, 06:11 PM   #10
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Re: My confusing UPDATE...

Quote:
Originally Posted by steakie46
You know what really worries me is the uncertainty. Like I don't know if he is telling the truth that he really doesn't know what he wants, or if he's just too scared to tell me the real truth (which would be no feelings, and that I should move on). At the same time though I can't really ask b/c I don't want to **** him off if he is really just confused, and I don't think he would lie to me, b/c he even said it himself that he wasn't going to lie and he didn't lie about the girl so why would he lie about his feelings for me. Sure I know he probably doesn't want to hurt me, but I think he realizes it will hurt just as much no matter how long he waits and he is not one to beat around the bush about his feelings.


What do you all think?
To be completely honest, I think you're overanalyzing this situation and driving yourself crazy trying to find hope to cling to...I really don't mean that to be harsh or mean, because it's completely natural to do that and nearly impossible not to when someone we love pulls away. But your ex doesn't seem to be giving you much to go on when it comes to staying optimistic...my guess is that he's already decided to move on and is too cowardly to tell you directly. It almost sounds like he's trying to summon the courage to face you and tell you to move on, like you keep asking, but doesn't quite have the nerve, because if he didn't want you to move on, you've given him tons and tons of opportunities to say so. At this point, you've made your feelings completely clear, and he definitely knows that you still care and still have hope for your relationship, so the ball is in his court as far as any reconciliation is concerned. As another poster said earlier, the best thing you can do now is to focus on what's best for you emotionally, and in my view, that is to prepare yourself for the worst and hope for the best. I really hate to be a downer and pessimistic here, but I would hate to see your pain and heartbreak exacerbated and compounded because your BF doesn't have the guts to face you and tell you he's decided that the relationship is over for good. Unfortunately, it sounds like that is the case here, and I am really really sorry that you are having to go through such a crushing and difficult ordeal. I hope everything works out for the best, I really do, but I think your best bet at this point is to proceed as if he is gone for good...you need to focus on what's best for you and your own emotional well-being now rather than continuing to pursue him and repeat your position that you'd like to work things out. He knows that and he knows where to find you, but he hasn't chosen to do so, and quite frankly, I think you deserve a different, braver man who would never risk losing you in the first place. Again, I am sorry to be less than optimistic here; I only want to help you avoid getting hurt anymore than necessary if that is at all possible. I think Citygirl's advice and insights are brilliant, as always, and hopefully they will be helpful to you...I wish you both nothing but the best .

 
Old 01-19-2006, 07:10 PM   #11
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Re: My confusing UPDATE...

Hi all,


Thanks VM, for your words, they sucked to hear, but they were mostly true and I appreciate your insight and opinion.

I wrote an e-mail to him but I don't know whether or not to send it so I was hoping I could ask you guys and get some advice. The reason I wrote it is so he knows exactly where I stand and what I need him to do (for a change it's about me!). But at the same time I don't want to force him into a decision, after all it's only been a month. Anyways here it is:

Hey LP,

I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you being honest with me on the phone and I don't want you to think I am mad about it. You didn't do anything wrong, I asked questions, you answered them honestly, and I'm glad for it. I'll admit I was caught off guard a bit, but I'm not mad. I still obviously care about you and I want you to be happy no matter what you decide. You know my position, and WHEN you know yours all I ask is that you let me know. And it's ok if it's not what I want to hear, I'll be alright eventually, but personally there's no way for me to move on until I know especially since the door to our relationship was "left open". I hope that makes sense, b/c I don't know if it made sense on the phone.

<3 LP


Thanks for any replies, I could use a few opinions on whether I should send this or not.

 
Old 01-19-2006, 08:07 PM   #12
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Re: My confusing UPDATE...

Again, I feel so badly for you and am really sorry not to have had more upbeat advice for you...what a tough situation, you poor thing, but one way or another, I promise that this will get easier in time. As far as the email goes, I wouldn't send it personally, because I think at this point he's made it clear that he needs his space. Have you expressed all the important things you mentioned in your email to him already? If there is no new or different information, I wouldn't write him again, but that's just me. When I was in a similar situation, I found it best to close the door for good on the relationship, because I thought that the right man for me would never have left or questioned his love and devotion to me in the first place. Keeping that uncertainty, hope, and possibility alive can be worse than accepting that the relationship is over and beginning to grieve, but then everyone is different. The most important thing now is to be kind, patient, and a good friend to yourself. Take care and good luck, sweetie...

 
Old 01-20-2006, 09:07 AM   #13
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Re: My confusing UPDATE...

Thanks for the advice/opinion VM.


I don't knwo what to do. On one hand I want to know, but would it really make a difference. And then i start to think that if I have him tell me, and it ends up being that he's not coming back, I will be crushed, again, and if later on down the road he misses me and he wants to come back he won;t because he already told me he wasn't and men are like that (it's that pride thing). On the other other hand, however, if I never know and never get an answer from him how am I supposed to move on? I will always have this feeling and hope in the back of my mind. But even if I have him tell me he's not coming back i will still have that hope, but he will be more likely to really not come back even if he changes his mind. I hope that made sense, because my brain is a little tired of all this, so my thoughtas probably sound psycho..... This stinks sooo bad, I mean how can he do this, doesn't he realize how much i loved him?? I would do anything for him. To be completely honest I don't think he will find another love like ours, or even someone who loves him as much as me, to put up with him and his issues (I hate to say "put up" but you know what I mean). I told him I loved him all the time and did stuff for him, for us, all the time.

 
Old 01-20-2006, 02:10 PM   #14
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Re: My confusing UPDATE...

Anyone else have an opinoin/advice/comment about the e-mail? Thanks.

 
Old 01-21-2006, 12:16 PM   #15
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steakie46 HB User
Re: My confusing UPDATE...

Well I tweaked the message a bit and sent it only because I do want him to know that I appreciate his honesty. Also I wanted him to know where I stand and that when he knows he needs to let me know. I also basically told him that I realized I could never be just friends with him, b/c I love him to much. I think it will be good for him to hear that to know that everything is not going to be on his terms and that if he wants a relationship with then he is going to have to be IN a relationship with me. He can't have me and all the good things I bring to his life unless he wants a deeper commitment b/c that is all i feel I can give him, anything less and i would be lying to myself. Maybe this new information will make him realize that he doesn't want a life without me and he does love and to give our relationship another, maybe not, I guess we'll see..... I hope saying those things was not a mistake, but I know I could never be just friends with him, it would hurt too much and I really would never be able to get over him. What do you all think? thanks!

I am so confused b/c I am mad and sad, but at the same time hopeful he will want to try to work things through. I don't think that he will be coming back for a while, if at all but I miss him so much and still want him back, am I an idiot or what? he really is a good guy though.... this is soo hard, i am trying to be strong but sometimes I have these horrible weak moments, like now...

Other times I get mad at myself, b/c he is being kinda jerky, but then I remember how I got mad at him sometimes and yelled at him, and yes it was immature (I even remember telling him i hated him a few times, that's the worst and i wish I coudl take it back) but my tongue got the best of me and I am young so I would think I would catch a break on that one, but sometimes I feel really horrible that I ever said that (and other stuff) to him. Does anyone know what I mean? I feel like I was mean to him sometimes during our rltshp and i wish I coudl take it back, i wish I was not so immature, but it happened, it was an accident/mistake, I feel really bad though, b/c god knows and you all know I don't hate him at all I was just to casual with the word a few times when I was upset or mad...


I want to be ready to meet new people, but I know I'm not, I'm scared, is that normal?

Last edited by steakie46; 01-21-2006 at 02:10 PM.

 
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