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Old 01-20-2006, 10:03 AM   #1
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Aerith_Rose HB User
Question Falsehood accusation…why does it hurt so?

Dearest healthboard members,

I am in need of your advice on two subjects. I have been for the past month been trying to escape heartbreak. I have been having these frightening or upsetting dreams here very recently about my ex gf. You see my ex gf was my first love and relationship. I cared very much for her, but one day she e-mail me and told me we where no more. That was really hard.
Shortly after this I stared having these weird and frightening dreams of her. Is this normal? I have been having these dreams for almost 5 week now.

The other problem I am having is on false accusations from my ex gf. Interestingly, she has accused me of sending "friendship" emails or walking past her, scowling, slamming down a book bag in the hallway of the college that we go to. Also interestingly she has accused me of calling her /accuse her of everything you can imagine, and storm around her in a huff about it and the one that really make me mad is that she has said I have accused her of cheating. All of these thing are false and I am becoming every angry with her about all these accusation. She is 26 and she act like she is so maturate, and everyone else is so immature.

I am finding the accusation problem to be the most difficult to handle. I don’t know what to do about it. How do you handle someone like this?

Does anyone here have any advice, support and or opinions? Any and all would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for reading,

Aerith_Rose.

 
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Old 01-20-2006, 12:55 PM   #2
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akajessie HB User
Re: Falsehood accusation…why does it hurt so?

omg...i DO feel for you...am going thru similar...and my heart aches for all of us going thru similar or same thing...wish i could give you some "good advice" but i honestly can't right now...only cuz i am caught in my own whirlwind (e.g. prevoius post/threads from me).

all i CAN say is, you are NOT alone - tho it may seem or feel that way RIGHT now....

hugs and prayers to you.....

 
Old 01-20-2006, 03:52 PM   #3
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Gundam HB User
Re: Falsehood accusation…why does it hurt so?

wow, your ex GF would make up these stupid stories ... you should be glad that you have got rid of her ... just move on. There are lots of better girls out there.

 
Old 01-20-2006, 04:48 PM   #4
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GypsyArcher HB User
Re: Falsehood accusation…why does it hurt so?

I think it is normal that you are dreaming of your ex-girlfriend. She is obviously causing you a lot of stress in your waking hours, and usually that kind of thing will manifest itself in our dreams, as our subconscious toils with and tries to make sense of issues affecting us during the day.

If she has broken up with you, why are you two still communicating with each other? Why don't you just turn away and ignore her whenever she starts foaming at the mouth with all of these bizarre, paranoid delusions of hers? It seems like even though she ended it with you, she still wants you to pay attention to her, still wants to get you involved in all of her little personal dramas. I know it must be tough, especially since you attend the same school, but you gotta start blocking her out. You can't take anything she says to heart, since obviously she is a little loopy. Sometimes when people break up with their BF/GF they cannot deal with the possibility of the other person moving on, and so go out of their way to keep that person from forgetting about them. Stop indulging this girl, and tune her out. You'll find someone better one day...

 
Old 01-22-2006, 08:28 PM   #5
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Aerith_Rose HB User
Re: Falsehood accusation…why does it hurt so?

Hello all.

Thank you for all your support. I do very much greatly appreciate your support.

Thank you again,

Aerith_Rose.

 
Old 01-22-2006, 11:04 PM   #6
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Veronica_Mars HB User
Re: Falsehood accusation…why does it hurt so?

Quote:
Originally Posted by GypsyArcher
I think it is normal that you are dreaming of your ex-girlfriend. She is obviously causing you a lot of stress in your waking hours, and usually that kind of thing will manifest itself in our dreams, as our subconscious toils with and tries to make sense of issues affecting us during the day.

If she has broken up with you, why are you two still communicating with each other? Why don't you just turn away and ignore her whenever she starts foaming at the mouth with all of these bizarre, paranoid delusions of hers? It seems like even though she ended it with you, she still wants you to pay attention to her, still wants to get you involved in all of her little personal dramas. I know it must be tough, especially since you attend the same school, but you gotta start blocking her out. You can't take anything she says to heart, since obviously she is a little loopy. Sometimes when people break up with their BF/GF they cannot deal with the possibility of the other person moving on, and so go out of their way to keep that person from forgetting about them. Stop indulging this girl, and tune her out. You'll find someone better one day...
Hi Aerith Rose,

It's good to see you back and posting...how are you doing otherwise? I really hope you are okay and that you're making progress in moving on and getting over your ex. I know it must be hard having to see her around campus and all, but Gypsy Archer is so right that the less contact you have with her, the better off you will be. I really believe that you have to cut off communication with someone who has broken your heart in order to progress through the healing process. You are clearly a lot better off without your ex since she is acting this way...it definitely sounds like she is trying to keep you from moving on and getting over her by playing these mind games, which is immature, mean and selfish of her. You deserve so much better! Remember that the sooner you get your ex out of your life, the sooner your heart will heal and be able to open up again to someone much better suited for you. Please realize that your ex no longer has your best interests at heart and is clearly trying to cause you distress, so you need to put yourself first, as she has chosen to do by leaving, and for the sake of your own emotional well-being, you need to avoid her as much as you possibly can. Hopefully she will get tired of playing these games with you once you make it clear that you are no longer interested in maintaining communication with her, and then your nightmares will go away, and you can get the sleep you need to feel good as you go about the process of getting on with your life and healing from the loss and heartbreak you have suffered. My heart goes out to you, and I really hope you start feeling a lot better about everything very soon. You are a very caring, loving, and kind guy, and I promise that it won't be long, once you are over this breakup and ready to love again, before you find a girl that will treat you much better, be a more suitable partner for you, return the love and devotion you give to her, and prove that she is worthy of your love by never letting you down or squandering it. Hang in there...it does get easier with time if you take good care of yourself and make sure to do what is best for you from now on. Good luck and take care!

Best wishes, Stacy

 
Old 01-23-2006, 11:02 AM   #7
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Aerith_Rose HB User
Re: Falsehood accusation…why does it hurt so?

Hi Stacy,

It nice to here from you again. Your advice really help me a lot on the other thread.

I have been making good progress with moving on. It was hard the 3 week ago. The College we both when to is a Career college named Heald 4C’s. After all the heart break. She e-mail me to tell me to give her all the space she need and I was not to go any where she was to be at the school. When school started I found my self hiding in ever corner trying to respect and honor her wishes by staying away from her as much as possible. How every she did not do the same for me. I found my self being hunted by her. She would look down the halls, and class rooms looking for me. On the day of finals, she when out of her way to find me down stairs to give me mean and hateful looks as she past by me.

I thought the nightmare of all this was never going to end. On the last day of finals I was not filling good and I toke the advice of all the wonderful people here on healthboard, and walk right past her in the hall with out saying a word to her.

I know she was not happy about that, because Shortly after classes ended for the quarter brake. She stared making these Falsehood accusations that I said when I had not said a word to her in over three week. So it was very heart breaking to hear these thing from other at school.

I am glad to say that my Ex GF has finished at school and I just realized this was her way of dealing with it, and happy that I no longer have to deal with her behaviors or her. I would never treat anyone the way that she has treating me. I couldn't live with myself if I did something so assinine. I do hope the best for her.

I know one day I will find a girl that will treat me much better, be a more suitable partner for me, return the love and devotion I give to her, and prove that she is worthy of my love by never letting me down or squandering it and yes I will Hang in there...it is getting easer with each day.

My heart and soul thanks you, and everyone on the boards for all your support.

Hugs and best wishes to all….

Aerith_Rose.

P.S I will remember your sweet advice: “Hang in there...it does get easier with time if you take good care of yourself and make sure to do what is best for you from now on. Good luck and take care!” I will and thank you again. When I need advice, support and or opinions. I will come hear to talk to you and any and all on the healthboards members. Hug to all.

 
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