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Old 01-20-2006, 08:56 PM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 74
luvgirl HB User
Too Sensitive or not?

Hi All,

I guess I want to thank you guys for reading this post as I just need a place to rant to. Itís too hard sometimes to talk to your friends about the nitty gritty things going on in your relationship. There has been a few things that has bothered me a lot for a while now. First of all is it wrong of me to want my boyfriend of 2 years to ďwant to have pics of usĒ up? I have pictures of us thatís framed on my desk, my room and even a wallet pic of us. I guess I shouldnít complain since he does have a wallet pic and a picture of me under a pile of stuff on his desk. Heís told me numerous times that heís not the type to hand up pictures but why do I see a picture of him and his buddies thatís on their camping trip up and itís framed too. He also has a revealing picture of one of the Miss Universe contestants (or any other female stars) as his desktop background on his computer. His cell phone background (wallpaper) is another pic of this revealing female asian star. His msn is yet another pic of another female asian star. I feel so unimportant since my picture is under a pile of papers and books but heís got other pictures of women up. I used to have a picture of us as my desktop background for my computer but I took it off since I didnít want to be too clingy because he didnít have any of me. I feel sometimes I may be going overboard with my pictures and framing them.

The second thing that bothers me is that he doesnít take the initiative to hold my hand when weíre out in public. I finally had the nerve to tell him a few weeks ago how much it bothers me. When I said that he said weíre not teenagers anymore and donít need to hold hands but he will try to remember to hold my hand. I felt so hurt when he said that holding hands is a teenager thing because I look at it differently even though we are not teenagers anymore. I do not just hold anybodyís hands when I am out in public. We have actually gone out say shopping for hours and I just walk alongside him or ahead of him. Itís not the most pleasant experience to go shopping with him since I feel like Iím going out with a guy friend. He will hold my hand if I take the initiative and be the one to do so but it sucks to be me. I wonder sometimes if I am just being too sensitive about this since he did say heíll try to remember if it means that much to me. I guess Iím expecting to much to want my boyfriend to want to hold my hands when weíre out in public.

Sorry guys for the long post and thanks for reading it. I just needed a place to rant to and hopefully have a open ear thatíll listen to my rants.

 
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Old 01-20-2006, 10:16 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,566
Hiya HB User
Re: Too Sensitive or not?

Hey LG - I think it's a tough call, these things can be really just a matter of personal taste. As far as pictures, when I had a boyfriend, we took pictures of us when we went places together, in fact he had us take a picture for his photo book and to send home and gave me a copy. I put it in my photo album, which pretty much stays in a storage box under my bed. I'm just not one of those people either, who frames pictures or puts them up. I had an autographed picture of one of my favorite musical artists that got as part of a contest winning and was always very proud of it, and I have that framed and hanging on my wall, but I never framed any pix of my bf, or kept any in my wallet or anything, but I still loved him very much.

The holding hands thing would cause me a little more concern. It oculd just be your bf is more reserved and just isn't into public displays. I don't know if I'd be so quick to make a big deal out of this one thing. Just observe how his behavior is toward you in other areas.

 
Old 01-21-2006, 12:30 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: MN
Posts: 675
Veronica_Mars HB User
Re: Too Sensitive or not?

Can I ask how old you are? It sounds like you have a tendency to worry a lot--are you sure you're not overthinking things and looking for problems, or do these issues really bother you a lot? I'm not trying to diminish your concerns, but if you are happy in the relationship in all the other important respects, I wouldn't allow anything negative to detract from that. You have the ability to choose what you focus on, and it only hurts you and your relationship when your energy is directed at anything but the positive aspects of something. However, if you are generally unhappy and these are just a few examples of why, that's a whole different story, so I think you should give some serious thought to whether or not you are content and fulfilled in the relationship as a whole, and proceed accordingly. Then again, I'm not a very sensitive person myself, and I tend to think that a lot of people analyze things too much and create headaches for themselves which are avoidable, so please don't be offended by my advice and be sure to take it with a grain of salt. Good luck, take care, and best wishes!

 
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