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Old 01-21-2006, 08:27 AM   #1
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I feel guilty help :( :(

Hi
Im 18 and broke up with my boyfriend after a 3 year relationship
We broke up becasue our relationship wasnt working anymore we were constantly fighting and things were just not the same even though we had such a special relationship one of a kind we both would think his the onlyperson ive been with for the 3 years and same with him.
He even tells me he cant imagine being with neoen else especially in a relationship he said i ment the world to him but everything just changed.
HE made the final choice to break up because it just felt wrong to be without him. 3 years is such a long time and togther we were like one person we knew everything about one another and i have never connected with anyone else on the level we did.
and since we have broken up ive felt lost without him i feel so sad that all our beautful memories are gone.anwyay since we broke up he cryed and said it feels wrong no to be togtether and but on the other hand he said but he just cant handle the relationship cos even i agree it did get a bit to hard to handle.
He said theres no way hell move on yet, pick up etc.. at the moment
i felt the same way and thought it would be impossible to kiss anyone and to get close to someone
.
Anyway i went clubbing to socialise with some friends i was getting some attention from guys i felt like theres no way i could do anything with neone then this guy he tryed to kiss me but at the beginning i didnt and really thought theres no way i would..
anyway we danced a bit and then he kissed me and i thought its not going to hurt if i kiss him back..(i think i mainly did it for ther affection that i cant no longer get from my boyfriend)
and so i did then straight after i felt bad and regretted it all i could think was about my bf (who i broke up with)i cant even bring myself to say X boyfriend )
Anyway i feel terrible like i did a wrong thing i cant believe i allowed myself to get that close to some random guy that i met at a club
why do i feel like i cheated even though im not with my boyfriend. i really regret it. is it really that wrong?
my (x bf even said to me lastnight he knows i woulnt kiss neone yet n i feel guilty i feel like i have to tell him. But if i do hell be shocked he will think i moved on quikly and that i never cared bout him. but he was and still is the love of my life we even use to talk about getting married and being together 4ever.
Should i just block it out of my head (the guy at the club) i have a tendancy to regret things its like i do them spear of the moment and then after i realise i regret : ( anyway i havnt picked up at a club since i was 15 so maybe thats why it feels bad? I feel angry with myself>>
Any help please

 
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Old 01-21-2006, 08:53 AM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 235
Murray67980 HB User
Re: I feel guilty help :( :(

Please don't feel bad, you did nothing wrong. You are broken up, as much as it hurts. You need to move on with your life. Maybe you and your (ex) boyfriend need some time apart to grow and find yourselves, and who knows, maybe one day be together again.

In the mean time, focus on YOU!

I don't reccommend purposly seeking out other guys for the attention and affection that is missing in your life. But it was only a kiss. Kissing is fun! Just watch yourself. and be careful to not let it go too far....

I know how you feel. I just came out of a 4 year relationship and I love him with all my heart. A part of me feels dead without him. But deep down I know its for the best. I have to love myself again before worrying about loving someone else. I don't even know who I am without him. It hurts like hell, but we'll be ok.

 
Old 01-21-2006, 09:08 AM   #3
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: USA
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keepsgoin HB User
Re: I feel guilty help :( :(

You didn't do anything wrong! I think maybe your BF was using reverse psychology when he said to you that he knows you wouldn't be with anyone yet as a means to make you feel guilty if you are with someone.
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