opinions please - Relationship Health Message Board

DemonCleaner · 01-30-2006, 05:51 PM

Well here it is the long and sometimes not so happy tale of my relationship. I may end up rambling so forgive me if I do.
I've been with my GF now for 2 and a half years and to say that it has been rocky going is really an understatement.
Ok where to begin, well first off I would like to say and stress that I have not cheated on her.
Ok, it first started a few months into the relationship when I had noticed that when I would leave the room and not take my mobile with me, when I'd come back to the room The light would be on it or it would have moved or Something like that. I just put that down to maybe she had Used it to find out the time or something.
Anyway I later found out she had been going through my Phone to read the texts I had got from my friends. Arguments ensued to which she admitted she was wrong and said she would never do it again. Since then she has been caught doing it on 3 other separate occasions. I have also caught her out going through my bedroom drawers and looking through the pockets of my coats.
Now bare in mind I don't live with her so she doesn't have any clothes or anything in these drawers.
We also have loads of arguments over these and several other petty things and she usually ends up dumping me over this and then she comes back a few hours later saying she is sorry and didn't mean any of it. She has also dumped me cause, as she puts it 'I don't show her that there is any future with us'. I have never given her any indication that I want to make plans about my future in ANY way (work, relationships, home, family) but she consistently pressured me into conversations about 5/10 years down the line, which I find really uncomfortable.
Ok now comes the bit that bothers me the most is that she is 10 years older than me and when we are out in public, if we have an argument, I try to keep it between us and quiet but she actually starts crying.
I have actually only dumped her once because she actually phoned a bar I went to the night before to find out what time they closed to see if it was the same as the time I actually said I left at. I have also been told by a friend that she has turned up and sat outside a club I used to go to check to see if I was there that night, she drove off as soon as she was seen.

I know this all paints her in a bad light and I do have feelings for her but I feel like I am being trapped and I don't know how to get out. she really knows how to manipulate the situation so she comes out with what she wants and I know I should be tough and stand my ground.

I would like your opinions please.

sorry if there is a lot to read but cutting 2 and a half
years down into this was hard enough lol.

Music4All · 01-30-2006, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DemonCleaner

...I know I should be tough and stand my ground.

You have given yourself your own best advice. Really, in the end, what else could you hope to do that would offer you a resolution. You can continue with how you are doing things, which does not seem to offer you much success, or you can change what you are doing (stand your ground) and accept what comes from that. At least standing your ground offers dignity and self respect.

I just read your previous post several months ago where you said she searches through your stuff, looked through your phone, and computer, and also looked through your pockets to find my phone.

You received some pretty good advise back then.

GypsyArcher · 01-30-2006, 06:28 PM

It sounds like this woman is dreadfully insecure, which is too bad. And for being ten years older than you, she sure acts immature, what with the constant dumping you only to come running back hours later. It does sound like a lot to deal with, and would probably drive me nutso as well. You may be better off without all of that drama.