How to come back from the (emotionally) dead? - Relationship Health Message Board

SophiaM · 01-31-2006, 08:35 PM

I don't really want to talk about it anymore. Thank you very much for the advice.

Fabat40 · 01-31-2006, 09:38 PM

{{{SophiaM}}}

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I've been there, many times and it's okay.
Honey, sounds like you're suffering from depression and you may want to seek professional help. Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with seeking professional help. Maybe they can advice you on getting on some anti-depressant just to help you a bit.

I tell my friends and families this advice:

"It's okay to be lonely, what matters is what you do with your loneliness"

We'd all been there. I still feel like I don't belong to "a" particular group. At my age, 41, my colleagues are much older than me. Most are in their 50s. But when I try to hang out with my age group, we don't seem to have the same intellect or interests. I have very few, select friends that shares my values & interests. Unfortunately, as we get older, they seem to slip by unnoticed and friends are hard to come by. Like tonight, two of my friends and I just went for a quick bite to eat and had some wine. I like that spontaneity and we share interests in wine.

What you may need to do other than seek professional help is sit down with yourself and try to discover what you truly like. One friend of mine discovered she liked painting and whenever she wants to get away from it all, she takes off with her brushes, her canvases, her paint and a chair and find a quiet place to paint the scenery. I discovered I like dancing and I got into salsa dancing. Another friend of mine discovered she liked to knit and she'd knitted all of us including our beloved dogs and cats sweaters and blankets.

Our pets hate it though.

You see the point I'm getting at? Get to know yourself. Take good care of yourself. Treat yourself as if you're dating yourself. Give yourself the time and attention it needs. Give yourself the rest it needs. I know some of this may sound obtuse, but some people just doesn't know how to "sit" with themselves. The more you pay attention to yourself, the more you will come out of this. And another thing that always makes me feel good.... give. Volunteer to a cause you believe in once you get yourself out of this situation. I love giving my time and money to the homeless shelters and food bank. It's one of my passion throughout the year. You'll soon discover that we're not in such a bad place after all.

But don't neglect yourself anymore. Go seek professional help.

GypsyArcher · 01-31-2006, 09:52 PM

While it may seem on the surface that you have all of your ducks in a row, I think your subconscious knows that something is off, which is why you feel so empty. You are going to have to take a good personal inventory. Are you being true to yourself? Are you doing what really makes you happy? Or is there something else...something you won't admit to yourself, or else don't even fully realize?

I know you don't have to be told, but you need to stop drinking ASAP! It will only make your depression a BILLION times worse. I myself was reluctant to get sober after several years of heavy drinking, because I knew that my life would be squarely facing me and I would have to start taking control and personal responsibility (lifelong enemies!) That will have to be the first step, you cannot accomplish anything worthwhile if you are drinking. The more you fall into that pattern and coping mechanism, the harder it will be to stop. Take care of yourself ((((hugs))))

Fabat40 · 01-31-2006, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GypsyArcher

I know you don't have to be told, but you need to stop drinking ASAP! It will only make your depression a BILLION times worse. I myself was reluctant to get sober after several years of heavy drinking, because I knew that my life would be squarely facing me and I would have to start taking control and personal responsibility (lifelong enemies!) That will have to be the first step, you cannot accomplish anything worthwhile if you are drinking. The more you fall into that pattern and coping mechanism, the harder it will be to stop. Take care of yourself ((((hugs))))

Oh GypsyArcher, I didn't know SophiaM drinks...

SophiaM honey, go seek help. GypsyArcher's right, drinking will not help. I'm sorry about my wine comment.

Hon, go seek help. Drinking is not the answer to anything, if it's causing your depression....

eve40 · 01-31-2006, 09:59 PM

I agree with everything Fab said. Start treating yourself to little luxeries like facials, manicures and wraps, as often as you can afford it. They make you feel wonderful, physically. Also, time to get physical.................naughty girl, I meant exercise. A good run or brisk walk will relase those, feel good chemicals into your brain. Speaking of which..........lay off the booze if the amount you're drinking is starting to scare you. And, it's ok to enjoy your own company.......until you bump into Mr right or right now, whatever you may be looking for. I hope this helps, Sophia, you helped make me feel better the other night.