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Old 02-04-2006, 07:34 AM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2005
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charlatans HB User
help please

I was browsing through forums on my university website and came across messages posted by my exs friends. They are having a party at his place this weekend. I burst into tears.
Im still in love with this guy. So in love. I miss him so much it hurts like no other pain Ive experienced.
To be chucked away like rubbish, to be treated with no respect...its hurting. Hhe is a better person than this, Ii dont know why hes been like this with me. hes amde me feel s worthless. Made me realise how bad my life is. Made me realise that no one cares in my life, what rubbish friends I have. Im so hurt, do upset, Ive started crying again. he told me he'd be there for me. What trash. I wish he cared. I really do. How could he do that?
I feel as tho no one is on my side. I feel as though my friends arent there for me. No one understands how I feel. I want to hayte him, forget about him, but its so hard.
I know we are over but I find it so difficult not having him around...so difficult.

Ive decided to change my number today. I have to. Ive got to cut off all contacts with my ex.
Ive decided to move out of home in the next month. My finances are bad but Ive got to do it for my happiness, life at home is bringing me down.

im starting to feel so depressed again...I feel as though Im at the edge again...
not jsut because of my ex but other things tooo- ive started to dislike my family, i dont have any support, im findings things way too difficult. I want smoeone to care.

please help ive returned back to how i was before

 
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Old 02-04-2006, 08:32 AM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2006
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nohema HB User
I know the feeling

I'm not sure that I can give any words of advice because I'm in the same stage that you are. But I care, keep posting I'll be here to at least listen to you. Don't give up because I won't. You have someone on your side. My thread is "How to survive first love?" please listen to me as I'll listen to you.

You have me, I'll listen. We can do it!

Last edited by nohema; 02-04-2006 at 08:33 AM.

 
Old 02-04-2006, 10:07 AM   #3
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charlatans HB User
Re: help please

Thanks nohema. Youll go through cycles, theyll seem endless, but stick in there. Its boud to get better sooner or later.

I wish I could hate my ex. But I still think he is so perfect. I cringe and feel sick at the way I was treated but that still doesnt put me off him. It hurts so bad. So bad.
This last week I thought I was over him, thought we could be friends. Somtimes I still think we can. Im unsure.

Do you think a rebound would help? Suggestions?

 
Old 02-04-2006, 10:09 AM   #4
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charlatans HB User
Re: help please

Thanks nohema. Youll go through cycles, theyll seem endless, but stick in there. Its boud to get better sooner or later.

I wish I could hate my ex. But I still think he is so perfect. I cringe and feel sick at the way I was treated but that still doesnt put me off him. It hurts so bad. So bad.
This last week I thought I was over him, thought we could be friends. Somtimes I still think we can. Im unsure.

Whats gettng me down is remembering the summer we had together. Im missing him so so so much. Despite how busy I am, I cant stop missing him like crazy. Will I ever have a perfect time like that again? I find it difficult to see. how an I find another person as perfect as him?

Things are getting bad. Pretty bad to be honest. I may go see a counsellor but I feel ashamed.

 
Old 02-04-2006, 10:11 AM   #5
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charlatans HB User
Re: help please

Im falling into depression again... please advice really is needed
Hes at that party tonight...and im stuck at home with no car. no decent friends. overdraft because of the phone bill I got last month- calling him all the time. I cant even begin to imagine his.

 
Old 02-04-2006, 10:25 AM   #6
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opielonghorn HB User
Re: help please

hey there. take a deep breath and relax. you are going to be fine. i have been there and i made it thru, and you will, too. this is your life. you know what you need to do- no more contact, get rid of every reminder, and don't do anything that even provides a slight chance that you will find out what he's doing. because that's the bottom line. knowing about this party is not doing anything but making you crazy. it's good that you're taking steps like changing your number and planning to move out on your own. you have every ability to make your life better and exactly what you want it to be. tonight, instead of thinking about what's going on at the party, try to distract yourself. watch something funny and mindless. and when you are feeling better, sit down and really think about what you want your life to be. make a list of what you want to change, and start at the top. you can do this. i understand that you still have feelings about him. it will get easier. we are here for you.

 
Old 02-04-2006, 10:34 AM   #7
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charlatans HB User
Re: help please

thanks opie.
I think I seriously need to go to my doctor and tell her exactly what is going on and how Im feeling. I feel as though Im nearing a breakdown. Ill see my personal tutor on Tuesday and tell her all that is happening. I need to get a loan out. I need to get out of home next month. My family dont help this situation but that is another issue I do not wish to discuss. Ive had enough and time to move out.
I think im going mad. Will these feelings ever go? Im giong crazy. Literally. Fell betrayed, hurt, angry, I cant take anymore. Im so stupid to have wasted myself on this guy, Im so mad, its tearing me apart. I remember the tihngs he said to me. How can people be like that? It makes it more difficult for me because everyone thinks he is the nicest guy. He is. I dont know what happened I thought he'd help me through this. He couldve done. But he is too selfish...i keep getting into these states and I cant stop them

 
Old 02-04-2006, 10:35 AM   #8
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Fabat40 HB User
Re: help please

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlatans
please help ive returned back to how i was before

Hi Charlatans,

Hon, don't let this little episode worry you... it's a little blip on your way to healing.

Let him have his parties.... that's just his way of "grieving", perhaps you may want to do the same. What matters is the person that he truly is in the long run. Start going out with good friends and that's a great thing you changing your phone number.... you need to flush this guy out of your system completely! He's obviously not the right guy for you.... I think this is another "lesson learned" relationship so you'd learn the mistakes on this one to prepare you for the one who's really meant for you.

And one more thing sweetie, you are a great lady, you are a catch. Improve yourself and don't look back. Don't accept anything less than what you want and never settle! You are NOT worthless... you are a great lady and don't you forget it!

{{{BIG HUGS}}}

 
Old 02-04-2006, 10:37 AM   #9
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charlatans HB User
Re: help please

I cant stop crying again
How could he do this...how could he treat me like this...

 
Old 02-04-2006, 11:02 AM   #10
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Fabat40 HB User
Re: help please

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlatans
I cant stop crying again
How could he do this...how could he treat me like this...
Hon, I wish there's something I can do.... {{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}

Go ahead and grieve, you have to grieve, but don't let him do this to you... don't show him you're upset. Don't let him know because it'll just feed his empty ego.

Once you're tired of crying, get up and start doing something positive for YOU, only you and nobody else. And don't do anything to hurt yourself, please..... just cry hon, let it all out.

And avoid him at all cost until you're strong enough not to be bothered by him.

 
Old 02-04-2006, 11:09 AM   #11
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charlatans HB User
Re: help please

thanks fabat40
i cant help this at all, ive never felt so weak and ashamed, hurt, angry and heartbroken...
i want it to stop
i wont contact him ever again...never ever
how did i give himthe opportunity to do this to me? i was always a strong girl, i never bothered with guys, i could always pick out the wrong ones...why was i stupid this time? why did i give my heart away? i feel so disgusted.

 
Old 02-04-2006, 12:21 PM   #12
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Nina000 HB User
Re: help please

Betrayal and shock with the person you once trusted is the worst experience that can happen to a caring and genuine woman like you are, but remember that it can't get worse, you will only feel better, after a week, two, a month or two maybe.
You are lucky Charlatans that this worthless miserable b----- is out of your life. you can't imagine how better you will feel in the long term. It is not your mistake that you met the wrong person, they come and go fast and leave no trace..
You are a university student and smart enough to know that it's HIS LOSS. Don't worry about the material issues, they sort themselves out. You might feel a bit better once you are settled in a new place.
Get a part time job if you can, is it possible at all?
Take care

 
Old 02-04-2006, 12:55 PM   #13
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charlatans HB User
Re: help please

thanks nina your post has helped.
Maybe itd help if people could make me hate him? Because I cant.
Its really not a good idea being friends with him, is it?

 
Old 02-04-2006, 01:03 PM   #14
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charlatans HB User
Re: help please

what im finding so difficult is
1) missing him so much
2) the cruel things he said
3) being so confused, not understanding things- i keep wondering all the time, trying to obtain answers he could help me with but choses not to because i am an emotional burdon
4) him ignoring me

hmmm....

 
Old 02-04-2006, 01:12 PM   #15
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Nina000 HB User
Re: help please

You are not really missing HIM, you are missing what he made you feel then. His cruelty only reflects that he is inferior, it doesn't at all mean that you deserve it. If I were you I would laugh inside and feel sorry for him for not being honest enough with himself and with you. Such a person will never have a life, and will never ever be proud of himself inside.

As for ignoring you, this is the way of the cowards who have no explanations or answers...Cheer up girl... you have everything to be proud of. You are honest and intelligent, and you deserve a man not a boy like him.

And listen university parties can be real fun, why don't you plan to organise or go to one?

Last edited by Nina000; 02-04-2006 at 01:14 PM.

 
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