Nina000

Hi all

My Bf who has lived with me for three years, proposed to me in January and met my family earlier, is now putting me under indirect but massive pressure to leave!!!! I know that *I* want to leave but he's making it extremely difficult, dramatic and nasty.

Here's only a flavour of what has happened over the last week: I have realised that he took someone's email address (from the Canary Island) to inquire about working there , and this morning he (smiling) said that he's going to give notice of quitting to his work this Summer
While I understand that this perfectly his right the fact that he has already taken actual steps, makes me SO disappointed!

Another scene was last night. We were in a pub, and we've met a Mexican couple who were nice but Dave was so keen to follow up and aske for THEIR contact number. I know that he's fond of Mexico, but he went to the Dance Floor where the girl was and left me alone at the table right next to a jerk who started to harrass me and even tried to touch me, as soon as I was on my own!!!! Just then Dave realised and came over and asked aggressively if he's done anything, to which I had to say no in order to aviod causing Dave a fight, I only asked him to leave. Also, during the night out he kept on saying that he wished that his son was here at this table to listen to the violin, as he bought him one that he never used.

Oh and one more thing I have realised also that there is an overdue rent payment of about 900 pounds, that has got to be cleared immediately. Well, I offered to pay it first and wrote him a cheque (while my grant is being cleared). I did that because I know that he is entitled to council help (half of the rent) have I not lived with him (as I am not a UK national)! This is fine and he hasn't asked me to pay it off but it's been piled up because of his irresposibility. I would have preferred to pay my share regularly rather than at once, esp with the other terribly heavy payments that I have. I also felt quite angry as I wanted every penny to leave! Also I broke down in tears because I knew that my dad was having a serious problem with his health that may require a surgery in his spinal column, due to standing on his feet in work long hours. I thought that it's just not fair that I am spending here on his mad habits while dad is having to risk his health for work that is lower paid than what I get (given the different levels of living)! I was VERY upset!

This morning we had a huge argument, it was his irresponsibilty again, the straw that broke the camel's back! I had a sore throat and high tempertaure and he kept us in the snow yesterday as he wanted to have beer! I was freezing and I had no pullover on. Like usual he started talking about his son, and how he will go and see him in weeks. He ended up throwing the ashtray on the floor, called me s--t ! So I tore up the cheque that I have written and I will let him take charge himself. He left to his mum's (of course to re-arrange seeing his son!) although I was sick like 3 times at night. I guess he will return drunk, and broke and sorry! I maybe hypersensitive to drinking and it may not be a big issue in his case but I have my reasons and he doesn't respect the way that I feel.

I have tried to stay away for one night during this week but it was extremely painful. I do need a break from this guy and his trouble God knows how much, but I am feeling guilty not to pay the rent here, and I also find it SO difficult to be without him, but our arguments have reached a level now that I just want to run away. I started packing things already, but I am not sure that I can find the strength to leave Any ideas on how to do that with the least pain?
Sorry for this long post, but I really need opinions on whether or not I am being oversensitive, and on how to leave, given my emotional dependence on him!