It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-28-2006, 01:43 AM   #1
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2
dave415415 HB User
Exclamation My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

I might be being silly about this, but it all started when i met my g/f in the club by myself and she was with her mates so i joined in dancing with them, after a while she told me to go away and that im a ***** dancer! that made me feel bad, any way she then started dancing with other men while i was watching her looking like an idiot by my self! but what hurts me she is dancing really close to them by touching her legs and waist.
Im just worried that when she goes out without me she does more than dancing with them i mean kissing i dont think she will get in bed with them. I have spoke to her about it but she thinks its OK!!

Been with her for over 2 years now every thing is going great but this is really bugging me.

Am i being stupid about this any help will be great!
Thanks

Last edited by dave415415; 03-28-2006 at 02:28 AM.

 
Old 03-28-2006, 03:20 AM   #2
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Norfolk, UK
Posts: 482
Willapp HB User
Re: My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

No you're not being stupid. She is being disrespectful by acting this way, and yes, who knows if it goes further when you aren't there? I don't know about you but having seen her behave like that, I could never rest knowing she was at a club and what she might be doing!

You need to tell her that you don't think her behaviour is appropriate. So what if she thinks it's ok - of course she will, she probably loves the attention! If she respects you and cares about you then it would matter to her how you felt about it. Doesn't sound like it does. Either make her see that it isn't right to behave like this, or tell her where to go!

Personally, even if she said she wouldn't do it anymore, I'd be a little paranoid that she could just say that to get you off her back, and she might carry on behaving like this when you aren't around.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 03-28-2006, 03:59 AM   #3
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Zebulon NC USA
Posts: 170
Celestial_Kel HB User
Re: My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

I totally agree! She is acting as if she don't even have a boyfriend. That's disrespectful to you BIG TIME! If I were you, I'd give it right back to her! Go find you a group of girls to dance with. Not trying to sound mean, but if she sees how bad it feels to have other people thrown up in your face all the time, maybe she'll see how it's making you feel! That's why clubs are not a good place for couples who are serious about each other to be. There is too much going on and you feel like if you say something about it, you're the one who's insecure or whatever. Well, I'd be insecure if my man was dancing around with other women all the time. You need to talk to her and let her know that it's bothering you and therefore it is NOT ok! Suggest other places that you can go besides a club. But if that is the way she acts around other guys, I don't see how you could trust her at all. After all, if she'll do that right in front of you, who knows what she'll do if you're not around! I think you need to talk to her now about it and if she still won't listen, I don't know if I would want to continue a relationship with someone like that or not.

 
Old 03-28-2006, 06:43 AM   #4
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 274
jenna_250 HB User
Re: My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

Sorry, I have to disagree here, although I'm sure I'm in the minority. If she is otu dancing with friends, what is the big deal? Even if she flirts with men while dancing, is that really such a big deal? Flirting is a normal, natural part of life...and I think it's perfectly healthy, either you trust her or you don't. If someone is going to cheat they are going to cheat, whether it be at a club or online or at work. If this is how your girlfriends is, as in likes to go out with freinds dancing, than you either need to trust her or not. Maybe you need a girl who is more of a homebody type. But to put it in perpective, I am married and have a child, and I like to go out dancing with my friends, and yes sometimes we meet guys and flirt with them, doesn't mean anything, I still go home to my husband. My girlfriends and I even like to go out of town once in a while just the girls and shop and go out dancing and stuff, my husband trusts me completely. And my husband is the same, I have walked in at the bar and seen him talking to girls, being a little bit flirty, no big deal, I'm secure with our relationship, and I know if he does cheat, well that is his loss anyways. He even has some women friends that he likes to dance with, doesn't bother me. But flirting is flirting, and we fell it is a normal part of life. Touching on a dance floor ddoesn't really mean much, it's just dancing/ Honestly, I think you have a few options here. Break up with her over this and find a girl who is more a homebody and doesn't go out dancing. Or learn to trust her and let her have her nights out without you ( I mean why were you there anyways, were you checking up on her). Or talk to her and come to a compromise of some sort, like maybe she goes out less but when she does go out she doesn't get a hard time from you. I don't know, just throwing ideas out there.

 
Old 03-28-2006, 07:51 AM   #5
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: canada
Posts: 463
Lance0204 HB User
Re: My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

well, i've "grinded" with women with bf's and even married women..and their husbands were right there a few feet away from us and he was grinding on someone else too. i personally don't think its a cool thing. the minute i found out she was married, i left. i don't agree with dancing, flirting or ANYTHING with any other guy if you have a bf already. i mean, why would you?? is one not enough?? if you're in a relationship and still feel the need to go out and flirt with other men then you shouldn't be in a relationship...you're not ready.

 
Old 03-28-2006, 07:54 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,402
charlatans HB User
Re: My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

when out with my ex all i wanted to do was to dance with him and no one else...he was the only one for me...wouldnt think about dancing with someone else, i had what i wanted...

 
Old 03-28-2006, 08:12 AM   #7
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: canada
Posts: 463
Lance0204 HB User
Re: My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlatans
when out with my ex all i wanted to do was to dance with him and no one else...he was the only one for me...wouldnt think about dancing with someone else, i had what i wanted...
unfortunately, some people don't feel the same way.. and its so not fair to the other guys at the club either. they're wasthing their time on women that aren't even single and they don't even know it. i always hated when this happened to me.

 
Old 03-28-2006, 08:37 AM   #8
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 274
jenna_250 HB User
Re: My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

holy I really don't get why everyone is so uptight. If my husband was out with me, of course I would dance with him. But I also don't expect him to be glued to my side at all times like he is my property. Gheesh. But if I"m on a girls night, what exactly am I supposed to do, just sit there with a big sign on my back that says "taken"...come on, flirting is natural and normal...what we are taken so not supposed to go out anymore without our partners, and are never supposed to notice others that are attractive? It doesn't mean anything, people will still find others attractive, there is nothing wrong wtih chatting with others and even dancing, as long as nothing else happens and you still go home to your husband. It doesn't mean I love my husband less or he loves me less. I guess I'm in the minority here but we really don't feel jealousy towards each other, we know who we love, who we are with, who we had kids with, and we also know that it's normal to find others attractive, and we don't feel the need to spent all our time together.

 
Old 03-28-2006, 08:42 AM   #9
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 274
jenna_250 HB User
Re: My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

OH I also got the impression that he just showed up when she was on a girls night with her friends...how would guys feel if their girlfriend just showed up when they were on a boys night out, I bet they wouldn't be too thrilled at all...double standard or what...men go out all the time with their friends when it's just the guys

 
Old 03-28-2006, 08:47 AM   #10
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: The UK
Posts: 1,315
Nina000 HB User
Re: My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by dave415415
I might be being silly about this, but it all started when i met my g/f in the club by myself and she was with her mates so i joined in dancing with them, after a while she told me to go away and that im a ***** dancer! that made me feel bad, any way she then started dancing with other men while i was watching her looking like an idiot by my self! but what hurts me she is dancing really close to them by touching her legs and waist.
Im just worried that when she goes out without me she does more than dancing with them i mean kissing i dont think she will get in bed with them. I have spoke to her about it but she thinks its OK!!

Been with her for over 2 years now every thing is going great but this is really bugging me.

Am i being stupid about this any help will be great!
Thanks
Oh no Dave, it's not the dancing bit that bothers you, it's the disrespect that she shows you. When I read the title of your post, I thought you must be insecure. Now I see that SHE is MAKING you insecure, she is excluding you, and wants you to be her audience. She asked you not to dance with them????? That's rude.
My bf has never been a *great* dancer but he enjoys it and we have fun. Dancing is not always a show and a way to womens' knickers.
It's a great way to to feel in control of your body, to feel happy. Please don't let her put you off, and if she asks you to leave her alone next time, don't stand there watching her, go and dance with other beautiful women. I think beautiful women and good dancers don't mind at all a bit of fun

Last edited by Nina000; 03-28-2006 at 08:48 AM.

 
Old 03-28-2006, 10:55 AM   #11
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Delaware
Posts: 45
bjbattista25 HB User
Re: My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

Dancing can be just that...dancing...and if you are out with a group of mixed friends dancing with the other sex there is that understanding and trust between you then it's just dancing...but unfortunatly if a girl goes to a club with a guy and publicly pushes him away and starts grinding on other guys this sends all the wrong messages to everyone...I think you have a right to be upset...and she should understand that she is attracting trouble...not every guy who is out there drinking and sees her blow off her boyfriend and start grinding on them will think it is innocent...

 
Old 03-28-2006, 02:08 PM   #12
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2
dave415415 HB User
Re: My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jenna_250
OH I also got the impression that he just showed up when she was on a girls night with her friends...how would guys feel if their girlfriend just showed up when they were on a boys night out, I bet they wouldn't be too thrilled at all...double standard or what...men go out all the time with their friends when it's just the guys
She said she wanted to meet me!!!!

 
Old 03-28-2006, 02:10 PM   #13
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 492
angel_light HB User
Re: My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

While I was long distance from my SO, I would go to ballroom and latin dances.. and it was with a sibling and some friends.. My, half the people there were married couples over the age of 50. So I would dance with everyone, but of course not seductively. I would have fun... but I would always sit the last dance out, because that was reserved only for my honey! He knew I was going to the dances and he did not mind, because I would give him a call while I was there and even after I left. I would have much rather had him there with me.. but this was something I did, both for fun and professionally.

I think the way she did it was wrong and very disrespectful. You should talk to her. Because that is extremely wrong. I would not dance so close to another man, and make my man sit back.. I would not flirt with other men.. it is wrong in my opinion.

 
Old 03-28-2006, 02:18 PM   #14
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Zebulon NC USA
Posts: 170
Celestial_Kel HB User
Re: My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

I think that this is just another debate thing and all of us posters have our own opinions about things. But as one poster said that she and her man go out and they are ok with mingling with others because they know who they really love. That's fine...but make no mistake! Supposedly innocent flirting can easily become something else whether you love the other person or not! Hormones are always there and sometimes love just isn't enough to keep things from happening. A lot of people with this kind of openess find themselves cheated on and then they can't believe it happened because they are "so in love" and "how could he (or she) have done this..I trusted them!" We are all human and trust only goes so far! I say that if this situation is making you unhappy, you need to talk to your girlfriend now! And don't feel like an insecure jerk for approaching her about it! You have every right to be respected!

 
Old 03-28-2006, 07:00 PM   #15
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Atlanta, Ga. USA
Posts: 318
tigerlillyrose HB User
Re: My Girlfriend Dancing With Other Men!!

I think your girlfriend was being rude and disrespectful of you. Were the situation reversed, she would have kicked up a s&^% storm. What she does when you are not around is a seperate issue. The issue here, dude, is she is treating you like crap when you are around. Don't take that from her. You don't deserve it, and she will lose all respect for you if you don't stand up for yourself and demand respect. We hear a lot about men having to show women respect, but respect is a two way street, and she was rude and disrespectful to you, and you need to tell her than, AND tell her you don't appreciate it.

 
Closed Thread




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:37 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!