Approaching someone - Relationship Health Message Board

Steffers2318 · 04-04-2006, 06:56 PM

Hi, I hope this is the right place to post this...

I am 20. I have a problem talking to guys because I'm in a wheelchair (I can walk with a walker/crutches, though). In the past (I mean like grade school) a lot of guys have been turned off by that and wouldn't even be friends with me because of it, etc. etc. Well I KNOW that just because some people are like that doesn't mean everyone is, but I still have trouble being outgoing and friendly towards guys until I get to know them...because I have it in my head that I'll see that "EWW why is that chick talking to me" look on their face (which has happened recently, too, not just in grade school

) I'm not bad looking, so I always end up thinking it's because of the chair.

I realize I just need to get over it, that everyone gets rejected sometimes. But the problem is, I've never really talked to guys that much because I figure "Why bother?" I don't have the same problem with girls, but I want to start being more friendly with guys...so, any advice? I feel weird looking at someone and smiling, but I guess I could try that...

Also, if any of you dated someone disabled or in a wheelchair...or even if you were just friends with someone...Did the disability make you uncomfortable at first?

TTBABM · 04-05-2006, 06:57 PM

I am not sure if this will help but...my mom is in a wheelchair and what i have found is that it is not necessarily the eww thing but that in general people think that they have to treat disabled people way different. this just makes most people very uncomfortable.(like they don,t know what to do).
Aside from them sometimes having special needs I treat them like anyone else.
I am sorry some can,t get past that for you, they have no idea what they can be missing.

Dan

mada_3083 · 04-06-2006, 09:33 PM

well there's an excercise that is designed to help shy guys get over their shyness towards girls, but this'll help you i think

go somewhere public (like the mall) for a day and simply smile and say hello to every guy that crosses your path. that's it. if they stop for a chat, you can chat if you want, but the important thing is a smile and a hello. what's the worst that can come of it.

then after that try to talk to 3 new guys a day for a couple of weeks. by the end of that, you won't be shy.

Fabat40 · 04-06-2006, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steffers2318

Also, if any of you dated someone disabled or in a wheelchair...or even if you were just friends with someone...Did the disability make you uncomfortable at first?

Oh Steffers,

One of my best childhood friends is in a wheelchair. LOL She ran over my foot during a fire drill in school! LMAO! I screamed and she felt so bad and our friendship started from there. We used to say, our friendship started "on the wrong foot!" LOL I 've known Helen since I was in 10th grade (I'm old now LOL) and she's now happily married with 2 children. Her husband was her brother's baseball coach and they fell in love. Honestly, I don't even notice Helen's wheelchair or whenever she gets on her walker most of the time. It's part of her and I love her. She used to feel like you and there were many times when I would meet her at school dances or parties and boys would reject her... I spent many nights listening to her cry. But her husband came along and he's such a great guy. I wish there are more men like her husband.

hang in there.