Today is my birthday and feeling depressed :( - Relationship Health Message Board

US40126 · 04-06-2006, 06:13 AM

Hey everyone... Well I haven't talked to my ex in a few days...He lost his job at the grocery store, and I found out Monday that he lost his apartment too so he's now living with his uncle. I am feeling really down today. It's my birthday and I have no plans

The last 3 years I have spent it with my ex. Last year was probably the best birthday ever, he got up really early, cooked me breakfast, then he had made a card that was so nice and heartfelt, and then as I was getting out of the shower he had my favorite classical song playing (actually the song we had talked about having played if we ever got married)...man this just sucks. I guess I am missing the him that was sweet like that, but 80% of the time he was a monster. I was really hoping to hear from him today, but I know I won't

I know I shouldn't want to hear from him, but I really do deep down. It would mean so much for him just to call and say happy birthday. But knowing him (if I ever do hear from him again) he will say he had no phone and had no internet, although his uncle has a cell phone he could use, and there is also a regular phone in his uncles house, also he could use a pay phone and call collect just for 2 minutes.... k, well sorry for venting, just needed to get some thoughts out of my head. Hope everyone is having a great day

mismax · 04-06-2006, 06:39 AM

Before, you hope to hear from your ex make sure you truly want to hear from him. I gues what I am trying to say don't hope to hear from hoping to get back together. My birthday was last week and I heard from my ex three or four days after our very last conversation. I said my peace to him and had let go of hope and truly moved on from him. Then he contacted me and I was so angry and all it did was reopen the wound. It really didn't make me feel any better that he contacted me. Just really think about why you want him to contact you. I thought the same thing before I had my final talk with my ex. I wanted him to contact me so bad on my birthday. Then he did just as I had let things go and was truly moving on. It hurt and angered me. Why don't you go out and treat your self to something special today. Why not go get a facial or your hair done or something, anything. It's your birthday and you should be celebrating. Look at this day as a new beginning to your life. Keep your chin up and I hope you have a great birthday. Happy Birthday!!!

raaaaaaaaaar · 04-06-2006, 10:22 AM

Hi Amanda,

I know exactly how you're feeling. On my birthday (which was in January) I actually managed to keep my ex out of my head for most of the day and wasn't really caring about what he was doing etc Probably mostly because I was so occupied with everyone fussing over me! We had only broken up a month previously and it still hurts me but I won't go into details right now. Basically, just before my party was about to get started - I get a text from my ex something along the lines of "Hope you have a cool party, happy birthday" with a smily face at the end. A god damn smily face! It made me so mad. I just thought - how dare you ruin my day by contacting me and pretending we're mates or something. It upset me for a little while. Then I realised that I actually would have been upset if he had NOT contacted me on my birthday (and it was a pretty special birthday - 21st

) and either way his existence or non-existence was gonna upset me. So I guess I just accepted that and enjoyed my party. And it's not as if your ex will have forgotten your birthday - I suspect he just doesn't want to send any false sentiments your way and understands how awkward it might be. I don't know - we can never truly know what is going through another person's mind. I think what got me through it was realising how many people had come to celebrate my birthday and how many people must care about me. It was a fantastic feeling. Just think about all the people in your life who do love and care for you and try to remain positive. Just remember - you will have another birthday next year, and by then I bet you'll be feeling on top of the world

Hiya · 04-06-2006, 10:27 AM

Well, first of all, to Amanda and raaaar and everyone else who recently had or will soon have a birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I had a birthday a few weeks ago and no one said it to me and that sort of bummed me out, so that's for all of you!
Now, I know, it can be hard. Some birthdays will just suck. My birthday was awful, absolutely awful. I wanted to have dinner with my family, nice and quiet, a little cake, and forget about my ex and what piece of crap he was to me, and try to put it all out of my mind. Well, a friend who is also good friends with the ex, called in desperate need of a ride way uptown to get his son from his ex girlfriend for his visit, so instead, I spent my birthday trapped for three hours with this guy, being constantly reminded of nothing but my ex and how old I was, how single and childless I was, it wasn't pretty. But, I've had great birthdays, and I've had lousy birthdays, and the good ones will come around again. IT's just something we go through. Chin up. Hope you have a great year.