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Old 05-07-2006, 11:28 AM   #1
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feeling low today...support please

hey guys...
i think the exam period isnt helping...im feeling so low for the past few days...really low...feel like i cant really do anything to make myself feel good...all the things that use to help to make me feel better arent doing the trick anymore
miss my ex so much- hate not having him around...recently ive come to terms with the awful things he said and done...sinked in now...doesnt help with how im feeling-i feel very un-feminine...i feel very low...like im not really achieving anything, i dont feel entirely comfortable with myself- he must look down on me, he did after all lose so much respect for me- cant explain why- i think these are related to how im feeling. hurts even how he didnt even want to be friends...i do recieve a fair bit of attention from guys and a few have asked me out over the past few months- so i do feel wanted by men, and i am still planning lots for the forthcoming summer trying to keep fairly busy (trying to concentrate on exams but its not going that great) but it doesnt make me feel much better.... i kinda felt better for a good amount of time but it seems as though im being dragged back down. i guess ive been thinking that doing the above will fill the empty void- kinda did keep my distracted- but it wont fill the void...i dont want a relationship now...its not the right time in my life so to those to suggest start dating- thats not what i want...
just feeling a little lost recently as to how i should be handling things...ive made new friends, kept busy, done lotsa new things etc...its got slightly beter...i guess also one of the guys i lived in halls with last year has also got me thining more and got me a little upset- his girlfriend was cheating on him...he broke up with his girlfriend and hasnt been having a great time....talking about it, bringing up those feelings etc got me back into the bad vibes...now im kinda upset and more scared of how im feeling...i dont want this to continue...but itll get even better wont it? i mean it has already- i told him id given up on him last week, ignored his call and went to his place to drop off his CD etcetc...i cant expect it all to go away at once, itll comeand go but i find it scarey more than anything... but somtimes i feel so stupid for feling like this for this long...as people hav said it was just a uni relatonship, only lasted for 7 months etc....well whatever it was, im still cut up...its the feelings of rejection...how he treated me....the little consideration (no consideration) and no respect he showed...made me feel like nothing...and it still does...this is the problem im having to deal with now...

Last edited by charlatans; 05-07-2006 at 11:30 AM.

 
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Old 05-07-2006, 11:33 AM   #2
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Hiya HB User
Re: feeling low today...support please

I'm sorry you're feeling so down, Char. I know just how hard it can be. I wish I had some magic words that could take the pain and hurt and insecurity away.

I've been there, too. You can't control how someone else chooses to feel about you or see you or treat you. The only thing you can do is hold fast to the wonderful things that make you you and never stop trying to improve your life and build a life you can really be proud of, and keep repeating to yourself "how he chooses to see or treat me doesn't change who I really am." Sometimes it works for me, sometimes it doesn't, but you must try your hardest to hang onto that until you believe it steadfastly, and soon.

 
Old 05-07-2006, 11:36 AM   #3
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Re: feeling low today...support please

[QUOTE=Hiya] The only thing you can do is hold fast to the wonderful things that make you you and never stop trying to improve your life and build a life you can really be proud of, and keep repeating to yourself "how he chooses to see or treat me doesn't change who I really am." Sometimes it works for me, sometimes it doesn't [QUOTE]

it doesnt seem to be working now- nothing i do is good enough- yeah fair enough i can see myself being perfectly happy in the long term-my life isnt that bad- so much potential and things are going good its just now i sometimes get overwhelmed with these bad feelings its so horrible i just dont want to take it anymore...i dont want to wait to feel better..dont know how to take a hold of myself and shake me out of feeling this way...its so so hard...
was driving into london today and i couldnt stop the tears...drove past all our favourite places...the weather is getting good over here and i cant help but remember the last summer...
haha still venting can you believe it....

 
Old 05-07-2006, 12:02 PM   #4
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Hiya HB User
Re: feeling low today...support please

[QUOTE=charlatans][QUOTE=Hiya] The only thing you can do is hold fast to the wonderful things that make you you and never stop trying to improve your life and build a life you can really be proud of, and keep repeating to yourself "how he chooses to see or treat me doesn't change who I really am." Sometimes it works for me, sometimes it doesn't
Quote:

it doesnt seem to be working now- nothing i do is good enough- yeah fair enough i can see myself being perfectly happy in the long term-my life isnt that bad- so much potential and things are going good its just now i sometimes get overwhelmed with these bad feelings its so horrible i just dont want to take it anymore...i dont want to wait to feel better..dont know how to take a hold of myself and shake me out of feeling this way...its so so hard...
was driving into london today and i couldnt stop the tears...drove past all our favourite places...the weather is getting good over here and i cant help but remember the last summer...
haha still venting can you believe it....
I know, sometimes it just takes some time. Do you have time today to have a good workout? If so, spend about an hour doing your favorite kind of exercise. Make yourself do it if you don't really feel like it. Once you get started, the endorphins will kick in and it'll get easier to get into the groove. Go to the health food store and get some lavender balm or some lavender spray, or some lavender bath beads and take a nice long hot bath or rub the balm on your neck, temples and under your nose. Take a calcium tabletl and treat yourself to something nice and pampering. Have a good cry if that helps to get the stress and tension out. Then get a good night's sleep tonight. Just ride it out, tomorrow will be better.

 
Old 05-07-2006, 12:30 PM   #5
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Nina000 HB User
Re: feeling low today...support please

Hi Char

Yes I also know what you feel, can't really add much to Hiya's advice, but I want you just to compare the way you were months ago to the way you are now, you ARE making progress and it will get better as days go by. The gap he has created looks bigger than what it actually is. Don't let one person's nasty attitude affect your self-esteem. He is NOT even at the same level, to say nothing of "looking down on you". Keep your head up.

 
Old 05-07-2006, 01:11 PM   #6
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Re: feeling low today...support please

[QUOTE=Hiya][QUOTE=charlatans]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hiya
The only thing you can do is hold fast to the wonderful things that make you you and never stop trying to improve your life and build a life you can really be proud of, and keep repeating to yourself "how he chooses to see or treat me doesn't change who I really am." Sometimes it works for me, sometimes it doesn't

I know, sometimes it just takes some time. Do you have time today to have a good workout? If so, spend about an hour doing your favorite kind of exercise. Make yourself do it if you don't really feel like it. Once you get started, the endorphins will kick in and it'll get easier to get into the groove. Go to the health food store and get some lavender balm or some lavender spray, or some lavender bath beads and take a nice long hot bath or rub the balm on your neck, temples and under your nose. Take a calcium tabletl and treat yourself to something nice and pampering. Have a good cry if that helps to get the stress and tension out. Then get a good night's sleep tonight. Just ride it out, tomorrow will be better.
oh thank you so much hiya...what would i do without you...somteimes i just need to be REMINDED what to do like go for my run or take my bath...hehe...you guys are getting to know me pretty well now...but because of exams all i think about is exams, do work and thats it...cant really fit much else into my life...not even those things that keep me happy and at a sane level...these past three days ive cried about a million times...cant wait till exams are over and i can breathe...maybe then i can start working on making myself feel good again....

nina- and where would i be without you?

love you both x x x

hope i feel better soon....im praying ill feel better soon....
aso i gotta start appreciating what i have more...and ive got to stop thinking about future etc- take each day as it comes...been thinking a lot about future, love etc and it doesnt help...but sometimes you just cant prevent it from wondering about it...

Last edited by charlatans; 05-07-2006 at 01:15 PM.

 
Old 05-08-2006, 03:12 AM   #7
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Re: feeling low today...support please

its another day and im still feeling so low...ive really hit a low point again...
got my exam in a few hours time, and all i can think about is how he treated me, how he never said sorry, he played with me and i let him continue even when we spoke a few weeks back, how he is the most selfihs and considerate person ive ever come across- and i was with him. obv he doesnt have the same morals/ nature as me. i wish i couldlet it drop completly. i dont know why i cant. can anyone help explain why its taking me so long to get over this? im driving myself crazy...i try to shake myself out of it, but eventually i go round in circles...no method of thinking i adopt is helping me...
ill go do some revision for my exam...hopefully thatll take my mind off it for the next three hours, then my exam for a further three hours, then ill be back to feeling god dam miserable, betrayed, disgusted and not at peace with my mind, my body, how i am etc...

 
Old 05-09-2006, 09:28 PM   #8
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ChrisK311 HB User
Re: feeling low today...support please

Charlatans, I honestly think you are dealing with a bigger problem here. Hve you considered depression? I know you say you keep thinking about him but I really think if it wasnt him you would be focussed on something else that you would think is making you unhappy. Are you willing to consider this?

 
Old 05-10-2006, 07:13 AM   #9
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Re: feeling low today...support please

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisK311
Charlatans, I honestly think you are dealing with a bigger problem here. Hve you considered depression? I know you say you keep thinking about him but I really think if it wasnt him you would be focussed on something else that you would think is making you unhappy. Are you willing to consider this?
ive been a perfectly happy and confident girl before this happened. because of the split yeah i suffered depression. i was madly in love with this guy who after 7 month intense relationship decided to leave me, telling me on the phone it was over and for no reason scream abuse and quite frankly go insane (he even admitted that), refused to see or speak to me, start seeing another girl after two weeks (never found out if he was cheating), mentally messed me around etc- this was a big deal to me, ive never had to deal with something like that before. my boyfriend changed over the space of one evening- one min he was crazy about me the next he was calling me to tell me it was over and he never wanted to speak to me ever again and never wanted to see me...he didnt even want to meet up to talk about it for my sake- it was reduced to frustrated phonecalls. i didnt handle the situation very well. but he didnt make it easier in the slightest. i am a sensitive girl who fell madly in love with the wrong guy...this has left me feeling very down, made me have self esteem issues, had trouble accepting it was over for some time etc thats all there is to it...im dealing with it anyway...thanks for the suggestion...
im feeling better in terms of feeling normal- been talking to friends who went through very similar experiences as me, its good to feel normal again...
spoke to my ex the other day on the phone, had a good conversation...he doesnt bother me like he use to and as i said before i have given up on him- he suggested meeting up on two occasions and i didnt put in the effort...its so spoilt...i just feel very lonely, miss him like mad, still want the good times back etc but its so spoilt that in reality im pretty sure that i woulnt want him back if i had the choice...no decent respectful considerate guy wouldve said and done all those things to me...i thought he was the man of my dreams but how wrong was i...and how long did it take to realise it...anyway...theres my update...

Last edited by charlatans; 05-10-2006 at 07:29 AM.

 
Old 05-10-2006, 07:31 AM   #10
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MrZeely HB User
Re: feeling low today...support please

Hey, i know what you mean. Im in the same situation, i broke up with my girlfriend last night, even though it feels like i have a ton of weight off of my shoulders i cant get it off of my mind. I also have an exam today, pretty big one so its likely to mess me up.

To get your mind off of things, its hard to say. Take a walk, a long walk, preferably in an area where there are not that many people, just you and the outdoors. Listen to music and find something to keep yourself busy with in the meantime. A great way to fix things, is go hang out with some friends, but whatever you do, do not mention any of the feelings you are having unless you are honestly seeking advice. Because if you dont mention it, you'll slowly get your mind off of things and have a great time, its just a temporary get away.

Hope it works out for you.

 
Old 05-10-2006, 07:33 AM   #11
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Re: feeling low today...support please

thanks x x x

 
Old 05-10-2006, 10:26 PM   #12
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ChrisK311 HB User
Re: feeling low today...support please

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlatans
ive been a perfectly happy and confident girl before this happened. because of the split yeah i suffered depression. i was madly in love with this guy who after 7 month intense relationship decided to leave me, telling me on the phone it was over and for no reason scream abuse and quite frankly go insane (he even admitted that), refused to see or speak to me, start seeing another girl after two weeks (never found out if he was cheating), mentally messed me around etc- this was a big deal to me, ive never had to deal with something like that before. my boyfriend changed over the space of one evening- one min he was crazy about me the next he was calling me to tell me it was over and he never wanted to speak to me ever again and never wanted to see me...he didnt even want to meet up to talk about it for my sake- it was reduced to frustrated phonecalls. i didnt handle the situation very well. but he didnt make it easier in the slightest. i am a sensitive girl who fell madly in love with the wrong guy...this has left me feeling very down, made me have self esteem issues, had trouble accepting it was over for some time etc thats all there is to it...im dealing with it anyway...thanks for the suggestion...
im feeling better in terms of feeling normal- been talking to friends who went through very similar experiences as me, its good to feel normal again...
spoke to my ex the other day on the phone, had a good conversation...he doesnt bother me like he use to and as i said before i have given up on him- he suggested meeting up on two occasions and i didnt put in the effort...its so spoilt...i just feel very lonely, miss him like mad, still want the good times back etc but its so spoilt that in reality im pretty sure that i woulnt want him back if i had the choice...no decent respectful considerate guy wouldve said and done all those things to me...i thought he was the man of my dreams but how wrong was i...and how long did it take to realise it...anyway...theres my update...
Arent you kinda leaving out the part about you breaking up with him all the time. Dont you think that might have driven him a litle crazy. Not saying it is your fault but I think both parties had fault. If you thought he was such a jerk that should make it easier to get over him.

 
Old 05-11-2006, 08:22 AM   #13
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Re: feeling low today...support please

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisK311
Arent you kinda leaving out the part about you breaking up with him all the time. Dont you think that might have driven him a litle crazy. Not saying it is your fault but I think both parties had fault. If you thought he was such a jerk that should make it easier to get over him.
thanks for your help and support chris

 
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