Problem with mother, please help - Relationship Health Message Board

galinaqt · 05-08-2006, 08:29 AM

My mother just had a surgery which amputated fingers on one of her legs. She has polyarthritus for many years which causes it. Unfortinately she is trying to blame her surgery on father and other relatives who live near her (she was neglected, she did too much for them). They are trying to do what they can to help her and she needs constant help with something. Instead of being cooperative she blames them and arguing with them and wants me to take over. I have a family and full time work and no way I can do everything. My relationship with her is also complicated. It was a point when she was blaming me for everything which is wrong in her life and did not want to help me when I was desparative. I did not deny that she done a lot for me and others. I don't know how to handle the cituation.

Sahuja12 · 05-08-2006, 08:40 AM

Hi,
Read my post from today ("My Bad conversation") about my mother. My Dad has even said that my mom's osteporosis is my fault because I dont "love her" enough...

galinaqt · 05-08-2006, 09:00 AM

Isn't it rediculus. If something bad happened to me it is never her fault even if it is actually her fault, she will always fingerpointing on somebody else.

Sahuja12 · 05-08-2006, 09:35 AM

I was hospitalized a few years ago for trying to kill myself... I was SOOO depressed from the pressure and guilt she induced on me, that too 6 months after getting married...But THAT wasnt HER fault!! I was trying to EMBARASS her and my dad, and blaming them!

galinaqt · 05-08-2006, 11:52 AM

It never go that far with me. May be you better relocate further away. I tried couple shrinks. May be it was very bad choice. First one avoid hard topics. Second suggested to avoid mother and then started attacking me (you was poorly mothered and how different you gonna be with your child) until I broke up with her.