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Old 05-16-2006, 11:53 PM   #16
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Fabat40 HB User
Re: Any advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by write
It is so hard to find people in your own age bracket. Either they're too old or too young. The crazy part is the old ones look young to an extent and the young ones look old. Any advice is truly appreciated.

AAahhh Write! Don't fret.

My ex-husband is about 16 years older than me, my fiance is about 6 years younger than me. I was pumping gas over the weekend and some cute, HOT, young man who's shoes I recognized as designer who was pumping gas on the other side of the island told me he liked my car (I have a Lamborghini) and the brief conversation took off from there. To make this long story-short, I'd say this "kid" is about late 20s, very early 30s, asked me for my phone number! LOL If I weren't engaged, I'd give it to him in a heart beat. LOL

Age is just a number as the saying goes. If it bothers you that much, then by all means, don't go out with an older woman. But from my dating experience, I've dated a lot of younger men, I'd say 99% of the ones I'd gone out with would rather date an older woman because most of us know what we want, most of us are smarter, "experienced" (I have no idea in what perspective ) etc, etc. Demi and Aston started a revolution for us "older" women. Thank God! LOL We're finally being appreciated for what we truly are. In some cultures, "older" women are appreciated like goddessess and appreciated for their wisdom... only here in the USA we are looked down upon which is truly sad. And we're supposed to be the "smarter" country than the rest of the world? Not from the traveling I've witnessed so far.

But back to your subject, if you think an older woman would want to control you, think again... speaking for myself, I already have a child and I don't want another "child" to control. Besides, I have other things to worry about such as my son, my job, my wrinkles, my clothes, my bills and my boobs. LOL You're an adult and you have your own mind... if you want to stay, by all means, there'll be good times ahead. But if you want to go, I'll be sad for a day, but life will go on. A lot of us would be sad because the "regular sex" meaning YOU, will be going away and we may have to resort to our "toys" again. LOL I'm being very candid here. You're tapping into an "older woman's" mind here. LOL

I met up with a friend today and she thought I was only 30 or 31... when I told her I am 43, she nearly fell off her chair and I've known this woman for about 2 years. I'm not condoning younger women, because there are a lot of wise, young women out there... but older women has life experience and a lot of us are pretty secure in our own skin.

Go with what you're comfortable with. Life is too short to stress over little things.

Good luck.

Last edited by Fabat40; 05-16-2006 at 11:56 PM.

 
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Old 05-17-2006, 05:19 AM   #17
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Hoop HB UserHoop HB User
Re: Any advice

UummÖmaybe, thatís why I am still singleÖ as in not marriedÖ. Not that Iím complaining. Iíve always said itís hard to find someone compatible in marriage when I am looking for someone my ageÖ like having the same birthday as me! Well, itís as good excuse as any other!

You place limitations on what you are looking for and you have to deal with the results of those limitations.

HOOP! ( Iím a one trick at a time.. pony)

 
Old 05-17-2006, 08:32 AM   #18
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write HB User
Re: Any advice

I honestly don't want to offend anyone, but I don't know what world a girl would want a younger man. I wished this was true but in my experiences, a woman finding out a man is younger than her immediately assumes he is not on her level. I'm very mature for my age actually. My mother always told me I didn't act like other kids when I was younger.

It's all about assumption, stereotypes and fairytales. Women realize at an early age, looking out into the world, that the person they fall in love with has to be older. It is more traditional for a married couple to consist of the older man and younger woman. Women think men younger than them are immature and sometimes that's the case but not all of the time. I can get over the age thing. I've done it before but relationship didn't really connect for whatever reason. So the problem is definitely not me in this situation.

 
Old 05-17-2006, 08:52 AM   #19
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Re: Any advice

Well.... you say women have this perception of younger men - but what perception do YOU have of younger AND older women? You said in your first post you don't want to basically date anyone that isn't practically the same age as you. It sounds like you may have your own stereotypes of ages if this is the case, so ... maybe it is your problem? Unless the reason you don't want to date older women is because you feel they will reject you because you are young? That's a bit of a blanket statement, no?

I do agree with you that most women do want older men - but there is a very hearty amount of women who do not. I'm marrying a man almost 9 years my senior - but that's because the dozens of YOUNGER men I dated just weren't on the same page as I was. It wasn't an assumption, it was reality in my dating experience. I didn't go hunting based on age, but when I met my hubby-to-be there was a click there I hadn't yet experienced with people closer to my early-20's age. Oh well!

Maybe you should focus more on just going for women you feel a connection to, that's really all it comes down to in the long run. There will be stereotypes and non-stereotypes all up and down the scale, but all that really makes a great relationship in the end is how you connect with that person.

Last edited by Destea; 05-17-2006 at 08:55 AM.

 
Old 05-17-2006, 09:18 AM   #20
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Re: Any advice

I think the problem may be that you are trying to stay TOO close to your own age. As you get older the age gap seems to mean less and less. Like when I was 15 .. + or - 5 years was ALOT. Either they were 10 .. not interested in dating .. or they were 20 .. not interested in dating on MY LEVEL (highschool dances ect ect) however now in my late 20's + or + 5 years is nothing ..

You do have to find someone that you connect too, that is the most importiant part.

The ONLY thing I could see as a potential problem is if you are set on having your own biological children and the woman you were interested in were past her child bearing years .. but that doesnt appear to be the case.

You are young, have fun with people .. date different kinds of women to see what you like from experience.
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Old 05-17-2006, 10:26 AM   #21
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write HB User
Re: Any advice

I get what everyone is saying and I agree. I'm not saying I wouldn't date anyone older than me, what I'm saying from my experiences hanging around people and getting to know them, age plays a big factor in relationships for women I've known. I didn't mean to generalize the idea.
Like I said before, I liked a person older than me and pursued it, it just didn't go where I thought it should go.

I don't have standards for women; as long as they are relaxed, knows how to laugh and smile and under my weight limit, I can date them I don't really care about facial features etc. I mostly care about the mentality they bring to the relationship.

 
Old 05-17-2006, 04:30 PM   #22
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LostMyHeart HB User
Re: Any advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by write
Women think men younger than them are immature
Ha, ha.... that's just why I do like younger men.

But seriously, though, I am the type of person who takes things toooo seriously and gets worked up easily. These "immature" guys are much more laid back, relaxed, and low key... It's a good thing for me to be around. It tones me down and reminds me to relax once in a while.

I think it is the perfect balance for my personality. (It's just too bad they can't handle my seriousness)

 
Old 05-17-2006, 11:44 PM   #23
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Fabat40 HB User
Re: Any advice

Write,

I was in a similar space as you were at one point in my life. After divorcing my "older" husband, I didn't know what I wanted at that time. So, I dated... age didn't matter, the person who I was getting to know matter.

Sounds to me that you need to do the same, find what you want, find what you're comfortable with and get to know the person.

Oh, and as for the younger men I'd dated, they pursued me, I didn't pursue them... and they're fun! Most men my age are full of themselves... they're stuffy, too serious, they're intimidated by women like me and they need someone to stroke their egos and I'm not one to compliment someone unless it's tru. The young men thought I was their age... besides, I knew I wasn't going to marry them... what's the harm in having fun, right? That's why it's called "dating". Relax, chill, have fun and go out there! Don't take things too seriously. Women are attracted to men who are fun and relaxed... there are enough "seriousness" in life. Look at the whole woman.


 
Old 05-18-2006, 04:58 AM   #24
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shai`anne HB User
Re: Any advice

I am 7 years older than my boyfriend. It's not the age that really matters it's how old they act. Some people might be 40 but act 20. You just have to get to know them first before making a judgement.

 
Old 05-18-2006, 06:03 AM   #25
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beforeXdishonor HB User
Re: Any advice

I'm 26 and my husband is 34.
He does not try to control me in anyway whatsoever.
He DOES try to guide me, through his personal experience of growing up, but that can't be used as a misconception of "controlling".
It's really no different than if he were in his mid 20's like myself.
We still have a younger outlook, and do the same things like attend concerts, go drag racing, etc.
I wouldn't be so hung up on age. Of course there are people out their who are older, and will be controling, same also applies for young people.
It's basically just the nature of their character.

 
Old 05-19-2006, 08:54 AM   #26
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write HB User
Re: Any advice

Thanks everyone, I try to keep these posts in mind.

I honestly don't think I want to put time into dating many people. I want a wife and settled. The art of looking at different people is just confusing to say the least.

I also understand it is something that needs to be done so I must get on with it.

 
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