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Old 06-05-2006, 10:23 AM   #1
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nicola0512 HB User
one night stand...?

i dont know where to start, but i feel so overwhelmed right now.

i went to the beach for the weekend and i really had a great time. anyways, i meet this guy and he has this irresistable aura about him that i just cannot explain. im a very sensible and cautious girl. im very careful with the guys i hang out - i wouldnt lie. i chose to sleep with him. i was with him the first night but we did not do it. there was no vaginal or oral sex involved. we did kiss and it was quite intense but we didnt go there.

Anyways, i talk to him the following night and he says he think im a tease. that kindda surprised me since i was not coming off that way. he says things were intense and he got the feeling that i was teasing him. if i slept with him right then and there - i feel that would have made me cheap and trashy. i was really surprised when he said that and i explained to him that its not like that.

to make this short and succinct - slept with him last night - i wanted to. now, however, i feel lost. i think about it now and i wonder if i came off as a skank (?) I do like him and i did express the idea that it would be nice to see him again since he lived 40 minutes away. He smiled and he asked for my number - but i get this horrible feeling that it was just one of those wham, bam thank you maam experience.

i dont want a relationship with this guy but i do want to see him and hangout with him again. i just cant help it - there is just this attraction that i cannot explain.

advice - in fact any thoughts would be great.

was it just a one night stand? was this one of those - now, that i have slept with her, i dont care to talk to her anymore.

Last edited by nicola0512; 06-05-2006 at 10:30 AM.

 
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Old 06-05-2006, 10:52 AM   #2
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beforeXdishonor HB User
Re: one night stand...?

It could be either or really. It's one of those things that you will just have to wait it out and see. But don't be suprised if it was just a one night stand. It's very common for even two people who have been hanging ut together for a month or more, to sleep together and the other runs off. It's just the nature of the "game".
Just hang in there, and see what happens. But don't set yourself up for alot of hope, right now I would just move past it and forget about it unless you get that phone call!

 
Old 06-05-2006, 11:42 AM   #3
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susieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB User
Re: one night stand...?

I would lean more towards the one night stand. It sounds like he baited you into sleeping with him after he called you a tease. It's almost like he guilted you into it. I hope I'm wrong, but been a one night stand person in the past myself, (many, many years ago,,,,) the signs are all there.

 
Old 06-05-2006, 11:54 AM   #4
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Re: one night stand...?

Thanks - more thoughts would be great if you guys read this and have any more.

I do have a question about that whole "im coming off as a tease" - why is it im a tease? I admit I kissed him and things were physically intense and passionate... does that make me a tease?

 
Old 06-05-2006, 12:12 PM   #5
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cookiepls HB User
Re: one night stand...?

Nicola,

I'm sorry to say, but yeah, I'm pretty sure he considers you just another notch on his bedpost. It really doesn't matter if you came off as a so-called skank to him. It doesn't matter what he thinks at all. He's not better than you in any way so don't even worry about it. If you ever hear from this guy again, it more than likely would be for another booty call.

If you're concerned about giving the wrong impression (being called a tease), just don't let it get that hot and heavy until you're ready to go all the way. I know, I know, easier said than done sometimes, especially when the guy is really hot. LOL But there are plenty of guys who will use guilt to get what they want as Susie pointed out. It's great for the guy but unfortunately, it's generally demoralizing for most women.

Try not to let it overwhelm you anymore. Dust yourself off, and move on to something better.

Last edited by cookiepls; 06-05-2006 at 12:13 PM.

 
Old 06-05-2006, 06:17 PM   #6
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KeltoKel HB User
Re: one night stand...?

Yeah, seems "romeo" was trying to con you into bed. I would say he was playing games with you in the first place by saying you were "teasing" him. Give me a break! I think you feel the way you do b/c your gut is telling you that it was just a "one night stand." You should trust your instinct.

Only time will tell. You will have to let us know.

 
Old 06-05-2006, 07:32 PM   #7
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Re: one night stand...?

I know that this was a guy I met up with at the beach - and a relationship is quite unlikely anytime in the near future - Im just so irritated. Dumb of me to give in, since I just met him - but I was really attracted to him. The attraction was just crazy - I really could not help it. I really wanted to do that.

I hate this feeling though. this feeling of "beach booty". Why is it (in my point of view) easy for a guy to sleep with a girl and not care, yet its harder on a girl's part? Im trying to brush it off - but Im the type of person that does not randomly sleep with guys no matter how hot they are. There was just this attraction - this I cant explain it.

Well he asked for my number on saturday night - when we things got intense WITH clothes on. Now that its done and I gave in - is that just it? - it was just another night. He said he would call - I did tell him that I wouldnt be surprised if he didnt.

How do I stop this feeling of was-used-for-the-weekend? Does it make me a tramp to want someone so bad and do that despite the fact that I dont really know them?

 
Old 06-05-2006, 08:13 PM   #8
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mystic_star HB User
Re: one night stand...?

you have to stop being so hard on yourself! We all have made hasty decisions before based on feelings and then regretted it afterward. You can't change what happened...let it go! I would not really be sitting by the phone waiting for him to call though. I think he had his fun and now that's pretty much it! Guys can have very passionate, heated sex and then get up, pull up their pants and be gone. They are just different than women. All of us have felt used at one time or another because that's life. It happens. Just learn from this (don't be so quick to sleep with another guy you barely know) and you will have gotten a good "life lesson" that you can apply to the next situation. I just hope you were very careful and used adequate protection because I'm sure he's a player from what you've told us. There's no telling what he may be toting around.

 
Old 06-05-2006, 11:16 PM   #9
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desertdweller HB User
Re: one night stand...?

You had fun right? You enjoyed it at the time didn't you? Why would you feel used if you got something out of it too? It's not like you sleep with whomever is around. You said there was a connection and you felt drawn to something about him, so why not as long as you practiced safe sex?
His response doesn't sound like he will pursue you again, but you never know. If he doesn't, just keep it as a fun memory.

 
Old 06-17-2006, 02:57 AM   #10
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Guy1341 HB User
Re: one night stand...?

First nicola, you are not a tramp, a skank, a tease or any other words you want to attached to what happened. But I do think that he goaded you into it sleeping with him a bit. He sensed that you were attracked to him, and he used it to his advantage. Some guys are pigs that way. He may call, but I'll bet dollars to donuts that he doesn't. And if doesn't, don't beat yourself up over it. You had a fantastic weekend, and leave it at that.

 
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