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Old 06-13-2006, 04:34 PM   #1
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EWirtz HB User
Falling for her instantly?

I dont know if any of this could fit in with this board, but it's worth a shot.

Satuday night/sunday morning(overnight) between the 10th and 11th of June, my best bro came over and asked me if i wanted to go to his girlfriends friends house. I had nothing better to do and I wasnt tired at all so im like sure why not. We get there and there sets his girlfriend and one of her good friends. We just all sat around and talked about stupid stuff for a while, then my buddy and his girlfriend went into some room haha

Well, im out there all alone with this girl i hardly know, the girls claimed they were drunk, but, i might of been born at night but not last night. They were clearly not drunk at all...I feel this is a way for them to feel more loosened up around us i guess? who knows, but anyway...

She seemed really tired, she was laying on a couch and i was sittin on a chair fairly close to the couch, like a few inches. She said she was tired, and being fun i just said "if you go to sleep ill punch you in the face." She started being cute and junk and was like ohh dont punch me in the face etc., and grabbed my hand. She did that twice, and the second time she held on. We actually locked hands a few times and it was really awkward, cuz i seriously didnt know this girl at all, all i knew about her was her name.

Well anyway, she said she was tired again, and she told me to come "snuggle" with her. I'm like, "i dont even know you", but she just kinda pulled me over to her. Before I knew it was laying with her on a couch, hugging, if you will. I just kinda looked at her right in the eyes, and she just gave me 2 really small kisses, and we looked at eachother, and she had that half smile that is probably the cutest smile ive ever seen. After that she pulled me down and started making out with me, this was off and on for about an hour and half. In between the "off and on", i talked to her, like Really talked to her. Now, I'm not one to actually WANT to listen to really listen to anyone basically, because I've just been through so many things, that 90% of all people that talk to me, just **** me off. I can't help it, I'm friendly and other people are very friendly, but what they have to say, i honestly dont care about. I wish i wasn't like that but what can ya do.

Anyhoo, the way we talked, how we talked, and how i was actually interested in what she had to say took me by surprise. I went from not knowing her at all, to us knowing both our life stories, and almost everything about eachother. It just got better every minute. I couldn't believe it. Anyway, thats that, i just felt really close to her for some reason.

Next day, my buddy told me what his girlfriend was saying to him, about what her friend was saying to her. She said yada yada she felt really close to me, she was mixed up between me and her ex, etc. etc., all that good stuff.
Now, earlier her boyfriend broke up with her, and i was really worried i was just some rebound thing. According to my friend and his girlfriend who is a really good friend of hers, she would never do that JUst Because. She just has too much respect for herself, and other people, which i really admire.

Sorry, this is taking really really long, but a lot has happend.

Now, The thing is, as soon as i feel close to someone that doesnt **** me off, she went to europe on monday for 3 weeks. Now, everything around me is just giving me all kind of signs. My ex girlfriend was trying to get me to feel sorry for her, and shes like "i have 3 weeks to live" and all that stupid junk. Today was work, i asked my dad how long a propane tank lasts on a forklift...he said "about 3 weeks". I was playing with a wheel that you spin and the little pointing deal is on it. i was playin with the 2 nubbys on it, and i looked down, my finger was pointing directly to the #3. I spun another wheel 3 times and it was #9. I spun it 4-5 and the 6th time, it was 9 again. Square root of 9 is 3. Last night was the first time i realized Ken Griffey Jr. got his number changed from 30 to 3. (im from cincinnati by the way) Everything is pointing at me like the end of this 3 weeks, something feels like something is going to happen. And that thing feels good.

Also, at work, my brothers little brother (his mom and step dads kid), i was talkin with him and his buddy, and they went to school with the girl in Middle School. He was good friends with her sister, so im like, yeah small world. He explained how you really have to represent yourself with girls like that, because they have extreme self-respect, and they wont let anyone trick them into something they dont want to do. I respect that a lot in a girl. And when he found out I made out with her, he was VERY surprised, and told me i "might have somethin going, dont **** it up."


Sooo, basically, my question to anyone that takes the time to read this...Why is this happening? Why do I feel such feelings for a girl I barely know and have only seen once? No girl has ever made me feel like this one has, let alone a girl I've only met ONCE. I just don't understand it. Is this a crazy infatuation? Or do I just know what i want? I'm really confused. So if anyone has any help, advice, opinion on what I'm feeling, I'd really appriciate it.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this

Eric

Last edited by EWirtz; 06-13-2006 at 04:35 PM. Reason: Cuss words, hard to understand with the "*"

 
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Old 06-13-2006, 04:56 PM   #2
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KitKat123 HB User
Re: Falling for her instantly?

Hey Eric! You can call me a hopeless romantic but I'm a firm believer in when it's right you know instantly. People who make rules about you have to wait 3 months to say i love you and all that crap...it's just...CRAP! I had been through so much **** with exes of mine they treated me horribly and I didn't trust anyone. The second I met my fiance I knew I was going to marry him. I trusted him I could tell him anything that first night we hung out. We were together a week before he said he loved me and we both had wanted to say it probably the 2nd night we went out. he proposed about a month or so after that. Everyone thought we were crazy and we wouldn't last but with everyday our love grows stronger and we get closer and the more i find otu the more i love him. I guess what I'm trying to say is definitely don't let this one go. Don't necessarily smother her and tell her you love her or anything but keep seeing her and getting to know her and don't ever think that it's too soon to fall in love. When there is that spark you can't deny it and you shouldn't. Good luck....keep me posted!!!!

 
Old 06-13-2006, 05:42 PM   #3
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NitroChic HB User
Re: Falling for her instantly?

I think you may have met someone that is very in tune with you. I say don't question it, just ride it out. It could end up being one of the best thinks that has ever happened. DO one thing though, try not to obsess about her while she is gone. I KNOW easier said than done. Just do your normal thing. WHo knows what is happening to her while she is gone? Have a great time while you are able to.

 
Old 06-13-2006, 06:10 PM   #4
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Veronica_Mars HB User
Re: Falling for her instantly?

Also, as a girl who gets involved with guys quickly, be sure not to get overly invested in this emotionally too soon. There are times when people hook up just because they want to and are feeling friendly, so don't assume she's feeling the same way you are until you know for sure. The best thing is to be patient, give it time, and see what happens. Worrying or focusing on it too much won't be good for you, after all this is really early on, and if you get too invested, you risk scaring her off. Not that you shouldn't be optimistic, just enjoy seeing how things unfold. Good luck.

 
Old 06-13-2006, 07:14 PM   #5
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mada_3083 HB User
Re: Falling for her instantly?

take the emotional side slow, ramp up the physical side, and don't tell her all your feelings at once, you'll scare her off...

how many girls have you dated before?

Last edited by mada_3083; 06-13-2006 at 07:15 PM.

 
Old 06-13-2006, 07:43 PM   #6
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EWirtz HB User
Re: Falling for her instantly?

I've dated a few girls, I'm not much of the dating type. I've had really just one like, real girlfriend that i had a relationship. Thing about that was, she was being like I am towards this girl. I learned a lot from that relationship, and now I wanna do this right. I wasn't expecting to be interested in any girl for a while, but hell, what happens, happens. Thanks for all who took the time, and yes I get what you mean about not becoming too invested, That's something I've also been teaching myself.

 
Old 06-13-2006, 08:10 PM   #7
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Veronica_Mars HB User
Re: Falling for her instantly?

Just see what happens...if you don't expect too much, you might be very pleasantly surprised. and if for some reason this girl isn't the one for you, you know there are plenty of other women out there who might be. Each relationship, in my view, is a necessary learning experience, so I really hope it goes well...

 
Old 06-13-2006, 08:34 PM   #8
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mada_3083 HB User
Re: Falling for her instantly?

trust me... just have fun with her... keep busting on her, giving her hell, and having a good time... no deep and meaningfuls... make her realise it's fun no matter what you two do together.

biggest mistake most guys make is trying to take the emotional side too far too fast... oh and it'd do you well to keep talking to other girls that could potentially be relationships... why? because alot of guys that don't date many women mistake the feeling of having a girl around as "a true emotional connection" when in fact, they'd get the same feeling from any girl that showed half an interest in them

 
Old 06-13-2006, 08:48 PM   #9
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EWirtz HB User
Re: Falling for her instantly?

Mada, yes I get where you're coming from. I've noticed that in a lot of people. But I've been around plenty girls that showed interest in me, but like I said before, I'm goofed up, and many many people just kinda...**** me off haha. I get where you're coming from, but I find myself not showing enough interest in a lot of girls...this is why I don't date all that much. Theres that "sweet emotional" side of me, but then again theres that "i dont really care" part of me when some girl is rambling about her aunt Sally. But with her I just seem to always be interested in what she has to say, and that has never really happend to me, so this is pretty much a new experience inside of a task I've tried many times before. Thanks though

 
Old 06-13-2006, 09:28 PM   #10
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Re: Falling for her instantly?

OK, I think Mada is right about just playing it cool, showing her you like her by teasing her, and not coming on too strong or too heavy too soon. I actually speak from experience, because right now I am starting to fall for an old friend of mine because he is independent and has his own life outside of being focused on me. We've been friends, and sometimes lovers, for years and years now, but I'm just now starting to think of him as more than a friend with benefits. I think that one reason he appeals to me now so much more than other men is that he's not needy, clingy, or demanding of me. This is not to say that you should ignore her, play games, or pretend not to be interested. I have to admit I am easily charmed when a man is nice to me and takes a genuine interest in my ideas, goals, hopes, etc. So my best advice is not to get too wrapped up in her, but also don't be shy about showing her that you care about her life, are interested in what she has to say, and enjoy her company. If we girls don't know you like us, we have to be wary about you, but if you can find the right balance between being sweet and not too needy, you just might have found something great .

 
Old 06-14-2006, 09:53 AM   #11
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brook65 HB User
Re: Falling for her instantly?

Ewirtz

Like someone elses said try not to obsess about her to much over the next few weeks,

I know you say you felt you got to know her really well during that night! but sorry you didn't! I am speaking from expereince, I met a guy on holiday when I was 25, we made an instant connection, and we were both convinced it was meant! we wrote for four months, and we both made the mistake of thinking we knew each other inside out from a one week romance. When we met up again, we were like complete strangers, I thought I knew him, but realised it was an infatuation, and wasn't real. Infact I was so convinced he was my Mr Right I travelled to another country to be with him.

Like veronica said don't invest to much to soon! she sounds like she may well give her heart out to easily, and god forbid I hope she isn't a tease.

Sorry to be so negative, I hope I am wrong.

Was your friend trying to set you both up together and she knew about it, with her asking you to snuggle up with her etc?

I just say don't get to carried away with coincidences, just sit back and see what happens.

Best of luck

Last edited by brook65; 06-14-2006 at 09:56 AM.

 
Old 06-14-2006, 11:20 PM   #12
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mada_3083 HB User
Re: Falling for her instantly?

Quote:
Originally Posted by EWirtz
Mada, yes I get where you're coming from. I've noticed that in a lot of people. But I've been around plenty girls that showed interest in me, but like I said before, I'm goofed up, and many many people just kinda...**** me off haha. I get where you're coming from, but I find myself not showing enough interest in a lot of girls...this is why I don't date all that much. Theres that "sweet emotional" side of me, but then again theres that "i dont really care" part of me when some girl is rambling about her aunt Sally. But with her I just seem to always be interested in what she has to say, and that has never really happend to me, so this is pretty much a new experience inside of a task I've tried many times before. Thanks though
yeah i know where your coming from... i've got best friends that are girls, several that are interested in relationships themselves, a "friends with benefits" much like veronica mars (eerie) that we are both independant, enjoy each others company, but it goes no further than that relationship wise...

but over easter i met a girl through a mutual friend and similar happened to what you found, within 36 hours we knew each other better than anyone. we could tell what each other was thinking...

i went against my own advice, and showed too much of my hand at once.. partially because i thought we clicked, and partially because i thought she'd had enough of game playing from others... suffice to say she "wanted to slow it down" then "needed more time" in other words... i smothered her.

just trying to give you the advice i should have taken, good luck buddy

 
Old 06-15-2006, 03:10 PM   #13
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EWirtz HB User
Re: Falling for her instantly?

Thanks everyone for all your help, I'm just trying not to let my feelings take over whats realistic. I'm gonna try to not expect too much and just start over when she comes home. If it's meant to happen then it will happen again i guess. You all make a lot of sense, thanks!

 
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