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Old 06-21-2006, 11:55 PM   #1
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How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker?

Hey Guys!
Before I start, I just wanted to say you have given me great advice. Thank you so much for all the help and support you have given me in the past. I really do appreciate it.

I really need to get this off my chest. My co-worker is absolutely dreadful - to say the very least. I have been working there no longer than 5 months and already I can not stand her, let alone see myself staying there long term. There is so many things bothering me right now that I do not know where to start! First off, she is completely unprofessional - Dresses inappropriately, flirts with any guy in sight, bring her personal life to work and causes daily drama in the office.

There is this one guy at work who likes me a lot. My co worker never cared for him until she noticed that me and him started talking. Next thing I knew, she pulls me to the side and tells me that this guy and her had a history - he was in love with her but she only liked him, she didnt really want to get involved with someone she was working with because blah blah she has (I QUOTE) "a good work ethic" A couple of weeks later, my car broke down and I was supposed to have a good friend come to work to get me. We were supposed to hae lunch together - she pulled out last minute and this guy was just about to leave lunch. He kindly offered and I accepted. Haivng said that, I asked my co worker if this was a problem before I accepted and she said not at all.

I come back from lunch and she has told everyone in the office what a s*kank I was for going out to lunch with this guy when I knew they hanged out in the past. She made it clear that he was not being nice to me - he was just "using me to **** her off". I was not only upset, I was very embarrassed.

He tried to talk to me numerous times and it got to the point where he said I was acting really immature by ignoring him and that he will not know what he did wrong unless I told him - a very good point - so I told him that I did not appreciate being used to **** ex girlfriends off/ ex flings. He did not know what I was talking about! I was so irritated that I told him I knew he had a history with her and that he was in love with her and that I did not like him using me -if that were the case - to get even with her.

This guy explains his side - it was absolutely different from the story she gave me. I didnt really want to bother and I didnt want to get into who-is-lying-to-me scenario. He explained that she was coming on to him - I was a bit skeptical but I can see it very well happening. She flirts and hits on every guy that walks in the door. I have seen her sit on guys' laps during work hours. I have seen her hug them and I have heard her openly discuss her sex life not to mention the vivid details of her orgasms to the warehouse guys. She has admitted doing a lot of the guys in the office - only reason I believe she told me about was to keep me from talking or hanging out with them. Anytime she sees a guy in the office talks to me she comes bouncing over - next thing you knw, she will be telling me how she does not appreciate me talking to guys she has hanged out with in the past. She says me and her are "friends" and friends do not talk or go to lunches with guys she has flirted or liked at some point in her life.

I caught her twice SCRATCHING the back of my boss's head. The boss's family OWNS the business by the way - he is married with 3 kids and they come to visit on occassion. There is something not right at all. Rumor has gone around that she is sleeping with our boss - I dont really get into that sort of thing - it makes you lose focus on what you are trying to achieve - so I didnt really say much.

Well this last week, the boss and I have exchanged emails. I needed assistance with this software that was locked and I emailed him for help. anyways I thanked him - she went through my email and read every single email I got from the boss and jumped down my throat. She was saying all sorts of stupid things like "boy, i wish i had all day long to email the boss", "dont you have any work to do? do u just sit there and exchage personal emails with him?" - what is wrong with this girl? she is a lot older than me but she seems psychotic.

Everything is always about her. She will get a speeding ticket - she will tell EVERYBODY in the office. When she gets upset, she makes sure everyone notices. She stomps around, cusses out loud and puts her head on her desk.

I dont really know how to deal with her. I like my job a lot and I do it really well - i just dont really like her at all. She wont get fired, i know that for a fact. She gets away with EVERYTHING. When she wants to leave, she just leaves. You will not believe how many girls got fired because she did not want them there. In the span of 2 months, she got rid of 3 girls. First girl came in same time as me and she got fired 2/3 weeks after because she didnt like her. She complained - to say the least about her and just went in to the boss's office to express her dislike for this girl. This lady got fired the next day.

Second girl lasted for ONE DAY ONLY! My co worker stayed after hours and I never saw the new girl again. The third girl worked for a week with me. She came in to help me since (Jessica) - the co worker im talking aobut went to vacation for a whole week. My boss hired this new girl to come in to help me while Jessica was gone and to see if things were gonna work out. Things were fine and good. The new girl caught on quick. She was very productive despite the fact that she showed up black nail polish and tatoos all over her legs - when Jessica came back monday -i took the day off, since I was sick. When I came to work the next day tuesday, the new girl was gone. Jessica was more than happy to inform me that she got rid of another B*iatch.

This girl has so much control over the office, its not even funny. she runs that office and she runs girls out of there. She thinks and says it out loud how proud she is of herself everytime she gets a new girl fired. She seems to think its a major accomplishment. Im not really sure why i havent been fired yet. It really is crazy, the boss lets her get away with ANYTHING.

This girl is the biggest drama queen I have ever met. Everyday, there is always something wrong. There is always something. I swear, we could be in a television show - I wouldnt be surprised if we got more ratings than desperate housewives. One day she comes in telling everyone how she is stressed and late because her aunt got thrown in jail for shooting her husband. Then she comes in next day to inform us her room mates thew her out of the house. Its a long list... but she is starting to aggravate me and make my life difficult.

She gets so pist when I talk to that guy - that guy I work with. well, the reason she got really pist more than anything was she started flirting with him and he completely brushed her off. In fact, he ignores her. He cant stand her and she is blaming me for it.

I have caught her changing stories around and exaggerating things to a good extent that its not even the same damn story anymore. I have caught her do it. Something will happen at work earlier that day lets say... then maybe her friends will call or she "RE TELLS" the story to someone else - Ill tell you, its been altered alright.

Im so sorry this email is so long. I dont really know what to do - talking to her is not going to work because its like arguing with a mail box - it simply cannot be done. she has this way of twisting it around and making it my fault somehow. She is just really immature, unprofessional, and really really scandalous. She wants everyone to know if she fought with somebody. She is one of those types who will cuss people out at work and re tells the whole story to anyone who missed it.

Advice on her and... on this guy now that I have mentioned a fair bit.

Last edited by Hazel_Eyes; 06-22-2006 at 07:12 PM.

 
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Old 06-22-2006, 12:09 AM   #2
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Re: How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker

I really cant help but be frustrated. This girl is an absolute hypocrite. She says I dress too nice like im going to the club. I wear black slacks, gauchos, and pencil skirts that are knee length. I do not expose my breast nor my belly and she is pestering me for how I dress - this is coming from a girl who picks the ingrown hair on her pubic area while she was at work.

I dont know if that is normal behavior but she had an ingrown hair, asks all of us if we had any tweezers, starts picking on it while she was on her desk. This was definitely an area your underwear covers. Im talking 3/4 inches down her belly button - she was picking it at work!!!! the boss asks her what she is doing and she is more than happy to inform her and SHOW HIM that she is picking on her ingrown her. It bleeds and she is more than happy to tells us and run to him and show him.

This girl is just nasty. I can put her in her place and give her a good piece of my mind but... I know I will lose my job the moment I told her anything remotely close to that.

 
Old 06-22-2006, 04:09 AM   #3
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Re: How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker?

Sounds to me like your best bet is to just quit and accept that you couldn't do anything to change the situation.

I mean, if she really does have the boss wrapped around her finger (it certainly sounds that way), then complaining to him may just result in you getting fired (twisted I know, but possible) and then you'll have the fact that you've been fired on your employment history which doesn't look good. Better to say that the position just isn't working out and quit.

The only way I can think that you might be able to get rid of her is if enough people in the office are prepared to get together and make a joint complaint about her - it sounds like this guy you like despises her too, but if you could find another person or more that is prepared to make a complaint, it might make the boss see that actually SHE is the one causing all the hassle. He isn't likely to fire 2/3 people at once unless he seriously thinks he can manage without you all.

If you did quit, it would give you the opportunity to pursue something with this guy as well (better not to get with someone you work with, it can just cause grief in the long run, particularly if you split up), and you won't have this crazy girl breathing down your neck about it.

 
Old 06-22-2006, 08:28 AM   #4
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Re: How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker?

Never quit a job because of a jerk.....there will be another one at the next place....they're everywhere!!!
It she's that blatant about everything, I'm sure you're not the only one that notices. How long has she worked there? You don't have to do anything to make her look bad, she's doing that all on her own.
Bide your time, maybe she will leave. You have no idea how many azzholes I've outlasted at my job, and now they're gone, and it's a nice place to work again. Sometimes you just have go dig in and go the distance. She will fall by the wayside soon enought.

 
Old 06-22-2006, 09:18 AM   #5
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Re: How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker?

With all the social drama, I am surprised any actual work is getting done. If I was the office manager, I would be throwing an absolute fit. It is a place of business, not a junior high school.
Your best bet is to quit and find a more professional office that does something productive.

 
Old 06-22-2006, 10:26 AM   #6
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Re: How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker?

Wow, she sounds pretty frustrating! If she's in the position of power you say she's in it's going to be hard to do anything about her directly.

I work at a software company here in California, so we have a lot of 20 - 30's people here and we're all pretty laid back, jeans and such aren't that infrequent and I'd never even think to judge someone's ability if I saw a tattoo or painted nails, not quite sure why you felt it was important to point this out about 2 different coworkers (the fact that they had tattoo's etc) but I think it might be a good task to work on in your own personal growth to try to not make assumptions about someone because of their appearance Smart, capable people get tattoos too

As for the girl, you seem to have done all you can to not get on her bad side but she just sounds like a total witch. I wish I had advice as to how to address her but she just sounds immature and hard to work with. The boss is obviously no help, and without others backing you up if you did decide to go to him, it would probably fall and deaf ears and just effect your work experience negatively. Sorry

 
Old 06-22-2006, 10:30 AM   #7
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Re: How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker

Hi, I have worked in offices over the years, and believe me there is always one girl in the office like her!

Once when I was 21 I worked with a girl a bit like this girl, always round the boss, trying to please, but lazy, she used to go around the office talking to the men, and didn't do any work, I used to sit there with mountains of typing to get through and deadlines, and when I looked at her she was either talking, or filing, picking at her nails etc.

I think the boss was scared to tell her to do something!

She was also similar to this girl in the fact that if a guy so much as spoke to you, she would step in.

I bet this girl you work with is insecure and jealous of you, she obviously sees some women as being a threat, or competition!

She obviously has double standards as far as her clothes go!

Don't quit, as that is probably what she wants!

I say the best thing to do is blank her! and feel sorry for the pathetic insecure person she is!

 
Old 06-22-2006, 11:26 AM   #8
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Re: How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker?

I think you need to keep to your self and not get in on the gossip. Bascially, all the stories you have told are gossip, gossip, gossip. You will become like all of them if you fall into that mode.

If I were you, I would just do my job, keep pleasant, and mind my own business. Do not socialize with them outside of work either. I know this is hard b/c she is so anoying, but I firmly believe people like this are insecure and miserable to begin with. She will gets hers some day.

Your options are to leave or to just learn to cope. Like the other poster's said, there is one at every work place. The one girl at my place who drives me nuts is leaving after being here for 10 years. Yippee! I won't let the door hit her in the butt!

 
Old 06-22-2006, 04:38 PM   #9
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Re: How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker?

That sounds like a really awful place to work. I would find a different job right away. Stay in that job until you find another job. The problem is that you are more professional and the boss does not reinforce professional behavior. The problem is usually always with the boss and everybody figures out sooner or later that the boss is a flake and bad behavior can occur at certain times. I would open up the job ads and start calling around and get interviews going and get a new job. Also I am sorry to hear about all that negative drama but you got to do something about it. It is also a good idea to not associate with any of those people after work. They are trouble and doing illegal activities. You do not want to even be near these deviant trouble makers.

Last edited by strongernow; 06-22-2006 at 04:40 PM.

 
Old 06-22-2006, 04:44 PM   #10
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Re: How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hazel_Eyes
this is coming from a girl who picks the ingrown hair on her pubic area while she was at work.

I dont know if that is normal behavior but she had an ingrown hair, asks all of us if we had any tweezers, starts picking on it while she was on her desk. This was definitely an area your underwear covers. Im talking 3/4 inches down her belly button - she was picking it at work!!!! the boss asks her what she is doing and she is more than happy to inform her and SHOW HIM that she is picking on her ingrown her. It bleeds and she is more than happy to tells us and run to him and show him.
Yeah umm..that is the most tackiest, unprofessional, nastiest thing I have ever heard..she went to show the boss..shame on her..

Yeah what she did is under sexual harassment..look it up..

 
Old 06-22-2006, 05:51 PM   #11
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Re: How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker

A couple of things, I dont care if people have tatoos. I really dont. It does not mean you are less of a person if you have tatoos - but in a working environment, where you deal with clients - it makes a statement when you expose all your tatoos.

I think its unprofessional to wear an extremely low cut blouse to show the paw print tatoos on your breast - Im not saying she is dumb or less capable - im just saying, its not professional. When you are working, you are there to work - not to show every body your cleavage or your tatoos. Dont get me wrong, when I go out with my friends and party - we wear whatever we want. miniskirts to sexy tops - but that is different.

I know people who have tatoos who are also smart and successful - I just believe there is no need for you to expose it. Jessica makes sure everyone sees her tatoos - low rise jeans and tops that show her belly and her belly pierce - i personally think that is not professional, especially when you are dealing with major accounts and clients everyday.

The other girl my boss hired through tempts service came in a short mini skirt exposing all the 7 tattoos on her legs. Does this make her dumb? NO. But does it project a certain image about our company - hell yeah it does. Tatoos should be hidden, not purposely exposed. If you have tattoos all over your legs, wear slacks - take the slacks off when you leave. That is all the point im trying to make. I just got irritated that she was jumping down my throat for being unprofessional - this is coming from someone who dresses inappropriately... and someone that plucks ingrown hairs out of her pubic area during working hours.

As for her and the boss - she admitted that she has been sleeping with him for the past two years. She got so angry when she found out I sent him a personal email. I emailed him and thanked him for helping me with this software. she says Im being sneaky and there is no need to email him. In fact she says I should have thanked him in person. She demanded an explanation as of why I was emailing him as opposed to saying it in person - I didnt even bother explaining. I told her I was not going to analyze something so stupid. She got really angry and went off the deep end - she basically confronted me and told me that she was "doing him" and that she would appreciate it very much if I backed off completely and left him alone.

Im starting to wonder if she is mentally ill.

Last edited by Hazel_Eyes; 06-22-2006 at 05:53 PM.

 
Old 06-22-2006, 08:29 PM   #12
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Re: How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker?

Wow it just keeps getting worse and worse and it will be hard to leave only because it seems like you are getting entranced with the drama. What an awful place to work.

 
Old 06-23-2006, 10:41 AM   #13
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Re: How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker

you really only have two choices, as some other posters have pointed out. either accept this woman's behavior and ignore her, or quit. the third option of telling her what you think is not a good one. it will only give her the drama she is clearly looking for.

if you go there each day with the sole purpose of doing a really good job, then you can't go wrong. the most you should be thinking about in a day is what to have for lunch, not what anyone else is wearing. it has nothing to do with you, directly. just worry about yourself and if this woman is that bad, she will ruin her future all on her own. office politics are really tricky and the best thing, i've found, is to stay out of it.

 
Old 06-23-2006, 05:18 PM   #14
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Re: How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker

It is difficult. I know everyone says you should just worry about yourself and focus on my job - but it is so damn hard when she tries to look for a fight all the time. Its hard to focus on my job when she tries to drag me into her miserable life. I mean, I WAS focusing on my job and part of my job is to work on computers and if Im having problems is to inform the general manager - just that mere act drives her crazy.

I dont want to quit - I do my job well and I dont want to come off as a person who has no commitment to my job. Like everyone said there are jerks everywhere and you are bound to run into them. I do want to stay especially since it is summer time. Summer is the busiest time ever - it would be awful to just quit this time of the year.

Im afraid that she will run me out of the office. I dont want her to tell him to get rid of me - here I am making a commitment and tolerating this BS - last thing I want is 'fired' on my record.

If I decide to stay, which is what Im leaning towards - I cant see it getting worse - how do I personally deal with her? How do I make it clear that I just want to associate with her at a working level ONLY without saying it? If i said that, I know she will go off and say something stupid like "So, you think you are better than me? Since you are a foreigner here, you think you are better than me? You cant associate with us southerners?"

I have lived in Australia most of my life and I have only been here in South Carolina for a little while... I could never really get the meaning behind 'redneck' until I met this woman. How do I work with her? I just mean, how do I establish a work relationship - I dont want to hear her personal problems. I dont want to feel sorry for her. I dont want to ask her whats wrong when she is crying - I just want to work. PERIOD. How do I make it clear that I just want to work with her?

 
Old 06-23-2006, 08:02 PM   #15
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Re: How do I deal with an immature, unprofessional and completely unethical co worker

Wow she sounds crazy. She should really get fired but she is controlling the office through sex and unfortunately most men think with their penis and not their brains.

I can't stand women like that, it's not very lady like.

As for women and tattoos, yuck they are a turn off.

Last edited by Rembrant; 06-23-2006 at 08:09 PM.

 
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