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Old 06-23-2006, 07:54 AM   #1
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jenna_250 HB User
dads and babysitting

Ok how can you tell I'm at work and bored. Here is another one and this one is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. Why do people who are married or living with someone and who have kids together, why do some of those people call it " babysitting" when the dad has the kids? It's not babystting, it's called PARENTING!!!! I would seriously kill my husband if he ever said he was babysitting his own kids, it's called being a parent and doing the same work that the mom does. I also find it disrespectful to my husband, it implies that he is nothing more than a glorified babysitter and doesn't spent much time with our son and put in what I put in. He is a full on equal parent, and it's strange that no one would ever say mom is " babysitting"...why do people say this, is it because most dads barely ever have the kids alone and my husband just isn't the norm? I'm not sure what my point is, just putting it out there, what can I say, work is boring today.

 
Old 06-23-2006, 08:20 AM   #2
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Ms_ENV27 HB User
Re: dads and babysitting

I totally agree. I don't have any children, but I know so many people who do. And a lot of those women who have kids, still seek for a babysitter when the father is even home. It makes me sick to be honest. And even when they say the father is babysitting. It's being a parent, you're not getting paid to do it-I hope. It is just so...sad.
What's the point in being in a relationship when your still the single parent doing it on your own?

Last edited by Ms_ENV27; 06-23-2006 at 08:21 AM.

 
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Old 06-23-2006, 08:33 AM   #3
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Re: dads and babysitting

OH that makes me sick too. I have heard of that before too, if the wife wants time to herself, even if the dad is home, she has to hire a babysitter. I just don't get it. I go on another parenting board sometimes, and someone came on and asked advice how to get more time to herself and help witht he housework and child caer and stuff because she felt overwhelmed. This woman did it all and got no help, and hadn't had any breaks since her kids were born. I coudln't believe the advice that was given, hire a house keeper every second week for the big jobs, hire a babysitter so you can get some time to yourself, and I'm thinking excuse me, what about actually expecting your husband to step up to the plate and be a husband/father who actually participates. uggg my husband would be out the door so fast....

 
Old 06-23-2006, 08:39 AM   #4
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StenoLady1 HB UserStenoLady1 HB User
Re: dads and babysitting

Totally agree, and I don't even have kids.

I think this goes to a much deeper-rooted issue, at least here in the States; not sure if it's this way in Canada: The media. The media, no matter what form, constantly portrays middle-aged married men as being incapable of much of anything and actually needing a babysitter themselves. You can take commercials, prime-time TV shows, magazine ads, any of them.

The commercial for an antacid with the family at the airport, guy eating a burrito in slow motion with his wife running to his rescue and panic looks on the kids' faces...but she remembered to give him his antacid before leaving, so everything is a-okay.

Take any tv sitcom, which all my married friends with kids watch...the husband/dad is always a bumbling fool who wouldn't be able to do a thing without his wife doing it for him...except watch football, that is.

Grab a magazine with an ad in it that's targeting 30/40-year-olds; the man portrayed almost always has this dumbfounded look, and the woman behind him has the "all-knowing, I've taken care of it" look.

Personally, I find it appalling, as do a lot of men I've talked to. Like it or not, the media has enormous influence on societies. There is no getting away from it unless you want to move to a deserted island. Eventually we become influenced by it.

I see/read a lot about women's groups going after the media for a host of different reasons. I think it's about time that the men's groups do the same.

 
Old 06-23-2006, 08:47 AM   #5
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Re: dads and babysitting

Oh yeah I agree it makes me sick.I have heard men say it before "im babysitting tonight" their own kids!I also agree with what stenolady posted.

 
Old 06-23-2006, 09:00 AM   #6
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jenna_250 HB User
Re: dads and babysitting

You are totally right about the media thing, in some of those commercials I just feel sick. But then I wonder why some women put up with this, and honestly I do think some women treat their husbands like babies. A woman on the parenting board said she actually takes her husband's clothes out for work because she doesn't think he is capable of picking a good outfit! Like excuse me, how did he live on his own, I'm sure he managed to dress himself. Or this is one of my favorites, women don't leave their kids with hubby because they feel hubby can't handle it, or the kids respond better to mom..well gheesh, no kidding the kids respond better to mom if they are never left alone with dad to bond with him as well. If I guy knows he can get away with doing nothing, then alot of guys will do just that, NOTHING! Before I had kids with my husband, I made it claer I wasn't going to become a servant to him and the kids, that dads can do just as much as mom's and I want our kids to see an involved active dad. My husband does everything I do short of being pregnant, he cooks lunches, dinners, cleans, takes our son out without me, watches our son on my girls nights out or weekends away, and would never in a million years refer it as babysitting. when my son was 6 months old I went away for the weekend ( and have been away a few times since too) and my husband did just fine, he of course can handle it, he is a grown man! It was so funny, this woman I know from work was trying to get her husband to do more kid stuff, and her husband said that the reason he doesn't was because she knows how to better, knows where the meds are, what foods the kids like, what they like to do, and all that and she actually thought that was a valid excuse. I was just horrified, I mean come on, that is an excuse if I ever heard one, and how sad is that, a dad doesn't even know what his kids preferences are.

 
Old 06-23-2006, 11:14 AM   #7
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tnmomofive HB User
Re: dads and babysitting

It is funny in a way I recall times when my husband would wig out like ..oh no what do i do now...when one of the little ones wouldnt stop crying lol.Hed look at me and say "i just dont know what to do can you please take him." Well one time I said "no you can handle it" and that was one of the best things I ever did.Yes men will certainly take great advantage of us women if we allow it to go on.We had to figure out what our childrens likes and dislikes are etc. so can their daddies!

Last edited by tnmomofive; 06-23-2006 at 11:15 AM.

 
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