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Old 06-26-2006, 11:22 AM   #1
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: edmonton,AB,canada
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mee_mee HB User
hes embarassed to be with me

Hi,

the title probably sais it all. my boyfriend has this issue with me thinking other guys are good looking. Me and him always ask each other on who we think is good looking or not. A girl could walk by us and i would ask him what he thought of her and he would tell me, that sort of thing. If i didnt agree with him then i would tell him, or i would just joke around and tell him he has bad taste. Which is obviously a joke b/c then that would mean that i am just dissing myself.

Now, when he asks me if i think someones good looking, and i say yes. he gets upset. But this only happens with certain guys. I dont even know the difference between the ones that he gets upset over versus the ones that hes okay with me thinking that they are good looking.
Last night he asked me if i thought this one guy that we went to school with was good looking and i said "yah, hes good looking" he asked me if he was "hot" and i said "no, hes not hot, hes just good looking" and he got so upset and said that i had bad taste in men and that just makes him look like hes ugly and he said that he was embarassed to be with me. I dont even know why he's embarassed b/c for one thing, all girls always complement him on how good looking he is, ever since we were in high school.
and if your thinking maybe this guy that he asked me about was really ugly and that i am crazy for thinking that he is good looking and maybe it really is my fauly, even my friends thought he was good looking....actually, they thought he was HOT. but not me, i just thought he was okay, like he wasnt ugly, he was just good looking.

okay, lets be realistic here, i went out with two other guys in high school, nothing serious or anything. Just childish stuff, one was when i was 15 and one when i was 16. and i have to admit they werent very pretty. The one i dated when i was 15 was out of pure stupidity, it was just so i could tell my friends i had a bf too. The one i went out with when i was 16 was because he had personality. I didnt even bother with trying to get the hot guys in my grade to like me because i didnt think i was up to par with them. And i dont think im that ugly, i mean i was recruited to participate in a competition to represent edmonton for miss canada. i didnt go because i dont think i could compete with all the other girls who are a billion times prettier than me. And i dont like flaunting myself. Im just not one to want to be with hot guys who are jerks who cheat left and right. I am now 20 and turning 21 in a little more than a couple of months and i dated my current bf when i turned 18. He has been my really close friend all throughout high school and he knew what my ex boyfriends looked like. if he knew he was going to be embarassed with me just because i never went out with studs back in the day, then why stay with me for 3 years?

i mean, what should i do? and i dont want to lie to him about what my opinions are, i like being honest with him. I know this seems stupid and childish but he brings it up more than just a little and it does bother me lots to think that he is EMBARRASED to be my boyfriend. And its not like i think hot guys are ugly and ugly guys are hot. I mean if a guy is good looking then obviously most girls would think the same, including me. He just doesnt agree and when that happens he gets upset.

HELP ME. please

 
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Old 06-26-2006, 11:54 AM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: South Carolina, USA
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mystic_star HB User
Re: hes embarassed to be with me

you are defenitely right about one thing.....this is childish! It sounds like middle school drama!! If he is embarrassed to be seen with you, it's not because you think a guy is good looking or whatever. This is his issue really. Since when is it a crime to just look at another person? It's human nature. If it's becoming such a big debate in your relationship, don't discuss it. If you think someone is cute, keep it to yourself. Honestly though, this is silly.

 
Old 06-26-2006, 12:06 PM   #3
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emma j HB User
Re: hes embarassed to be with me

hi
ok i only read half that post..maybe to stop all of it you's to should just maybe stop asking each other if this person or that person is good looking and if he asks u just say ur not going to answer so as not to cos offence. wont that just stop all of it??

 
Old 06-26-2006, 12:12 PM   #4
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tenagain HB User
Re: hes embarassed to be with me

sorry...I can't even follow that post....

 
Old 06-26-2006, 12:13 PM   #5
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: St. Paul, Minnesota
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minnesotagirl HB User
Re: hes embarassed to be with me

I don't think that at 20 years old, this needs to be a huge issue. This is definately middle school level drama. Why do you want to be in a relationship with that level of drama? Do you like the drama? Do you feel like you and your boyfriend create this type of drama out of boredom? If so, that is not healthy at all.

Bottomline is that in a true relationship, none of this should matter. Him saying he's embarassed to be with you is not good either. Is that really how he feels? I mean, come on, it is just silly.

I'd definately stop talking about how good looking other people are, too. That just sets both of you up for a self-esteem decrease--whats the point in that?

 
Old 06-26-2006, 11:02 PM   #6
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: edmonton,AB,canada
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mee_mee HB User
Re: hes embarassed to be with me

yeah i know, it is silly. Maybe i just shouldnt even answer his questions. We just ask each other these questions probably out of boredom, or just something to talk about. thanks for all the advice. hopefully this doesnt happen again.

 
Old 06-27-2006, 08:44 AM   #7
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tnmomofive HB User
Re: hes embarassed to be with me

agree just do not discuss other men and womens attractiveness or non attractiveness.That seems like some silly game to me.All its doing is causing friction.Instead talk about how hot you think each other is ? Most people do notice others attractiveness I sure do and im married but I dont tell my husband "hey I think that guy is so hot" (thats what girlfriends are for)lol I imagine id probably make him feel like chopped liver the same for me if he said that about another woman.

Last edited by tnmomofive; 06-27-2006 at 08:44 AM.

 
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