I'm a 40 something divorced woman of 5 years. I met a man a year ago and it was wonderful at first, but as time went on I had my reservations. I broke things off because I was on the fence about the relationship. It wasn't fair to him nor myself being in relationship limbo. I wasn't firm, though, and he pursued me back and now we are back together. He knows I have my reservations but recently told me that "he wasn't going to let me go". He is a good guy - doens't drink or smoke and is polite. He's handsome and fun to be with. He has a good career and all that. The problem is he is into me more than I'm into him. He's fun to be around, is good with my kids, and nobody has come close to him. I go back with him because I haven't met anyone that comes close to him and because if he didn't pursue me, I would be alone. Still, despite all of his fine qualities, it doesn't feel quite right. His financial situation isn't good and at my age, I don't want to be with someone who isn't financially responsible. He blames his ex-wife for his financial woes but I don't buy it. His excessive ways is something I don't think I can live with. sometimes I think I'm the problem - just too picky. Then I think, no, I have to listen to those red flags. I did not do this in my last relationship (the man I was married to) and he pursued me too only to end up leaving me for another woman. Has anyone experienced being in relationship limbo, wanting it but not wanting it, and if so, what did you do about it.
well you can't force your feelings, as much as you may want to.
you're just not into him......for whatever reason.
you have to listen to your gut.....your gut knows it's not right.
if you stay with him you're settling.....you know he's not what you want.
There's nothing wrong with being picky, in fact, I believe you very much need to be to find that certain someone. I agree with rose, if you are seeing signs of a man whom you'd not necessarily want to be with for the rest of your life, then mustn't suppress your feelings. End things while it's still early and tractable.
Thank you for your support Rose and Calad. I have been upfront with this man but get the feeling every time we are together enjoying eachothers company, he thinks it's s fresh start and all my doubts are erased. I will coast for the time being and perhaps concentrate my energy into something else because fretting over this relationship is wasted energy. (Yet I'm doing it!)