canuck11

Today I am feeling sort of mixed up or down. I spoke to a friend about my situation and I realize everyone is entitled to their own opinion. She believes this is totally wrong. This is the situation...

On July 10 I had my last appt with my surgeon because he will be retiring August 1. I was a victim of domestic abuse and this doctor went beyond the call of duty. He was super supportive, encouraging, compassionate throughout my ordeal. If it wasn't for him I would likely be dead now. I have thanked him through card and a few letters. I didn't realize how much I have bonded with him. Not in a romantic way, lol. Nothing happened that was over stepping the boundary. More of a friend or father like to me. Anyways today he said "You know I will be retiring soon, so if you have a family doctor, he/she can continue your follow up after your surgery. I had surgery three months ago on my elbow by this doctor. I then said to him "Thank you not only for helping me with my medical condition, but also with the abuse. My family, friends haven't been too supportive and you never judged me. Thank you." He said "No problem." I said to him "Would it be okay if I kept in touch with you once in awhile to let you know how I am making out?" He said "Sure." I said "By phone, letter?" He said "I am not that elusive (laughing). I will be at my office for the next while cleaning out things, so you can send letters here." I said okay and then I asked him would it be okay if I gave you a hug goodbye. He said "Of course it would be okay" We hugged, he didn't seem uncomfortable and then he said "take care dear" We stopped hugging and he just looked at me. I said "Goodbye" and left tears forming.

I don't know if it sounds weird but I feel as though I bonded with this guy and he took me under his wing so to speak. I have no idea if he will write back, but even after he leaves his office, I would like to keep in contact with him once in awhile. I know my boundaries and would never overstep them. I wrote him a letter earlier this week and made it clear to him that I respect him as a Doctor and only view him as a friend/acquaintance nothing beyond that. I told him the reason I wish to keep in contact is because he helped me so much, saw me through my worse times and for once I would like to be able to give him some good progress. I also told him I know my boundaries and wouldn't write to him all the time and wanted to know if it was okay for me to keep in contact with him after he leaves his office once in awhile. I asked if there is someway he could give me an answer, left my phone number, cell number, email and said if he felt uncomfortable talking to me directly he could leave a quick message. I only mailed this letter this past Wednesday so he may or may not have it yet. I have no idea if he will respond or maybe he will once he leaves his office.


My friend says this 'bond' is all wrong etc. I told her that the doctor has never overstepped any boundaries as in romantic, sexual way, never given that indication and if he did I would have been out of there in a flash. I absolutely do not have any feelings beyond friendship/acquaintance for him.
I have thanked this doctor countless times for helping me through thank you card, notes. I actually bought him a clock and had his name engraved on it. The day I brought it to him in a gift bag to him I panicked. Suddenly the thought of maybe this it overboard crossed my mind but also felt this doctor was an angel who saved me from someone who would eventually kill me. I hesitantly gave him the gift bag and told him it is a retirement/thank you gift. He never opened it in front of me but said thank you in a happy way. The next time I came back he said "By the way thank you for the lovely gift." I said "You liked it?!" He said "Oh yes, " maybe feeling shy, looking down at my file with a big smile on his face. I figured if he thought it was too much he could have kept quiet or came out and said while I appreciate it, I am sorry I can't except it. If he felt uncomfortable with me asking to keep in contact once in awhile, thought it was too much etc, he would have explained or said sorry no a good idea because of this or that, unethical etc. I asked him if it would be okay to give him a hug goodbye and was prepared and would have accepted the answer no.. He said "Of course it would be okay." If he thought it was unethical he could have said no.

Any thoughts?