Re: Am I crazy...or is she..or are we both...
I feel for you in this situation, it is similar to my own. I've had a different experience than Rose, although I can't say if either of our outcomes would be best for you. My post thread is "Married to a BPD and needing help!...." (there are two, by the way and the older one has the full story) and there it tells my whole story from beginning to end. I choose to stay, as you say you do, with my BPD wife and work it out. It has been nothing but difficult and to watch a person you love tear themselves and you apart when they want so desperately to make it better is very, very tough. If you do choose to stay, then you may want to prepare yourself for something that no person should have to experience. I agree, that I have felt very bad for my wife, but it is not my sympathy that she needed. I don't exactly know why it's happened this way, but staying with her has helped us both and we love each other more today than we ever did before. Our relationship is wonderful and we still have problems, everyday, some caused by the BPD behavior, but most problems are pretty normal......but we have learned another way of communicating and another way of dealing with each other.
Read up on Rose's story and my story and tell us what you think. No matter what, please come here with questions and concerns. This community has helped me through when the world around me couldn't do any good. Hopefully you will come to see this community as I do, people who have been there and done that, who care enough about others in similar situations to give them heartfelt advice and be there when no one else will understand. They know what they're talking about here, but NO ONE can tell you what you should or should not do.