OK. Let's take this "complicated situation" and strip it down a bit. ( Makes it easier to diagnose so to speak)
First, forget about the virgin / non-virgin BS and skip the age issue as well. These are distractions, they are not worth the weight of your breath.
bring up the virginity subject again! Both yours and hers. Think !!
If she isn't
- which is probably related to the assaults, it will re-enforce her negective memories. If she is
, she might feel something must be wrong with her, thus making her undesirable. Either way, there could be absolutely nothing positive coming out of this question.
Second, she's been through some violent and traumatic experiences which she never seek counseling for nor recovered from. You are lucky to have gone this far without her going into relapse and totally close up on you.
Proceed with extreme caution with the physical intimacy, expect prolonged and timid responses. The trust level must be very very high before you'll make progress along the way.
P.S. If she ever confides in you about her dark memories, be very sure to just listen carefully ( no inquiries ) and pay close attention to details. Try hinting to her about professional counseling. It's never too late to seek help.