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Daynah 08-16-2006 03:16 PM

Affair
 
I'm so tired. Everyone always has the sympathy for the person who gets cheated on... what about the 'other woman'. involved I'm so tired of being a secret..how does someone get over a man once they start an affair with him? Whats the best thing to do fto orget that you ever had an affair and to get this person out of your thoughts for good? please help:dizzy:

rosequartz 08-16-2006 03:21 PM

Re: Affair
 
well I've always heard that the best way to get over one is to get under another one
:jester:

just kidding, that doesn't always work.....take time to focus on you, and what you like to do, and what would make you happy

SophiaM 08-16-2006 04:02 PM

Re: Affair
 
I never knew what "focus on you" means exactly, and I'm sure it's hard to forget someone you clearly have feelings for, even if it was wrong to start the affair. But I would suggest that you be honest in yourself and decide that you deserve better. Tell him you can no longer be involved with an unavailable man and that you realized you want it all, including someone who can be yours only. I think that would be the first step to living from a place of integrity and that alone will make you feel better about yourself. Then you can be free to meet the man who will not require you to be a "secret" but will be proud of you and want to show you off to everyone! Keep saying to yourself that you are worthy of such a relationship and don't accept anything less than that.

eve40 08-16-2006 07:08 PM

Re: Affair
 
I agree whole, heartedly, with Sophia.

rosequartz 08-17-2006 02:44 PM

Re: Affair
 
Sophia - what I mean by "focus on you", is this.....
when I'm involved in a relationship I sometimes let things slide that I should be doing, for me......and I know I'm not the only one who does that. Sometimes I slack on my exercizing, my reading, my housecleaning, etc, because I'm so wrapped up in a relationship.

Daynah 08-17-2006 02:46 PM

Re: Affair
 
oh thanks everyone:)

GirlHarley 08-17-2006 04:48 PM

Re: Affair
 
I guess when you are the other woman - you are so wrapped up with feeling for him that you forget he may have feeling for you too............?

Knowing that You Have Freedom where he doesn't? He's got commits, lies, to keep up with. You don't. Although he is with his wife and cheating on her with you :dizzy: He could be so lonely miserable thinking about you?

I'm not saying what you are doing is right - that's not my place to judge, just letting you know it's a two way street.

Sophia's Post was good advise too and so was rosequartz too -
You Are Single, You are NOT ATTACHED, why make yourself attached to someone who hasn't attached himself to you? He's attached to his wife and whatever kind of life he/they are leading............

Do something with those lonely nights - You Do Not Have to Answer to No One - your heart may ache but you are Free to heal it in the manner only you can choose. Don't allow some cheating husband to control your life and feelings..................:cool:

eve40 08-17-2006 08:53 PM

Re: Affair
 
[QUOTE=rosequartz]Sophia - what I mean by "focus on you", is this.....
when I'm involved in a relationship I sometimes let things slide that I should be doing, for me......and I know I'm not the only one who does that. Sometimes I slack on my exercizing, my reading, my housecleaning, etc, because I'm so wrapped up in a relationship.[/QUOTE]
I agree Rose, so many women do that. Getting yourself back and re-entering your life is the first step in getting over a man. I would also suggest to the poster to start reading and trying to figure out why she was ever attracted to a man already taken. Why would she choose a man who could never committ to her and why she doesn't think she deserves better.

Daynah 08-18-2006 02:38 PM

Re: Affair
 
[QUOTE=GirlHarley]

Knowing that You Have Freedom where he doesn't? He's got commits, lies, to keep up with. You don't. Although he is with his wife and cheating on her with you :dizzy: He could be so lonely miserable thinking about you?


You Are Single, You are NOT ATTACHED, why make yourself attached to someone who hasn't attached himself to you? He's attached to his wife and whatever kind of life he/they are leading............

Do something with those lonely nights - You Do Not Have to Answer to No One - your heart may ache but you are Free to heal it in the manner only you can choose. Don't allow some cheating husband to control your life and feelings..................:cool:[/QUOTE]

oh I only [U]wish[/U] he was lonely and thinking of me! I know he's too busy with his life. Its so hard to move on, I wish I never met him.
Your words are very inspirational! Thanks

Nina000 08-19-2006 05:33 PM

Re: Affair
 
I don't understand what defines the "other woman" as opposed to "the woman". Is it that "the woman" is first, and the "other" is the second, third, or whatever?
Is it that "the woman" is the one with kids?
I am asking because I had live-in partner of 3 years, and yet, I was always viewed the "other" woman by his family because he had a kid from a previous relationship.
I just wonder....
Why do you accept to be on the margin? Don't you think that you deserve a "full-time" lover and partner? Are you scared to ask him to be with you because you are afraid of losing him? have you already decided to move on?

You really need to ask yourself these questions. You deserve a whole man, a fulfiling relationship. If you compromise once, you have to expect a lifetime of compromise.


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