Hey everyone this may be sorta long so please bear with me. I have been going back out with my girlfriend for a good month or so now after she cheated on me with a different guy. She pretty much found out the other guy was a complete jerk after he said some stuff about her that wasn't true. So we have been going back out for a month or so now, but I'm not takeing the chance of falling into another trap. I'm not sure if she really loves me like she says she does. Here's what I got off her that makes me wonder if she is telling the truth or not. She tells me she loves me at least once a day maybe a few more times and actully looks into my eyes when she says it, but when I tell her I love her only sometimes does she actully look into my eyes like she is serious. Sometimes she will just kinda do the turn the head quick say I lvoe you quick and look back and smile sorta thing. Sometimes it's a real soft I love you without looking at you. Sometimes it's keeping eyes glooed to tv and saying I love or or changeing the subject after I told her I loved her. It varies day to day. We use to always cuddle a lot we still do now, but not as much. Somtimes she yells at me for getting to close to her when we are laying down watching T.V. or a movie. More positive things, she does somtimes tell me she loves me first and actully looks into my eyes or she will just outa random send me a text message over her cell phone, but that rarely happens anymore. She likes to get intimate a lot and even goes as far as having sex with me. I ask her if this is what she really wants or if she is just doing it to please me and she says it's what she really wants. I mean it's strange I will ask her if there is anything wrong and I ask her to be honest and I ask her if she really loves me and she always responds in the positive. I just can't tell though if she is telling the truth and I really don't know what to do. I mean I love her so much and she knows that, but I don't know if she is just telling me what I want to hear or what I'm so confused. Can someone lend some advice thankyou.
Just remember...actions speak way louder than words do!!!!!! I can't say that she doesn't love you but it doesn't sound good to me. Just the tone of someone's voice when they say "I love you" says if they are sincere or not! Sounds like she came back to you because you are handy...sorry. Just don't ignore the obvious clues that there's someone else again!!!!!
One of two things, she doesnt love you and is using you for a stepping stone or she does love you and feels guilty about the other guy.
Have the two of you talked openly and honestly about this other guy? Can you comletely forgive her for it. Forgiveness is a big word and is more than just a word, you have to dig deep inside and look at yourself to truly forgive. If you do forgive her you cant use the fact that she has been with another guy to "get one upon her"in your relationship. There is no "getting one up on each other" in a relationship of love. Assuming you do truly forgive her you should be able to talk to her about this guy without getting mad and you should tell her that.
Assuming she does love you, she is acting funny about telling you she loves you because she has tremendous feelings of guilt about it and cant forgive herself and wont be able to until she knows for certian you have forgiven her first. She probably wonders if you will ever trust her again also. So dont tell her you forgive her unless you really mean it and after you two have talked it over to yours and hers satisfaction, you cant throw it in her face in the future.
Your actions and the things you say will let her know if you forgive her and if she can forgive herself and feel like you may trust her again one day.
Her actions and the things that she says will let you know if she really loves you.
Then again she might just be using you for a stepping stone,
Last edited by Imalandsurveyor; 08-20-2006 at 11:28 AM.
Maybe she does love you -- hard to say. But it is possible that you are giving off vibes to her -- maybe she can pick up that you are insecure about it and feels pressured to say it back. Or maybe, because you have only recently gotten back together, she is just adjusting to everything in her head still. Or maybe she isn't "feeling" it at the time and is only saying it back out of obligation. On the other hand, the fact that she is texting you means that she is thinking about you in some way or another. Really though, saying it doesn't mean it is true. It really is about what she does -- do her actions demonstrate care? Does she genuinely seem to like to be around you? I'd say her cheating on you in the first place is not such positive evidence -- especially as she only got back together with you when things didn't work out with the other guy. Having said that, however, people do make mistakes. I would be patient for a little while -- give her time to feel reconnected with you. If things don't improve, however, I would say that she does not feel the same about you. Seriously, trust your intuition. If you don't FEEL loved, then you are not getting the love that you need from her, whether she believes that she loves you or not.
Oh come on man, I seriously cannot believe you're asking us what we think of the way she says "I love you". If the guy she was having an affair with wasn't a jerk, do you think she would have come back to you? This answer alone will tell you if she is truly in love with you or not. You need to figure this one out but if I were you, I would have dumped her from the very second I know of her affair.
If you wanted to continue to be treated like a doormat, then stay with her. If you have any respect for yourself, you need to part company. As the previous poster wrote, she only came back to you because the other guy mistreated her, not because she realised what she was missing out on with you.
Don't take this as a problem with you, it's a problem with your relationship with her and as far as I can tell, it's a problem that cannot be fixed.
Oh come on man, I seriously cannot believe you're asking us what we think of the way she says "I love you". If the guy she was having an affair with wasn't a jerk, do you think she would have come back to you? This answer alone will tell you if she is truly in love with you or not. You need to figure this one out but if I were you, I would have dumped her from the very second I know of her affair.
I couldn't agree more. We are suposed to decipher her different types of 'I love you' over a message board?
Dude, she left you, the guy was a jerk, she came back. With these facts, you know the answer.
