WOW...thanks you guys...
I have decided not to leave based on yalls advise. I have a friend who is a paralegal working for a domestic lawyer. She said the same.
NOW...my problem is... with FL law,we have a domestic violence law. Generally, if there is a domestic disturbance, one goes to jail no matter what.
He has threatened me to call the cops and feign injury if I try to take anything from the house.
The problem is...if I stay we get into some awful fights. Mostly verbal, but lately he has taken a liking to spitting on me. The other day my instinct was to slap his face and I glanced his shoulder, he jumped in my face saying for me to hit him. I spit back at him. I did not intend to do this but it just came out since I knew he wanted me to hit him so he could call the cops and have me removed.
I dont know whether I should have these types of incidents documented or what. If I file an information only police report, they have the option to arrest. I dont want him arrested, hell, I dont want to see anyone arrested. I wouldnt be able to make it if he was in jail.
One time about 6 years ago, we had gotten into a fight and he threatened to call the cops to have me committed. ( I threw a glass of ice in the hallway) not at him. He claimed I was LOOSING it. Well...needless to say, I got ****** that he would stoop so low to have me committed for throwing ice.
We got into it and when he grabbed the phone to call the cops, I tried to yank it from him and the phone hit me in the nose cutting the bridge of my nose. I went to leave out the door and turned and looked at him, he was standing there with his gun. I bolted out the door and went next door to my sons house where I called the cops.
Before they got there, I realized that he would do 3 years for the assault with a firearm so I told the cops when they got there that he didnt have a gun even though it was recorded on the 911 call.
He told the cops that I kicked him in the *** when he was trying to call the cops. They wanted to take me to jail for domestic violence....GO figure. HE talked them out of it when he found out they were going to take me for THAT.
So, we are talking about a man that flys off the handle and then threatens me with incarceration. He knows that if he hit me or hurt me, HE would be in jail now.
So, should I have these incidents documented in case he alledges I assaulted him?
You need to consult with a lawyer. A paralegal is a great start to nudge you in the right direction, but you really need to talk with a lawyer, not his or her support staff -- unless it's to book an appointment or get your testimony ready for trial.
FWIW, only a judge can have an adult committed in this state. A cop isn't going to hall you off to a mental hospital based on some guy's word. You'd be arrested, evaluated by several psychiatrists while incarcerated, and there would be a Baker Act hearing set, in which you would have an opportunity to testify, as well as others on your behalf, like your physicians, your employer, your family, etc. Then a judge would decide on whether you should be committed. It's very, very hard to do in Florida.
By not seeking competent professional legal advice, you really don't have much of a leg to stand on. You're taking what he says as true. There are procedures to have this taken care of fairly and equitably, but you must take the first step and make an appointment with a family law attorney. Most will work out payment arrangements. Like I said previously, whatever town you live in in Florida has a Legal Aid office if money is tight. There are very, very good attorneys who work for Legal Aid. They're salaried by the State. I've personally witnessed multi-million dollar divorce cases where one side (usually the wife) was represented by Legal Aid. Contact them or maybe your friend's boss if he/she has a good reputation.
I believe florida is a community property state, unless you all signed a prenup doesn't matter who made what, it was a communal home and the divorce lawyers will fight over what everybody gets. if you own a home, unless you don't care or are afraid of physical abuse don't leave it. Once you do you will pretty much give up rights to it, and have to force it sold to get anything out of it. If you have children and want to keep them don't leave them either. It very hard for the person who doesn't have them full time to win enough points in a custody case to ever get them back. If you have to leave and are comfortable with that decision take whatever you think your intitled to. When I divorced I literally left 1/2 of everything except items given as gifts or bought for them. Protect any mutual money, draw out your half up front or it may never be there again, learned that from experience.
Sounds like your soon to be ex isn't going to play nice, invest in an excellant divorce lawyer to guide you threw the process.
As for the domestic violence part make sure you are never alone with him, if there are witness he cant accuse you, just make sure they are people you can trust to tell the truth and not turn on you when the going gets tuff. As for the spitting and violent history, sounds like you both have tempers you need to control. Call your local pd and ask if you can have a stand by while you take items out of the house for safety reasons. I think you may need to have a temp order from the court first though, otherwise they can't get involved with disputes of civil matters. best idea wait until hes not home go in and take what you need and have someone video the event to document him not there and nothing violent occurs. Just ideas....Best advice ask the attorney only way to proceed safely.
As for the baker act, only two things get you one, harming yourself or harming someone else. A police officer can and will baker act you on a 24 hr hold in a psych ward if they have reason to believe you have intent on either of the first two actions. After that its the psychs and judge who decide if you are inpatient longer. The spitting in florida is actually a criminal act because of body fluids potentially being deadly these days, they take it very seriously and will get you in jail. And you are right domestic someone will go to jail, often both do if its mutual combat. You need to stay away from him and avoid the hot buttons hes throwing at you.
Last edited by angeleyes0906; 08-24-2006 at 07:50 PM.